Hiding VS Showing your "flaws" during a photoshoot

Scars, stretch marks, loose skin… we all have parts of our bodies that make us feel insecure. In our everyday life, we are surrounded by tips on how to hide them. In the media, whatever is not considered good enough to match the current beauty standards has a solid chance of getting photoshopped. Long story short, we are constantly told that if a part of our body isn't “right”, we have to change it.

But how does it work in the boudoir world, when you have less clothes on? Do you face your fears or do you work ever harder to hide the body parts that bother you?

The ultimate reason for a boudoir photoshoot: gaining confidence.

After years in the industry, we can say with certainty that there are way more people wanting to do a boudoir photoshoot for themselves, to learn to feel comfortable in their own skin than people who want to do it solely for a partner. After all, posing with minimum coverage or even nude is a challenge, that comes with high rewards, but a challenge nonetheless. So, theoretically, to get the most of your boudoir session, you should approach it with the goal of letting go of your insecurities and just embrace them. Except it is not easy for everyone, and it shouldn't be forced.

Can you do a boudoir session without showing anything that makes you worried?

Yes, and it doesn't mean you are "doing boudoir wrong". For many of us, the act of signing up for more revealing photos is already a huge step towards increasing your self-confidence. You don't need to add pressure on yourself to go all out and show it all if you don't feel like it. After all, some people can learn how to swim by getting thrown in the ocean, others need to dip their toes in first before exploring, and that's very much okay. You will still get wonderful photographs and a great experience.

If you feel like this would be you, definitely focus on finding outfits that make you feel your best while hiding whatever you want to hide. For example, the majority of women that come to us tend to be insecure about their stomachs. In this case, we suggest getting high waisted panties, bodysuits or other kind of cover-ups like open blouses or cute loose t-shirts. Focus then on the parts of yourself you do like and want to showcase.

Also, the biggest part that makes the right photoshoot is the photographer. The right photographer will teach you poses and shoot in a certain way to take away the focus from your insecurities and accentuate the parts of yourself you do like.

For some, showing your body insecurities is a great way to overcome them.

If you are feeling the itch of finally making peace with your body, going all out and showing what scares you the most could be extremely beneficial.

A professional boudoir shoot gives you the chance to see your body in a new light. We rarely get to see our whole body from another perspective. We see it more often than not in unflattering light, and tend to pay attention to it only when we are not feeling our best.

Being posed beautifully, with the right ambiance and the right lighting goes a long way in body-acceptance. Based on our experience when our clients see their photos, chances are you won't even notice the "flaws” that bothered you before signing up because you will be so in awe by the whole you. You will see that whatever caused you so much worry is actually not bad at all, quite the opposite! It is the ultimate way to give yourself a break and recalibrate the vision your had of yourself on the positive!

On a side note: avoid photographers that edit bodies shapes and do extreme skin edits. What is the point of challenging yourself by showing more of you if it is to get it edited post-session in ways that don't look like you? The goal is to bring some appreciation of our "flaws", not digitally "fix them".

So, should I hide or should I show my "flaws”?

While we would love to tell you to go full nude because it is so incredibly empowering, we also want to be realistic because, even for ourselves, there are many days when posing nude feels completely out of the question due to many factors. The best answer is then: do both.

Start with the outfits that covers you most. Remove some layers bit by bit until you reached your maximum level of comfort. Maybe, after getting comfortable in your session, you will even feel confident enough to pose semi or full nude, but maybe not and that's great too! Just enjoy each step and see what happens.

A boudoir photoshoot is usually outside of everyone's comfort zone, but, while it is empowering as hell, it should still feel safe. It should reflect who you are, and capture what makes YOU feel beautiful, in your own way. Don't hesitate to make your photoshoot your own, with your favourite looks and props, and enjoy the ride!

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Badass Female Photographers - Diane Arbus

Hello Scandals! We are very excited about this new category we created for our blog posts: Badass Female Photographers. The idea is to write several blogs about those female photographers (well known or forgotten by history) who shaped the world of photography.

We are businesswomen, but first and foremost we are artists, so creating this blog series takes us back to photography school and satisfies the artist within us!

For this first blog, let us introduce you to Diane Arbus 📸

We used the following sources for the facts stated in this blog: Wikipedia, Arts Help, and The Art Story.

Diane Arbus holds her 1962 photograph: Child with toy in Central Park.

She was an American photographer who was famous for her incredible B&W and intimate portraits of marginalized communities. I, Fanny, personally love her work (it is my dream to, one day, buy one of her photograph). From the moment I discovered her art, I got fascinated and inspired by her artistic vision and images! What I find incredible about her work is the fact that she dared to move away from social barriers and prejudices in order to document the life of those who were called “freaks” (people with dwarfism, circus performers, giants, gender non-conforming people…).

"She was fascinated by people who were visibly creating their own identities—cross-dressers, nudists, sideshow performers, tattooed men, the nouveaux riches, the movie-star fans, and by those who were trapped in a uniform that no longer provided any security or comfort." - Arthur Lubow.

Her work strongly influenced the way our world perceives people who don’t conform to our society’s standards and the importance of a proper representation of all people.

Tell me more about her!

Diane Arbus (born as Diane Nemerov) was born in 1923 in New York City.

She grew up in a wealthy family but was raised by maids and governesses since her parents were not deeply involved in raising her, nor her siblings (Diane's mother struggled with bouts of depression preventing her from intellectually supporting her daughter, while her father stayed busy with work). This lack of parenting pushed her to try separating herself from her family.

How did she become a photographer?

At the age of 18 she married Allan Arbus, who she was dating since the age of 14. Allan was working in the advertising department of Diane’s father’s fur shop, and he was the one who gifted Diane her first camera shortly after their marriage. With her husband, they opened their fashion photography studio in which Allan was the photographer and Diane the art director (she would come up with the concepts for their shoots and then take care of the models). She eventually grew tired of the unfulfilling commercial work and, with the support of her husband, end up starting her career as a solo photographer.

The main event in her life that triggered her curiosity for photography was her pregnancy with her first daughter, Doon, that she chronicled in 1945. She also took some photography classes with two famous female photographers (that we will also cover in the blog series) : Berenice Abbott and Lisette Model.

Diane Arbus - 1945 Double Self-Portrait with Infant Daughter, Doon.

The evolution of her art.

She started her portraits journey by wandering the streets of New York’s and taking pictures of strangers, stolen moments her subjects did not expect. She kept her distance at first, not meeting eyes with her models.

But rapidly, Diane felt compelled to get closer to the people she photographed, and focus on the one living an unconventional life. She would befriend her subjects, connect to them in a unique way, and photographed them in intimate settings such as their homes. The power of her images, beside the subjects themselves, is the fact that she would make them look directly at the camera and being the centre of each photograph.

“As her works evolve her subjects begin to knowingly face the camera, her photographs become almost provocative with vulnerability. Her subjects are emotionally exposed to the point of nakedness, their eyes staring directly into the camera.” - Kaiya Malik.

Many have thought that her work was an extension of her childhood and personal suffering, feeling oppressed and like a social outcast within her own community!

A controversial photographer!

Diane Arbus - The Albino sword swallower and her sister, Md.

Diane Arbus received a lot of critics, either positive or negative. Some people, like me, were fascinated by the choice of the models and her approach, seeing her art as a way to show marginalized groups as humans instead of “freaks”.

But not everyone would agree with her vision. Some people would see her work as something perverse, she would be called a “voyeur” by some critics, while others would doubt the fact she viewed her subjects as social equals. She was seen as a free-spirit (which wasn’t a compliment at that time) and got a reputation that she was sleeping with some of her models.

Her battle with depression.

Diane Arbus experienced "depressive episodes" during her life, similar to those experienced by her mother, and committed suicide at the age of 48 (1971), by ingesting barbiturates and cutting her wrists with a razor. She wrote the words "Last Supper" in her diary and placed her appointment book on the stairs leading up to the bathroom, her body was found two days later.

"I go up and down a lot. Maybe I've always been like that. Partly what happens though is I get filled with energy and joy and I begin lots of things or think about what I want to do and get all breathless with excitement and then quite suddenly either through tiredness or a disappointment or something more mysterious the energy vanishes, leaving me harassed, swamped, distraught, frightened by the very things I thought I was so eager for! I'm sure this is quite classic." - Diane Arbus ( letter wrote to a friend in 1968).

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How to look like yourself during your boudoir shoot

We have heard many times of the years “those photos were nice, but they just didn't look like me”. Maybe because of too much editing. Maybe because it was the wrong vibe. It happens even more often in boudoir photography, where we are still facing the (wrong) assumption that bodies need to look perfect since clothes aren't in the picture.

It's not a great feeling to not recognize yourself on an image. Here is why:

Photography's purpose is not just about creating art. It's to evoke emotions of any kind.

When you are booking any type of shoot for yourself, it is very likely because you want to see yourself from another perspective and keep a memory of it. If you can't recognize yourself in a picture, you become totally neutral about it or worse, have negative feelings towards it. Chances are you may look at the photo for a day or 2, before hiding it somewhere because it just “doesn't feel right".

So, how can you look like YOU during your boudoir shoot?

1) Pick the right makeup, if any.

Makeup is fascinating. You can be so creative with it and change your face's features. It is often encourage on photoshoots to wear some to get camera ready or just to have fun and get pampered, but it doesn't mean you have to get it done in a way that is drastically different from what you would usually do. It doesn’t even mean that you have to get your makeup done at all! Many of us don't wear any, if this is your case, feel free to keep it this way.

Of course, working with a makeup artist is also the opportunity to try something different, and if you want to experiment, go for it! But if you want to look like yourself, see it as a way to get a professional version of your own makeup.

Having a clear vision of the makeup you picture yourself with is very helpful to not feel like a stranger,

2) Prepare outfits that make you feel amazing.

Boudoir isn't just about the classic lingerie set, far from it!

Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, you just have to remove some layers.

If you feel like a garterbelt and stockings isn't like you, take your favourite style and remove some layers! Loose tshirts with cute panties, a pair of jeans topless, a silky robe, bralette and skirt, possibilities are endless, so have fun with it!

3) Don't overthink poses

When it comes to posing, the simplier, the better!

It's great to feel inspired by some poses you see online but attempting to copy them exactly might not work. One pose can look very different on 2 different bodies. However, poses can be adapted to your body type so they still looks badass, effortless, and flattering. Don't hesitate to ask your photographer, we personally love getting inspiration photos from our clients and adjust the poses depending on them.

Definetely not the easiest to pull off!

4) Try it at home

Practice makes perfect! Observing ourselves, taking our own images, trying on different outfits and poses in front of the mirror… All of these are very helpful to see what you look like when you feel like yourself. That way, you will feel comfortable quicker in front of a lens and will know what works for you.

If you feel like getting the hang of it solo before turning to a pro, check out our online boudoir guide*! It is the perfect tool to learn to style and pose yourself in different settings, in the comfort of your own home.

*its price is 100% redeemable on a photoshoot with us too!

5) Turn to a pro and make sure you feel seen

For us, the goal of boudoir is not for you to adapt to the clichés but for us to adapt to you. Sensuality is expressed in many different way, and yours is just as valuable as any. The more you feel understood prior to your session, the more you will feel like yourself on the final photos. You don't need to have specific ideas, just don't be afraid to ask questions, share what inspires you, even if you think it is all over the place. We will piece it together with you.

Don’t forget to not take yourself seriously or put pressure on yourself. A boudoir shoot is such an empowering and beautiful experience, you won’t regret trusting the process!

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How To Be Your Most Magnificent-Self

We were very tempted to write “badass-self” because for us it has such a powerful meaning. But apparently the definition of BADASS is not super positive, so let’s go with MAGNIFICENT!

It is no secret that when you feel confident about yourself, you achieve more and are less afraid to do things in general. Wouldn’t be amazing to be able to put our self-doubt in the garbage and feel confident all the time? Hell yes!

You build confidence by being and doing!

Confidence comes in waves, and it takes practice to keep it up. It follows our emotions and gets triggered every time we face failures, disappointments, and frustration. On top of that, the media and people can also make our confidence drops if we pay too much attention to the external noises (*cough: people’s judgment).

To avoid those negative feelings and make sure you stay confident in your life, you have to live it by your own rules and make sure you stay true to yourself (it’s time to stop being a people pleaser, for example). If you are thinking:

“Ok ladies, you are right in theory, but all of this sounds vague to me. How do you stay authentic when you are not sure of who you are or what you want to begin with?!”.

We get that feeling of confusion as we have been there. And honestly, it still happens now and then because Juliette and I never really settle for an easy and quiet life. The more you experience life, the more you grow, therefore you constantly reevaluate who you are. It can be tiring, but is always exhilarating.

Even if those self-discovery journeys are very personal, we want to share with you what have been working for us so far and the values that we think are important in order to stay authentic to ourselves:

Stop fearing what people think of you!

Let’s start with this, as this is the most common reason that stops people from being themselves: others.

There are two things you need to understand, and we wish someone had told us that when we were teenagers… It would have changed a lot of things for Juliette and me:

• People will always judge you. It doesn’t matter how you dress up, if you are a good or a bad person, what you do for a living, or how you live your life, someone will always disagree with your choices. It is IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

• People project their own limits on you. How many times have people told you you will never be able to make one of your dream come true? Many times right! They don’t believe you can make it because they cannot do it themselves. Their opinion of you is based on their own experiences, limits, fears, and failures.

Isn’t it mind-blowing? This is why what people think of you is not important. You will never be happy if you let people dictate your life.

Don’t take life too seriously!

Who said that because we are adults we cannot let our inner child out and play without worrying of what others will think? It is sad to want to do something but stop ourselves from doing it because it is not proper or acceptable as an adult.

We say “fuck it!”. Dance like nobody is watching, go twirl under the rain, laugh and cry, make noises or a little dance when you eat something delicious, believe in fairies and mermaids if you want to…

Having a huge imagination and being silly doesn’t make you less of an adult, but it will for sure make you feel more relax and happier.

via GIPHY

Do things that make you feel proud of yourself…

… and don’t hide it from others (yes, even if you are afraid those activities are inappropriate for your age, gender, or profession).

As boudoir photographers, we hear it often from our clients who do a shoot but don’t want to show their pictures to anyone in case people might think it is too sexy or slutty. No one has the right to judge when it comes to personal choices and preferences.

So go take those sexy pictures, the pole dance class you have been dreaming of, or go buy that outfit that is calling your name even though it is too short, colourful, or sparkly.

As long as you feel good about it, it is all that matters!

Embrace your beautiful-self!

And learn to love your body the way it is! See your body as your friend and stop throwing hate at it. We, women especially, are too focused on the part of our body we don’t like:

“Ugh, I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs/butt, could change my nose, or be taller, …”

All of this hatred is exhausting! Wouldn’t be better to be able to find ourselves beautiful all the time, instead of worrying of what we look like just because we believe those old school (and BS) beauty standards?

Well, it is about really wanting to love our body and changing the perception we have of ourselves.

Set boundaries with others!

Some people are really good at feeding on your willingness to listen and care for them. When you let them do so, you end up feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and physically distressed.

You have the right to say no, stop, and/or cut people out of your life if necessary.

This topic deserves a full article, so here is a fascinating blog that will help you set boundaries up. It also works with people who judge you, tell you how you should live your life, or even for your professional life if you feel you deserve a raise or have been asked to do too much for your position.

This is a really hard process, but damn, when you manage to do it, it feels amazing and removes a lot of pressure off your shoulders.

Like we said, it is a personal journey, but we hope those tips will help you to discover your badass-self 😎. And as usual, do not hesitate to share with us in comment if there is anything else you want to add!

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5 outfits you already have for your boudoir shoot

Looking to do a boudoir session but not feeling like going shopping for new pieces? Good news, you don't need to look any further than your own closet to find perfect combinations, whether you are looking for boudoir shoots for women, men or anybody else!

The priority: outfits that make you feel your best and like yourself.

There are two types of boudoir photography: the traditional one starring only lingerie and the more creative one starring anything you feel good in. We are fans of the latter, mostly because we believe that a boudoir session should capture your vibe and your personality. Not everyone feels super sexy wearing lingerie and that's more than okay. Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, you just have to show some skin! Here are some examples of pieces we guarantee you already have ready to go!

1) Evening attire

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to dust off your fancy clothes! Yes, many amazing boudoir shots can be done with formal clothes. For the ladies, a cocktail dress with a strap down, a slit, or even an open zipper will give an amazing femme fatale look. For the gentlemen, an open shirt, an undone tie with maybe a jacket will create this beautiful GQ style shoot.

Bonus: Also grab those one of a kind pieces you fell in love with but don't dare or get to wear! Those can easily bring a lovely twist to your photoshoot. For example: fur coats, anything sheer, sparkly…

2) Your favourite jacket of any kind

Blazer, leather jackets, trench coat… All of these make perfect options to shoot boudoir. Put any of those jackets with nothing under and you are guaranteed a very much badass look one way or another.

3) Your beloved pair of jeans

Jeans are so simple and yet, absolutely timeless for photoshoots. If you love the Calvin Klein atmospheres, you will love posing topless or with a bra with a pair of jeans. Simple, yet efficient,

4) Anything related to your hobbies

One of our personal favourites: take a little glimpse of your hobbies with you! Do you love painting? Bring your apron or covered-in-paint shirt for a spicy artist at work vibe. Do you play the guitar? You have a wonderful prop that doesn't require a very sophisticated outfit. This works for everything you can think of!

5) Your birthday suit

Last but definitely not least: your body is a look in itself! Trying suggested full or partial nudity will leave you feeling the most empowered you have ever felt. This is a decision you can make during your session and while it is not mandatory in a boudoir shoot, it is definitely recommended.

There you go, no need to frenetically shop before your session if you don't feel like it! Your boudoir session is a wonderful opportunity to be creative, so don't hesitate to think outside the box and have fun with your looks! In average, we can personally do around 5 different outfits, so don't be shy!

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How to choose your boudoir photographer

Hi there!

If you are a first timer on our website, welcome to the Scandaleuse family 😀. If it is not your first time reading one of our blogs, know it is nice to have you back here! In both cases, we hope you can find some answers here if you are looking to do a shoot!

When it comes to boudoir photography, you want to make sure you find the perfect photographer to shoot with. Maybe it will be your first time trying boudoir and maybe you feel a bit anxious about it… Nothing to worry about, this feeling is normal! For a lot of people it is already hard to have their pictures taken, so the idea of posing half naked in front of a stranger can be even more nerve-racking even if they really want to try it.

To make sure you get the most out of your boudoir experience, and you feel 100% at ease the day of your shoot, it is really important you find the perfect match: AKA your dream photographer!

Do not necessarily go for the cheapest

Of course prices are important, and we understand not everyone have the budget to do a boudoir shoot since it can be quite of an investment. But if it is something you really want to treat yourself with, there are other factors to take into consideration.

If you go with the cheapest professionals, obviously you will get lower prices, but on the other hand you will sacrifice things that are important and can make your shoot go smoothly. For example, you might get:

• A shorter shoot and be rushed to pose.

  Which can cause you a lot of stress, and you might end up looking tensed on the final pictures.

• A photographer that is new in photography or not really confident in their work.

  The risk is that this person might not be able to pose you properly nor find the best angles during your shoot. An inexperienced photographer might also not know how to guide you and can easily use the wrong words that sometimes can be misleading or not really appropriate!

  They might also not be able to give you what you are looking for if you have specific ideas in mind.

• A lack of quality with the final pictures.

  Such as unbalanced colours and lighting, which affects the colour of your skin and intensify your skin’s texture (including pimples, bruises, cellulite, …). Or a poor editing process. Even if we believe photographers should never change someone’s body (we are not plastic surgeons!), when we edit your pictures we make sure to unify your skin tones or soften tan lines if you have some.

• Low resolution pictures with the photographer’s watermark.

  This means that you would not be able to print them the size you wish and will end up with the photographer’s signature on all of your pictures. If you are looking to have clean prints or a beautiful album in the future, that might be an issue.

Those are a few pointers among other ones. Like anything in life you want to purchase, if you go for a low price, you know you are not going to get the best product or service. In our opinion, it is not something you want to experience with boudoir photography. A cheap shoot is never worth the struggles and disappointment you might get in return. If you really want to treat yourself with a boudoir session but don’t have the budget yet, it is better to wait a bit longer rather than rushing into it.

Also know that payment plans can be an option! We don’t know about the other studios, but on our end we are more than happy to be flexible with payments so you can access the beautiful world of boudoir photography more easily.

Safety first

We wrote a full blog about this very important topic here as we heard some horrific stories happening to some people. We highly suggest reading it or watch the video below:

The recap:

• Avoid Kijiji or Craiglist.
• Always meet with your photographer(s)
• Check the company's reputation with reviews or referrals.
• Have a contract signed and the details of the session laid out before the day of. Everything has to be crystal clear.
• Bring someone with you or let someone know where you will be and when you'll be done.

First impression always matters

Trust your instinct! We mentioned it in the video above, but we want to write here as it is primordial:

Always listen to your guts!

It does not matter what detail triggered that little voice in your head telling you there is something not working with this photographer, just listen to it. Our body usually picks up on people’s energy before our brain does, especially as women (we have a natural protective instinct). So if you feel it is not gonna work out, it probably will not. It is always better to find someone else!

Values are important

Like in any relationships, either it is professional or personal, sharing the same values is important in order to make the most out of the time you will spend together. Since boudoir can be an experience that makes you feel vulnerable, feeling 100% comfortable around the person who is guiding you during your shoot is a must.

If you don’t relate to the message the photographer is sharing through their branding, or you cannot really “recognize” yourself in their work, it is usually a sign this is not a good match.

Contract and privacy release

Even if we love being able to share our clients’ pictures to inspire other people to do a shoot and show the diversity in our clientele, we understand that privacy is important. When choosing a photographer, make sure they have a release option to sign, so they keep your pictures private if you wish to.

Also, you want to make sure to sign a contract that summarize all the details from the shoot and what you are supposed to get. This is to avoid any unpleasant surprises such as change of pricing, hidden fees or any other clauses you were not aware of.

Your vibe should match their style

Every photographer has a personal artistic style, so what you see on a photographer’s website is most likely what you are going to get. Before hiring your photographer, you want to make sure they can give you what you are looking for.

For example, if you are looking for a homey vibe with a nice decors and plants for your pictures background and atmosphere, you don’t want to go for a photographer who mostly shoot in a simple studio on a white background.

Everything has to be crystal clear

Your boudoir experience, from meeting the photographer to getting the finale product (with everything in between), should happen smoothly and you should not feel confused about the process. Never hesitate to ask questions (as long as you respect your photographer’s time) or ask for extra clarification if needed.

Once again, if you feel the photographer you contacted isn’t being really responsive, you might wanna look at other options.

Your boudoir shoot is about you and yourself only! So when you find the perfect photographer that will make you feel like your most badass, sexy, confident, or whatever-else-you-wanna-feel self, you are going to have an amazing experience 😍

We believe boudoir is a life-changing experience, and we cannot wait for you to try it!

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The Day I Said "F*** IT"

Not too long ago, I found an old diary of 13-year-old Juliette. Diary in which I wrote a table with my physical qualities and flaws. My flaws list was off the charts, ridiculously detailed and my quality one had one random item that I put just to write a little something there.

I used to dodge my reflection in the mirror. Maybe it sounds odd to you, after all, you have seen us pretty much half naked on our ads shamelessly and we say loud and clear how you should love and be proud of yourself.

But yeah, I used to dodge mirrors on a daily basis and I don't anymore. And you shouldn't either.

Never good enough: The teenaged years b*llshit

I feel like everyone's insecurities started when they were teenagers or younger. Probably because kids can be total jerks with each other. I had never noticed that I had a bit of a belly, or that my chest was absolutely flat until some girls told me. Then, it just echoed and became a part of me.

So, of course, teenaged Juliette started random diets while feeling like crap. Did I lose weight? Yes I did. But I developed body-dysmorphia very sneakily, mostly by seeing myself much bigger than I actually was for years. At now 30-something, I still deal with those kind of episodes here and there and I do believe it will always be a part of me.

I wrote another blog post about this specific topic over here, if you'd like to save this one for later.

Pretty much when I started being called "Fat".

When I was finally out for high school and went to Paris to study Photography (when I met Fanny!), it hit me: why am I making myself feel like that over some stupid comments from people I didn't even care about from years ago?

So I just decided to say "F*** It" and I gave myself a chance.

I gave myself a chance to first be okay with how I looked. Bit by bit. You can't just wake up one day and feel gorgeous after feeling the opposite for so long.

One of the first changes I implemented was to stop comparing myself to others and thinking they were a little evil because they looked so good. Instead, I started looking for people I could relate to, and people who inspired me for fashion, makeup, attitude, you name it. I experimented different looks until I felt comfortable, and until I simply felt like myself. I was careful by removing people that felt way too far out of reach as I knew how easy it could be to fall back into the comparison trap over fictional lives.

My next move was to stop giving that much importance to the negative comments from a minority of people and to open my ears to all of the positive ones that I was getting from people who matter. It is incredibly easy to ignore those. We often say it takes 5 good comments to remove a bad one, but it doesn't have to be that way.

I also stopped hiding my “flaws” to the best of my ability with very simple things. One example I can think of is the fact that I don't wear bras anymore. Me and my tiny boobies used to wear those (very uncomfortable) push-up bras and it just made it worse in my journey of liking myself. When I stopped wearing bras at home, I actually got used to just seeing my breasts the way they are, so much so that they actually became pretty to me over time. I enjoy the freedom of it so much now, those nasty bras retired years ago.

Last but definitely not least as it shaped my entire career: I challenged myself to take self-portraits. My face, my body. I created my little world just for myself at the beginning at first. Then it made me so proud that I felt confident enough to show them to others too. And even better, I started doing it for other people.

Working as a boudoir photographer has helped me tremendously as we use ourselves for marketing purpose for Scandaleuse and are showing pretty much everything. Being a hypocrite wasn't an option for me: I couldn't offer a service I wasn't comfortable with myself. That fear was stronger than my original insecurities, which made it easier to fight.

Meanwhile, Fanny was doing it too. That's probably why, when we sat down a few years ago to talk about what we could build together, we naturally went towards boudoir. To show you how good you look when you feel vulnerable. To show you how beautiful we see you. Yes you.

And now?

I am not here to tell you that my insecurities vanished. Like mentioned earlier, some will always be part of me and that's okay. I have learnt however to manage them by figuring out what my triggers are. For example, a simple change of routine can set me up for a week of body-dysmorphia. Knowing this fact makes it easier to detach and let it be, because I know it will pass when I just get back to my usual moves.

It's okay not to feel okay today, you'll feel better tomorrow.

If you feel crappy about yourself, I am giving you a virtual hug and I am telling you that everything is going to be okay. Don't let that win. Do not stay in the dark if it gets worse and worse, seeking help is not something to be ashamed of.

And if you are looking to throw your insecurities down the drain where they belong, book a boudoir session already (and get 10% off until oct 31st!)

What happens during a boudoir shoot?

If you haven’t done a boudoir shoot yet you might wonder what’s going on during the session. Today, we are sharing with you everything that is happening the day of your shoot!

But before we dive in, let us explain what is Boudoir in case you are not familiar with this term:

A boudoir shoot is a type of photography in which people are showing more skin than traditional portrait photography. The photos are usually intimate, sensual, sexy (but can also be in a more cosy vibe for those who prefer this than being sexy). People have different reasons to do a boudoir shoot, but the most common one is the desire to increase self-confidence (we wrote a blog here that explains it more in details).

Let us guide you first through the basics of our boudoir shoots but read everything to the end as we are sharing about points people don’t necessarily think of!

• We put your favourite music on!

When we meet you on Zoom for an introduction meeting, we tell you to create a playlist with your favourite songs on your phone so you can really put yourself in the mood during your session. Music is a powerful tool to help you relax and have fun.

• We look at your outfits!

During the meeting we previously mentioned, we suggest to you to bring a suitcase full of different outfits and props. Before we start shooting, we spend the first 10 minutes going through what you brought, select your top 3 outfits, and help you mix and match or find ideas for the other pieces.

Seeing your outfits and props is what makes us create scenarios and the different sets we are going to pose you in.

• Let the shoot begin!

This is usually the moment most people are nervous about, especially when they are first timers. But there is nothing to worry about as we pose you and guide you the entire session, and make sure the poses are adapted to your body type and flexibility level. So even if you don’t know how to pose, or are not feeling really good about your body, if you follow our guidance, you let loose and will end up having a lot of fun.

You will see that time flies very quickly during your boudoir session. Since both of us are on the shoot, one of us is always setting up for the next set when the other is shooting, which makes the session flows nicely!

Now that you know the “technical” stuff of what is happening during your shoot, we want to talk to you about what happens to your body and mind!

• You let loose!

Most of the people who contact us to book a session always tell us they are not photogenic and feel very awkward in front of a camera. That is one of the reason they can feel nervous with the idea of trying boudoir photography and can be tensed at the beginning of the shoot. But since we create a fun vibe from the start and take the time to demonstrate the poses, you start to relax and enjoy being photographed. You forgot about not being photogenic and start to rock those poses 😎.

• Your sensuality starts to kick in.

It is not easy for a lot of people to embrace their sensuality, or even dare to think of themselves as sensual beings. Boudoir photography is very powerful for that because it allows you to show the amount of skin you want, let go of the people’s judgment, focus on yourself, and be more in touch with your body. All of this combined helps your sensuality shines!

• You unlock your confidence.

During your boudoir shoot, we also show you how to improve your posture, and this is something you take with you in your everyday life! We will tell you to straighten your back, bring your chest up, make yourself taller, and walk like you own the place. All of those little adjustments help to increase your self-confidence and you remember those for years!

On top of that, you will embrace all of your personalities during your boudoir experience. In 90 minutes, you can go from a cosy vibe to a having a badass attitude, and truly showcase your most fearless, sexy, confident, cute, or whatever else you want to showcase 🔥.

Ready for a shoot with us?

Then we have a great deal on our boudoir shoots, and we are offering you the opportunity to give back as well. If you book your shoot before the end of October (don’t worry, you will have 3 months upon booking to schedule your photoshoot), you will get 10% off our boudoir shoots and part of the proceeds will be donated to The Pink Ribbon boutique to help mastectomy survivors afford prosthetics.

All the details below!

Also don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter if it is not done yet :)

5 reasons to do a boudoir shoot you wouldn't think of.

Many traditional reasons come to mind when thinking of doing a boudoir session. Offering the photos as a gift for a special someone, celebrating a milestone, challenging yourself in lingerie… All of these are very valid reasons, but today, we wanted to share extra ones you may have never thought of.

1) Getting to see yourself as Art.

Let's be honest, getting images of yourself you are in love with is hard. We are definitely our worst critique, and are not shy to talk down to ourselves. When we do find said photo, it becomes the only one we refer to when needed.

While you should get some photos you like during a professional photoshoot, we think a boudoir photography session - when done properly and with the right photographers 😉 - gives you way more than that.

You are dealing with actual artists. People who will see beyond your physical appearance, who won't even notice anything you are insecure about and will create a whole concept, light, set around who you are to, finally, translate it all in actual art pieces. When done right, you will end up with images you will want to stare at forever.

2) The long lasting effect on your confidence

One of the biggest reason to do a boudoir shoot is to increase your confidence. But what people don't know is that this confident boost is not showing only during the photoshoot: it sticks with you for a long time afterwards.

The confidence brought out during a boudoir photoshoot will shine on many other areas of your life. You will stand taller. You will dare to do more things, take more room, make bigger decisions. It replenishes your self-trust, and god knows we can all use a layer of that.

3) Bringing light on sides of yourself that don't get to shine often

Between adapting ourselves to others, fighting our own insecurities, dealing with beauty standards, not daring to wear what we want, our brains are polluted with restrictions we apply to ourselves. During a boudoir shoot, you can just let go of all of these and have fun exploring and bringing out those sides of yourself.

Feeling like wearing a sexy cocktail dress while holding a glass of whisky despite living your every day life in corporate outfits? Go for it. Do you want to wear a victorian tulle robe just for the hell of it? Yes please. What about that badass harness you would never dare wearing in public? Bring it.

A boudoir photoshoot is a judgement free zone. If anything, it is encouraged to be creative and more importantly: be extra.

Give yourself a chance to be sensual, to try different looks and illustrate the different facets of your personality!

4) For fun and quality time with yourself.

Since boudoir can feel vulnerable and intimidating, it is very easy to forget that it is actually fun. For a couple of hours, no one is asking anything from you besides just letting loose, and that's REFRESHING.

5) Help a great cause

Last but definitely not least: you can actually make a difference in a specific cause, by picking a specific photographer.

We have the best example to give you at the moment: for the whole month of October, we are giving 10% off our session fee and donating a portion of the proceeds to the Pink Ribbon Boutique, a store that specializes in prosthetics and lingerie for breast cancer survivors.

If you were looking for one last push before booking a shoot for yourself, know that you can help a breast cancer survivor purchase a prosthetic with your booking.

Follow this link for details or click on the button below!

You are always worthy of respect

Disclaimer: we will be chatting about being true to who you are and standing up for yourself in this post. Needless to say, we are not referring to any behaviours involving harming yourself or other people.

Respect is a must to give, but also to receive!

Why do people lose respect for others to begin with?

Because they don't share the same values or standards. Of course, if we are talking about racism, slut-shaming, sexism and everything else falling into the hatred & discrimation category, this is a different topic. This time, we are referring to choices that YOU make for YOUR own well-being that don't necessarily get "approval" from others. Maybe for certain people, the fact that you practice a certain sport for example can be a reason to lose respect (any pole-dancers out there? Why mess with someone who can bend around a piece of metal to begin with?!) 

But here is the thing: those indicators that people use to judge you are actually not about you per se, they are about them. They are created by their own conditioning, insecurities, past experiences and so on.

So you might as well take a step back and not let it affect you as much because…

Not everyone is going to like you, so you might as well do you!

That can be a tough pill to swallow (yep, for us too): not everyone likes you. Even if you didn't do anything to them. 

Instead of trying to bend over backwards to please everyone, it is much better to surround yourself with people who support you and share the similar values you have. You will be much happier around them, you will build stronger connections, but most importantly, you will feel like yourself.

Embracing who you are is a must for your own happiness. You don't have the energy, room, or time, for people who disrespect you for being you. No one else but YOU is eligible to judge your choices and decisions. 

Don’t let people make you feel like your are worthless!

Your hobbies, education, sexual preferences, or any choices you make related to your appearance, you name it, should NOT affect your credibility.

We often hide or dismiss some aspects of our personalities in order to "fit in". We see it constantly in our industry since we photograph people in a way that can be seen "provocative" by (narrow-minded) traditional minds. Most of our clients are looking to regain confidence and want to feel sexy in their own skin. And some of them want to share their photos with the world as a way to stand up for themselves loud and clear.  Yet, a good 50% don’t dare to do so due to the fear of losing credibility with the people they love and appearing less professional with people from their work if they happen to see the photographs of their shoot.

Don't get us wrong, if you wish to keep your pictures (or any projects) just to yourself because it's part of your own journey, that's totally cool. But if you stop yourself from showing your photographs because you are afraid of what people would say, then you need to realize that you are not the problem. The people judging you are. 

We are strong believers that, if someone is trying to make you feel small and if you just don't give it any attention, try to defend or dismiss it, the "judger" will feel so damn ridiculous that they will end up giving themselves a taste of their own medicine. 

To give you an example, since we use ourselves for our boudoir advertising, we have heard some snarky comments about how "we are just posing naked online". By just saying "yeah, so what? I think I look damn good too!", we remove any possibility for a judgmental response.

You cannot shame someone who is confident in their choices. You cannot affect someone with your judgement if they don’t allowing it. Confidence is truly a super power my friends!

No one can fit in just one box and that is pretty neat! 

Back in the day, even maybe a decade ago, we were supposed to fit nicely in one category and stay in it. Nowadays, people can be so many things at once and it's such a great time to be alive. Thanks to this, we are removing pressure, and changing our standards and expectations.

We are even changing the definition of power by making it about standing up for ourselves and being open about it. We are kicking the stigmas back to oblivion.

Would it shock you if your lawyer had a passion for making macarons? No. What if your dentist was fond of doing trapeze? Would it change their qualifications? No. If anything, it would make them more approachable.

Embrace your unique-self and make your own contribution by being proud of who you are and what you do. It will serve those coming after you.

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Posing: a powerful tool to build self-confidence

Hello lovely reader! Today we want to talk to you about posing (during a photoshoot but also in your everyday life). As boudoir photographers we had to write a blog on that topic! We know a lot of peeps feel awkward in front of a camera so the idea of posing can be nerve-wracking. But keep reading because today’s blog is gonna help you feel more confident and this is something we all need from time to time 😎

Shoulders down, boobs up!

Self-confidence is a vital aspect of our overall well-being. It not only influences our choices, actions, and interactions with others, but also shapes how we perceive ourselves. When you look online to get some advice on how to become more confident, you can find a lot of ideas that contribute toward that goal. But there is one element that is often overlooked: the way we pose our bodies.

The way we position our bodies and present ourselves physically significantly impacts how we feel about ourselves. In fact, studies have shown that adopting certain poses can have a direct influence on our level of confidence.

MAKING YOURSELF SMALL VS POWER POSING:

If you consistently adopt closed-off poses, with crossed arms or slouched posture, you communicate to your brain that you are shrinking and feeling vulnerable. These poses can reinforce negative self-perceptions and inhibit your confidence. When you physically appear small, your minds mirror this with feelings of insignificance and insecurity.

On the other hand, when you strike a pose that exudes power and openness, your brain responds by releasing hormones associated with confidence and dominance. This phenomenon is known as the famous "power posing." By expanding your body and taking up space, you send signals to your brain that you are in a position of strength, empowerment, and self-assurance. Which leads to more success and better outcomes in various aspects of your life. We don’t know for you but we take that over the previous point 💪.

Son next time you go outside, think about that! Put on one of your favourite outfits and walk in the street like you own it. You’ll see how powerful it makes you feel!

Boudoir photography is your best ally

Posing also plays a significant role in your body image. Many people struggle with accepting and embracing themselves the way they are, so by intentionally posing in ways that highlight your beautifully natural body, you can boost your self-love. This is when boudoir photography comes in!

When you do a boudoir shoot you are not only getting pretty pictures of yourself. You are doing an experience with long lasting results that helps you reclaim your self-worth and celebrate everything that makes you YOU (yes, your body included!). During the shoot, your photographer will help you pose accordingly to your body type and the vibe you want to create so you can see yourself the way you never did before!

Of course receiving your photographs is the icing on the cake and act as a great reminder on how gorgeous and badass you look! Plus it shows how courageous you were to try a not-so-easy experience (not everyone can “strip down” in front of a stranger and have their pictures taken) 💛

Since confidence comes from within and is developed through a combination of self-acceptance, self-care, and personal growth, improving your posture alone will not magically make you the most confident person in the world. But being aware of how you hold yourself is a valuable tool to include in your self-confidence journey!

If it is not done already, we would love to have you join our community and stay in the loop for more empowering content. The simplest way is to sign up to our weekly newsletter below 😘

The time we stopped dreaming big

Wanting to start your business usually means to have some dreams. Even more so when you are a creative as it is very likely you are linking your passion and your job together. That's what we did 7 years ago when we opened Scandaleuse. We had a plan, our heads were filled with dreams bigger than us. While we have accomplished some, we realized not too long ago that we unconsciously gave up on many in the process.

How the hell did it happen to begin with?

1) The pandemic.

This is definitely the biggest reason of it all. Everybody's world went upside down, and like many other businesses, we saw our work possibilities crumble and our future extremely uncertain.

The pandemic made us enter a survival mode: we couldn't actually work and we didn't know for how long. Once we got slightly out of it, starting to work some bigger dreams was completely out of the question: we had to recover from our losses and we had to do it fast. On top of it all, it's also left us with the reality that nothing is really that stable, and that's the perfect recipe to develop self-doubt.

2) Our ideas weren't doable to way we wanted to initially.

Back in the day, many of our big ideas were a lot more accessible. For example, getting a studio on our own was not that out of reach with the growth we have been having pre-pandemic. Since the inflation entered the chat, this idea started crawling away and instead of reshaping it and adapt it, we labeled it as "impossible” in our brain and we… ignored it. Until some feelings started creeping in…

The consequences on our well-being

It is pretty safe to assume that, if you don't work towards something bigger and more exciting than what you are currently doing, your mental health takes a hit.

Our productivity, our drive, our creativity and even the confidence in our ability went down. We were stagnating in our growth. But the worst was this small feeling of emptiness settling in our minds without us noticing. Then it grew bigger and bigger, leading us through one existential crisis after the other. What are we building and where are we going were the 2 key questions floating around. At some point, we had to face the fact: we just didn't allow ourselves to dream anymore and it needed to change.

How we got out of it: the mindset shift

The first step was to acknowledge and make peace with the reasons stated above. Then, we had to understand that we were thinking about some ideas backwards. The biggest one being that we needed to reach a certain amount of cash flow before executing bigger projects. Of course, you need to, to a certain extent, but the reasons above made us forget that you also need to invest money and take risks to… make money.

We also starting talking to our closest friends and loved ones. While we expected to have to deal with discouraging comments - mostly because we were giving them to ourselves - we were pleasantly surprised to hear than everybody was excited and positive. Even better, they gave us some options we didn't even think of.

Slowly, the fear barometer lowered and the confidence one increased. And the butterflies in our stomach have started to come back.

Now what?

We have decided to work on getting a proper space for Scandaleuse. It is truly outside of our comfort zone, but the feeling of excitement it gives us makes it worth it already. While it probably won’t be easy, we have no doubt that we will have a beautiful space ready to welcome all of you and host many more projects we have had in mind for years.

It is such a nice feeling to let yourself daydream about what you can do and we are strong believers in the fact that it is going to unblock some dormant energies we haven't seen in a while…

Thank you for following us in our entreprenarial journey. We cannot wait to share more with you!

Feel free to join our newsletter to keep yourself in the loop for our next adventures, we have a feeling we will have many to share with you!

Let's talk about consent!

Guest post by Eden Wine - Mindset Consultant

 With the advent of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” era, we must learn the nuances of “Consent” so we can best equip ourselves to effectively navigate our relationships.

It’s time to create a clear definition of what consent means to us, and it’s important to:

• understand our rights when it comes to giving and receiving consent;

• solidify our true introspective understanding of our personal boundaries; and

• learn about and respect how to best support other people’s boundaries. 

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOUR BOUNDARIES TO BE CROSSED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLEASing OTHERS OR IN THE ATTEMPT OF “FEELING BEAUTIFUL”? WELL I HAVE.

When I was 14, I suddenly became well endowed in the derriere department. Now, given the location of this development, I was completely unaware of its existence. I only came to know about my “ass-et” because of my male peers. When walking down the hallway of my high school, adorned in a school uniform, I was consistently greeted by unsolicited slaps, grabs, and fondles. I wasn’t even able to acknowledge this new part of my body before it was claimed by others and objectified. Since this was one of the first experiences I had in my developing body, I was trained to think that this behaviour was acceptable.

As a young teen, I was quickly learning that it was okay for me to be caressed without consent. This, however, is not true.

We, as humans, have exclusive rights to our own bodies.

It is our fundamental obligation to define boundaries for ourselves and to feel comfortable and assured when voicing such boundaries. We are not owned by anyone and no one is entitled to us or any part of us. In fact, the right we have to our own bodies is grounded in and protected by law.

HOW ARE OUR RIGHTS PROTECTED?

The Constitutions and Criminal Codes of many (if not most) developed countries have specific and designated laws that are geared towards protecting the sanctity of consent. Now, I’m no expert in the laws of the world at large, but I know Canada very carefully preserves the notion of consent into its legislation and case law. For example, section 273.1(1) of the Canadian Criminal Code dictates that sexual activity is ONLY legal when both parties consent and where “voluntary agreement” is obtained. Both parties means BOTH parties. In fact, the “two to tango” phraseology has never been more apropos. Sure, there will be nuances in courting and dating when flirting plays a role though subliminal and subtle body language, but that does not dismiss the importance of ensuring that BOTH parties are consenting and, even more than that, consenting the WHOLE time. 

LET’S THINK ABOUT AND DEFINE OUR BOUNDARIES AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S BOUNDARIES TOO! #PlatinumRule 

Consent is truly grounding yourself in your beliefs and saying “yes” when an activity  (any activity really) feels right without a shadow of a doubt. This could apply to any sexual encounter or even as something as simple as a hug.

For all people alike, the onus is on us to:

• know and learn our boundaries;

• feel secure and confident in our ability to voice our boundaries; and,

• to inquire and respect other people’s boundaries. In the end, it is each of us who have exclusive rights to our own person and it is our obligation to protect such rights with the entirety of our being.

DISCLAIMER

Eden Wine is presently a non-practicing lawyer. She was called to the Ontario Bar in June 2018 and has since been a member of the Law Society of Ontario.

The content of this article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or other professional advice or an opinion of any kind. Readers of this article are advised to seek specific legal advice by contacting independent legal counsel regarding any specific legal issues. Neither the author, nor Scandaleuse Photography warrant or guarantee the quality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this article or on Scandaleuse Photography’s website. The content of this article is current as of the original date of publication, and should not be relied upon as accurate, timely, or fit for any particular purpose.

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