You should have a picture of yourself naked

Since the beginning of time, there has been this curiosity around illustrating the naked body. Painting, photography, sculpture (any kind of art, truly)!. And it is because bodies are beautifully fascinating. Yes, even yours! And it is definitely worth capturing it, one way or another.

Hold on though, we are not talking about slamming it on a billboard for everyone to see, we are talking about the act of posing naked, the power behind it and the wonderful memento you get to have out of it.

So why should you want a badass naked photo of yourself?

Because you never get the chance to see your full body, nude, from a distance, and even from the back. 

That's a pretty simple answer, but, oh, so true. You can only see your body from your point of view and the odd (and not always flattering!!) photo taken by someone else. You also rarely see your full body and you definitely don't see the back of it much. 

Having a well-done photo of your naked self taken gives you the chance to see your body with an entire different perspective. It brings objectivity to the table which is a powerful tool in itself to take down body insecurities and work on potential body-dysmorphia. It helps you realize that, no, your vision is definitely different from what you thought and might even be inaccurate. 

Because you are turning vulnerability into power. 

Being fully naked, without anything to hide you is one of the most vulnerable states you could be in. This is the real you. When you decide to step into this, you are becoming one with your vulnerability and are turning it into power.

You are taking on the challenge and showing up for yourself and that, my friend, is the ultimate confidence token you could give yourself. 

Because you are going against the grain

Posing naked can truly satisfy your inner rebel. It is still to this day considered "frowned upon", "not proper", or even "shameful". When you decide to do it anyway, this feeling of showing your middle finger to all of those judgments is so empowering and liberating. And this has an impact on everything you touch afterwards: you won't let shit stand in your way as easily, scout's honour!

Because it's a way to own your body and honour it.

If you have spent a good chunk of your life deprecating your body, the best treatment would be to get a naked image of yourself taken. This is a way to bring back objectivity and detachment in how you see yourself. To bring clarity to a cloudy vision. 

If your body has changed a lot over the years, whether it was planned or not, this experience is the perfect opportunity to reclaim your self-image and get acquainted with this "new"  body of yours. 

And because Moira Rose says it best…

Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now.

There you have it. If the idea of owning a photo of yourself naked has been tickling you for a while, give yourself this chance. Don't chalk it off to a "superficial" experience, it isn't. Its effects will linger, provoke some necessary changes within you and give you the push you were looking for to achieve what you want.

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How boudoir shoots increased our confidence on every level

Since we opened Scandaleuse, both of us have been posing in boudoir settings for many reasons. To know what it actually feels like, to have content to share with our community, to be creative… But we often forget to talk about how it actually changed us too. There is definitely a before boudoir and after boudoir, even for us.

The expectations VS reality of boudoir.

Boudoir is usually thought as something you do for someone, likely a partner. People get in the mindset that they have to illustrate somebody else's fantasy, only to benefit them. We don't agree with that.

Boudoir should be done for yourself first. It's a way to get quality time with yourself, reclaim your body, see it in a new light. It's a chance to just exist without judgement and expectations. And it comes with long lasting effects you wouldn't know until you try. Even ourselves didn't know that before stepping in front of the lens. We have now been posing for 5 years and can confidently share all of the beautiful changes boudoir have done for us.

The given: we feel beautiful.

There is a lot of power behind feeling beautiful. A new energy emanates out of you, everything around you just feels lighter. It already feels wonderful in a regular setting but imagine feeling beautiful without your clothes on, which we aren't told to even think about. Now that's unlocking the next level of feel good vibes for sure!

The removal of negative body vision.

Rare are the ones who can tell they absolutely love their bodies. And who can blame us? We grow up naturally comparing ourselves to others and to beauty standards shaped by society. When something is not considered “beautiful", we are told to either hide it or to work hard to improve it. It is very easy to end up with a very negative vision of our appearance that follows us for years. For many of us, it even turns into body-dysmorphia.

Seeing our bodies repeatedly on photos without clothes on showed us what our bodies actually look like, and that is far away from what the crappy vision we had.

Don't get us wrong, it was scary at first, even for us. But what a slap in the face it was to see our bodies in an objective light. Turns out our "flaws” were not that flawed.

We are not afraid of our "sexy” sides anymore.

If you were to ask us 10 years ago if we thought we were sexy, we would have awkwardly laughed and say absolutely not. It was just inconceivable to even think it. Another prejudice we deal with: wanting to feel sexy, while being completely natural, is "wrong” so we just avoid it.

Doing boudoir photoshoots showed us that:

1. Feeling sexy comes in many many ways, very few of them are even being related to sex and none of them are related to pleasing someone else.

2. There is SO much power behind this feeling. Looking at our boudoir photos make us feel strong and badass as hell.

3. We had been severely missing out on it.

Deconstructing the shame around something leads to turning it into confidence. And that works for anything.

What about the impact on the confidence then?

Tapping into all of these points has led us to a pretty rock solid confidence in ways we didn't even imagine:

• Reclaiming our bodies made us shut down the negative voices of our surroundings and instead focus on what WE feel good in and show it.

• Boudoir has successfully and positively forced us out of our comfort zone. This made it a lot less scary to try other experiences like that we didn't think we would ever try.

• Doing something that is considered shameful or frown upon by many and, again, ending up having a wonderful outcome has not only removed a lot of our fears but also comforted us in all of our choices afterwards. Even when people disagreed, even if it was unconventional. We just realized we were a lot strong than we thought.

After all, isn't confidence about having a "no fucks given” energy?

We went from shy, insecure beings to free, empowered and proudly sensual women. To this day, we use our boudoir shoot as reminders when we feel down or discouraged. These versions of ourselves were always there, they were just quiet and hard to uncover. Now, we hold on to them tight and cherish them.

And you should too. Set yours free and let it shine.

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The social aspect of boudoir photography

Juliette and I have never been part of those people who work only for money and security. We need our work to follow our personal values, and we want to contribute to make positive changes in our society. We are not saying we are changing the world but on our level we are creating positive impacts in our clients’ life, and we try as much as possible to spread awareness on social issues we care about.

Boudoir photography is our way to do so!

Such a transformative experience

When we opened Scandaleuse Photography 6 years ago, we wanted to showcase the beauty of the woman body in an artistic way. We build a community and stayed in touch with our Scandals. We were amazed to hear and read what our past clients were saying about their experience with us and how transformative the shoots were for them. Some of them told us they ended up toxic relationships, others quitted their job they did not like anymore… Witnessing those people changing their life because posing half naked in front of our lenses gave them the courage to do so, is a true honour for us and it gives us a feeling of purpose.

If you never try boudoir photography, it might be difficult to understand how a shoot can help someone feel more confident in their life to a point where it makes drastic changes. Let us explain:

Boudoir photography is not like any other type of photography (at least, the way we do it). It is rare to meet people who feel 100% confident in their own skin and who accept their body fully the way it is. Most of our clients are first timers, and the idea of posing in lingerie (or naked) in front of photographers can be nerve wracking for them. It takes a lot of courage to make yourself vulnerable and try something new that makes you feel nervous. So when you finally do a boudoir shoot, feel good showing your body in front of people you don’t know, and find yourself beautiful in those pictures, this experience gives you the wings to keep pushing yourself to do other scary things.

We like to stay that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you 🔥.

People’s backgrounds & stories

Being boudoir photographers also gives us the chance to meet incredible people who are going through tough times in their life.

Some of our clients were in abusive relationships that completely destroyed them and they were looking for ways to build back their confidence and reappropriate their body. We work with transgender people who are fighting to exist in the gender they wished they were born with, when society doesn’t make it easy for them. We had clients who are dealing with breast cancer and wanted to immortalise their body before it changes. Few years ago we took pictures of a woman who was in a wheelchair, and wanted to celebrate herself and showcase that even if you are disable you are still a sensual human being.

Listening to so many life stories and seeing our clients fighting so many battles makes our work as boudoir photographers reach another level that we truly love. It is not about just taking beautiful pictures but helping people feel amazing about themselves.

This social side of boudoir photography makes our boudoir photography business so important to us, and we cannot wait to see where it will take us!

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Hiding VS Showing your "flaws" during a photoshoot

Scars, stretch marks, loose skin… we all have parts of our bodies that make us feel insecure. In our everyday life, we are surrounded by tips on how to hide them. In the media, whatever is not considered good enough to match the current beauty standards has a solid chance of getting photoshopped. Long story short, we are constantly told that if a part of our body isn't “right”, we have to change it.

But how does it work in the boudoir world, when you have less clothes on? Do you face your fears or do you work ever harder to hide the body parts that bother you?

The ultimate reason for a boudoir photoshoot: gaining confidence.

After years in the industry, we can say with certainty that there are way more people wanting to do a boudoir photoshoot for themselves, to learn to feel comfortable in their own skin than people who want to do it solely for a partner. After all, posing with minimum coverage or even nude is a challenge, that comes with high rewards, but a challenge nonetheless. So, theoretically, to get the most of your boudoir session, you should approach it with the goal of letting go of your insecurities and just embrace them. Except it is not easy for everyone, and it shouldn't be forced.

Can you do a boudoir session without showing anything that makes you worried?

Yes, and it doesn't mean you are "doing boudoir wrong". For many of us, the act of signing up for more revealing photos is already a huge step towards increasing your self-confidence. You don't need to add pressure on yourself to go all out and show it all if you don't feel like it. After all, some people can learn how to swim by getting thrown in the ocean, others need to dip their toes in first before exploring, and that's very much okay. You will still get wonderful photographs and a great experience.

If you feel like this would be you, definitely focus on finding outfits that make you feel your best while hiding whatever you want to hide. For example, the majority of women that come to us tend to be insecure about their stomachs. In this case, we suggest getting high waisted panties, bodysuits or other kind of cover-ups like open blouses or cute loose t-shirts. Focus then on the parts of yourself you do like and want to showcase.

Also, the biggest part that makes the right photoshoot is the photographer. The right photographer will teach you poses and shoot in a certain way to take away the focus from your insecurities and accentuate the parts of yourself you do like.

For some, showing your body insecurities is a great way to overcome them.

If you are feeling the itch of finally making peace with your body, going all out and showing what scares you the most could be extremely beneficial.

A professional boudoir shoot gives you the chance to see your body in a new light. We rarely get to see our whole body from another perspective. We see it more often than not in unflattering light, and tend to pay attention to it only when we are not feeling our best.

Being posed beautifully, with the right ambiance and the right lighting goes a long way in body-acceptance. Based on our experience when our clients see their photos, chances are you won't even notice the "flaws” that bothered you before signing up because you will be so in awe by the whole you. You will see that whatever caused you so much worry is actually not bad at all, quite the opposite! It is the ultimate way to give yourself a break and recalibrate the vision your had of yourself on the positive!

On a side note: avoid photographers that edit bodies shapes and do extreme skin edits. What is the point of challenging yourself by showing more of you if it is to get it edited post-session in ways that don't look like you? The goal is to bring some appreciation of our "flaws", not digitally "fix them".

So, should I hide or should I show my "flaws”?

While we would love to tell you to go full nude because it is so incredibly empowering, we also want to be realistic because, even for ourselves, there are many days when posing nude feels completely out of the question due to many factors. The best answer is then: do both.

Start with the outfits that covers you most. Remove some layers bit by bit until you reached your maximum level of comfort. Maybe, after getting comfortable in your session, you will even feel confident enough to pose semi or full nude, but maybe not and that's great too! Just enjoy each step and see what happens.

A boudoir photoshoot is usually outside of everyone's comfort zone, but, while it is empowering as hell, it should still feel safe. It should reflect who you are, and capture what makes YOU feel beautiful, in your own way. Don't hesitate to make your photoshoot your own, with your favourite looks and props, and enjoy the ride!

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5 reasons to do a boudoir shoot you wouldn't think of.

Many traditional reasons come to mind when thinking of doing a boudoir session. Offering the photos as a gift for a special someone, celebrating a milestone, challenging yourself in lingerie… All of these are very valid reasons, but today, we wanted to share extra ones you may have never thought of.

1) Getting to see yourself as Art.

Let's be honest, getting images of yourself you are in love with is hard. We are definitely our worst critique, and are not shy to talk down to ourselves. When we do find said photo, it becomes the only one we refer to when needed.

While you should get some photos you like during a professional photoshoot, we think a boudoir photography session - when done properly and with the right photographers 😉 - gives you way more than that.

You are dealing with actual artists. People who will see beyond your physical appearance, who won't even notice anything you are insecure about and will create a whole concept, light, set around who you are to, finally, translate it all in actual art pieces. When done right, you will end up with images you will want to stare at forever.

2) The long lasting effect on your confidence

One of the biggest reason to do a boudoir shoot is to increase your confidence. But what people don't know is that this confident boost is not showing only during the photoshoot: it sticks with you for a long time afterwards.

The confidence brought out during a boudoir photoshoot will shine on many other areas of your life. You will stand taller. You will dare to do more things, take more room, make bigger decisions. It replenishes your self-trust, and god knows we can all use a layer of that.

3) Bringing light on sides of yourself that don't get to shine often

Between adapting ourselves to others, fighting our own insecurities, dealing with beauty standards, not daring to wear what we want, our brains are polluted with restrictions we apply to ourselves. During a boudoir shoot, you can just let go of all of these and have fun exploring and bringing out those sides of yourself.

Feeling like wearing a sexy cocktail dress while holding a glass of whisky despite living your every day life in corporate outfits? Go for it. Do you want to wear a victorian tulle robe just for the hell of it? Yes please. What about that badass harness you would never dare wearing in public? Bring it.

A boudoir photoshoot is a judgement free zone. If anything, it is encouraged to be creative and more importantly: be extra.

Give yourself a chance to be sensual, to try different looks and illustrate the different facets of your personality!

4) For fun and quality time with yourself.

Since boudoir can feel vulnerable and intimidating, it is very easy to forget that it is actually fun. For a couple of hours, no one is asking anything from you besides just letting loose, and that's REFRESHING.

5) Help a great cause

Last but definitely not least: you can actually make a difference in a specific cause, by picking a specific photographer.

We have the best example to give you at the moment: for the whole month of October, we are giving 10% off our session fee and donating a portion of the proceeds to the Pink Ribbon Boutique, a store that specializes in prosthetics and lingerie for breast cancer survivors.

If you were looking for one last push before booking a shoot for yourself, know that you can help a breast cancer survivor purchase a prosthetic with your booking.

Follow this link for details or click on the button below!

Why you should challenge yourself with lingerie photos

Boudoir photography is definitively an art, a beautiful way to use light, framing and background composition to highlight the human body. But it also has a very much underestimated therapeutic purpose. Most of the people who finally dare to book their boudoir shoot are usually looking for more than a regular portrait session.

Seeing your body, for real.

When was the last time you actually looked at yourself naked or even in your underwear? And I mean, reaaaally look at yourself, not a quick glimpse before hopping in the shower? Rare are the people actually doing it, us included.

The human body, especially the woman one, is taboo. Nobody at school teaches us to truly love ourselves the way we are. If anything, we are taught to hide it and, in the worst cases, to be ashamed of it. Only a minority of people know every inch of their body even for the parts that are the most intimate.

On top of that, we focus so much on its physical aspect that we tend to forget our bodies are shells that actually makes us human beings to begin with. And that is something to cherish and treat well.

Being able to see your body from different angles, posed beautifully in a stunning environment, surrounded by a warm light is a rare opportunity you shouldn't pass on. Hell, even from the back, because seriously, we never get to see ourselves from the back!

It is not just about getting pretty photos.

Treating yourself to a boudoir adventure will take you out of your comfort zone, while still being in a safe environment. You can experiment something quite vulnerable in an intimate setting, which gives you the chance to fully let go and reap the benefits for your mind but also your attitude.

There is a visible before and after a boudoir session, mostly due to posture. This may sound frivolous but our posture truly says a lot about how we are feeling and the image we give to the world. For example, people tend to start their session curled up, shoulders down, trying to take the least space possible. By the end of it, they've learn to stand straighter, taller and own the room they're in. Even breathing feels easier. This translates into pure confidence inside and out and it sticks with you.

Because you managed to push yourself through something new, faced some fears and you succeeded, this freshly unlocked confidence spreads on everything around you too.

We are not saying that based on our own beliefs. We are saying it because you shared your stories with us. Many of you made substantial life changes following their boudoir experience: they went for a better job, a new challenge, ended toxic relationships… They move forward on things that used to terrify them.

And then the magic happens…

The hardest part is officially booking. Once it is in motion, your “f*ck it” attitude will take over and the fun stuff officially begins.

You can go shopping for new lingerie or dust off some outfits you love and never had the occasion to wear. You can brainstorm makeup & hair ideas with our makeup artist. You can gather inspiration online and let your imagination run wild to see which versions of yourself you will truly embody.

Then you go with the flow. You will see that the shoot jitters will pass within 10 minutes in your session. Before you know it, you would have rocked so many of your looks and vibes, that you don't even have time to ask yourself if you're good enough and let your insecurities get in the way. And we all know how nice it is when we can shut those nasty inner voices full of self-doubt!

The big finale: your photo results.

Now that you've completed the experience and connected with the badass you are, it's time you get the concrete proof by seeing your photos! It's with a heart racing that you will sit in front of our screen, in front of yourself, (re)discovering this version of you that was here all along but didn't get to shine as much as it should.

Your photos are a keepsake of it all, an anchor when you feel like you lost touch with this version of yourself. The pride you will feel looking at them is indescribable.

Now, the real question is: are you ready to start your boudoir journey?

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Breast Massage For Sexual Healing And Getting Your Libido Back

The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.

If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.

I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…

Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.

It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.

But what about the breasts?

What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?

What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?

Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).

I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.

They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!

Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.

Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.

Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.

So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!

How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?

Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.

Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.

The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:

"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”

"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”

Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.

These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.

Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.

Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...

Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...

…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!

1. Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.

2. Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.

3. Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.

4. Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.

5. With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.

6. Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.

7. Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.

8. As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.

9. Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.

10. As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.

11. After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!

What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?

If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...

May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!

Helpful tools

You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.

If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.

The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.

I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.

In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.

When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.

And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).

In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!

Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..

Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.

Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!

- Katrin, with Love

---

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..

As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters

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The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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The importance of having a feminine circle

Have you ever felt completely like you are living your life on auto-pilot, in your routine and juggling various responsibilities? Then, a little mind lightbulb goes off to remind you that hey, it's been a while since you have done something for yourself, outside of your regular circle?

This makes it very easy to forget about our sensuality and femininity, leaving us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. This is when having a circle of like-minded women can help us stay grounded, connected and more importantly: supported. I need it, you need it, everybody needs it and here is why.

A space for self-expression and exploration

Saying that societal pressures has zero influence of us conforming to certain standards of femininity and beauty would be a total lie.

Saying that this never leaves us feeling like garbage would be an even bigger lie.

Stepping out of these leads to a better appreciation of ourselves on many levels but -god damn- it is hard and takes time. But it can be sped up with the right tools. Having the right feminine circle can provide a safe space for us to express ourselves authentically and explore our sensuality without judgment. It's a powerful bubble of fresh air that helps us embrace ourselves the way we deserve and celebrate our femininity. Who wouldn't want that?!

A source of empowerment and inspiration

Imagine having a bunch of hype women in your corner, ready to cheer you on on anything you wish to achieve. Imagine being a hype woman for somebody else who needs it. All the good vibes!

When we surround ourselves with strong, confident, and empowered women, we can't help but be inspired to be the best versions of ourselves. A solid feminine circle provides us with role models, mentors, and friends who motivate us to pursue our passions, take risks, and make our dreams a reality. Additionally, when we see other women succeeding and thriving, it reminds us that we, too, are capable of achieving wonderful things.

A support system to navigate through life

Life can be unpredictable, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed and alone at times.

Whether it's a breakup, a job loss, or a health scare, having a group of supportive women who understand and empathize brings a whole lot of comfort during life's challenges. When we share our struggles with others, not only do we feel less alone, but we also gain new perspectives and insights that can help us overcome our challenges. Let's prioritize building and nurturing our feminine circles, and watch as our lives transform for the better.

Do you want your circle? Join the Scandaleuse Sorority!

If what you read spoke to you and you are located in the GTA, we have great news for you! We are launching the Scandaleuse Sorority, a free space for women and femme-presenting people to make meaningful connections through events and workshops, boost your confidence and reconnect with your sensuality!

You can join it for free by clicking on the button below. Can't wait to see you there!

The Revenge Boudoir: reclaiming your body and worth after a break-up

As boudoir photographers, people have come to us with very different reasons for wanting to do a boudoir shoot. While many people may think the main reasons would be to do it for a partner, this is probably the last reason we get, quite the opposite. Lately, we've noticed a particular increase of what we can call the “f… you” boudoir: when you feel lost, hurt and even angry after a relationship ending and you need an outlet.

And we are here for it!

Why the hell not?

Break-ups can be tough and devastating, especially when you have invested your time, energy, and trust into a relationship. It can leave you with a shattered confidence, feeling completely disconnected from yourself, and struggling with your body and looks.

Now, you could wallow in self-pity, hurt yourself even more or seek revenge in unhealthy ways. Or… you could channel this energy and put it towards building yourself back up and bring some self-love back. A boudoir shoot, if done the right way, is absolutely going to be a trusty ally in this process.

A boudoir shoot will help you see yourself in a new light and appreciate your beauty and strength, from your own eyes first instead of somebody else's.

You know, those feelings that are an absolute must when you need to heal from parting ways with somebody and become your own friend again.

Reclaim your power, bring sexy back and trust yourself again.

Usually, after a break-up, you get on an emotional roller-coaster, stuck in analyzing everything that went wrong, and severely doubting yourself in the process. In the worst cases, you are left feeling completely unworthy and feeling as sexy as a broomstick.

Again, you could let yourself fall into this and feel like nobody will love you and let yourself believe you are indeed, as sexy as a broomstick, OR, you can decide that, hell no, you definitely don't deserve to feel this way (really, you don't.)

A boudoir shoot is a wonderful way to take control of your body, your image, and your narrative. It makes you ask yourself what makes YOU feel sexy and beautiful, no matter what it is, instead on focusing on what is a turn-on for your partner. It may be buried somewhere deep, but it is there, you just have to let it shine a little. With the right professionals (like us ;)), we will help you dig it out and be the hype women you need to express it all loud and proud.

The actual revenge feeling: showing what they are missing.

Okay, okay, this one shouldn't be the best motivation, and you should not base your self-worth on your ex's reaction, but let's be honest, we are human and it can be quite satisfying to get some powerful and badass photos of yourself and just imagine what your former partner is missing out on.

The photos of a boudoir shoot - should you choose to share them - can definitely send a pretty strong message that you are moving on and that you cannot be hold back or controlled. You are showing that you are not defined by anybody else's opinion or actions, and that you have the power to celebrate and showcase your beauty and sensuality on your own terms.

This can be a powerful way to regain your self-worth and remind yourself that you are not to be mistreated.

At the end of the day, the main reason to do a boudoir shoot is to regain confidence. It doesn't matter if it is anger or sadness that brought you in front of our lens. What matters is that you made it and you chose to put yourself first and use a powerful tool to, simply, start healing. Everybody deserves to feel sensual and beautiful. A boudoir shoot with help you celebrate your beauty and move on from a negative experience with grace and self-assurance.

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Should I keep my pictures private?

A lot of people are hesitant about doing a boudoir shoot because they do not really know how they will be using their pictures. Some can't imagine sharing them and the idea of other people seeing their photographs is sailing away the boudoir shoot boat, no matter how bad they want to try it..

Online sharing or not online sharing

If there is one main takeaway from this blog post, it is this: the choice of posting your photos online is yours and only yours. Not your partner. Not your family. Not your friends. Just yours. If it makes you feel good and safe to share them, just go ahead. On the other hand, if your desire is to keep those pictures private, then it is your right, no question asked.

That being said, we do encourage sharing your pictures with at least your loved ones and here is why:

Because you are also a source of inspiration to the people close to you.

You might think that only those massive influencers have an impact online, but we all get even more impacted by the people from our intimate circle. If someone we know does something we find inspiring, it will definitely make a long-lasting impression on us.

With your photos, you have the opportunity to inspire your loved ones, near or far. And we are not just talking about boudoir! Your showing that you've done something outside of your comfort zone will likely spark a fire for someone else to do the same.

It works with strangers too. If you only knew the amount of new Scandals who told us the reason they reached out was because they saw someone they could relate to on our page. How does it feel to be someone else's muse?! 

Breaking the code of unachievable beauty standards.

It's no secret that the media constantly promotes unachievable beauty standards. Even though we have seen some improvement, there is still a long way to go, and many more people left feeling like absolute garbage when staring at themselves in front of the mirror.

By sharing your photos, you are sharing what a body is really like. With the skin details, the little rolls, the curves, the bumps. THIS is how we break the mold. The more we can identify with who they see in the media, the less shame and pressure we will feel. And if we wait for the media to fix this for us, we are going to be here a while. The ball is in our court!

Being proud of yourself.

Hey, you did something outside the box, something many people would never dare to do. You left feeling great about yourself and ready to get familiar with this freshly discovered confidence. It is an achievement, and sharing achievements feels good. Toot your own horn for a minute (or two)!

The satisfaction of going against the grain.

This is more personal gain, but we can all agree that one of the best feelings ever is to be a bit rebellious. Yes, you know what we mean! Doing something that's generally frown upon for no reason at all…. It is so damn liberating and it leaves us wanting more. Just give yourself that satisfaction already!

Never forget that You can be a beautiful source of inspiration to someone you wouldn't expect and that you can provoke changes, even if it is just in your immediate surroundings.

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Why the French cliches make boudoir “à la française” super badass

A few months ago, we had a little realization: our boudoir style is very French. Naturally, since we are both from France to begin with, this was completely unconscious until we noticed we were saying quite often: “you look very French" to our lovely clients.

It got us thinking: besides our nationality, why do we gravitate towards this specific style and more importantly, why do we want you to try it so bad? Allow us to share our personal opinions on the matter…

A naked body is… just a naked body.

Don't get us wrong, we also deal with many unachievable beauty standards and body shaming. But the perception of nudity is different.

Since the beginning of time, nudity in France hasn't always been associated with sexuality, like it tends to be in North America. From the various art mouvements picturing a lot of nudity (looking at you, Renaissance!), to seeing our own mothers sunbathing topless on the beach, we just didn't ask ourselves if it was okay or not: it just was.

In our opinion, having this mentality definitely contributed to…

The "no f*cks given” attitude.

It is pretty known that the French have an unapologetic attitude. We consider it very accurate and this translate nicely in boudoir, as it becomes the perfect opportunity to make a statement and create a paradox: for example, we tend to have photos looking straight at the camera, doing nonchalant poses like you have not a care in the world while being in a vulnerable context, wearing outfits that would be frown upon in many ways. This rebelliousness is something we want to get you to try during a session, because it feels so damn good.

For a moment, you are breaking the codes in a world we are constantly told to follow them.

It's easier to conceptualize doing something for yourself.

French people are known to be individualistic, and once again, we tend to agree. Of course, it can come with a negative side such as selfishness, but on the other end, it is more normal doing something for yourself because you want to. Many women we work with in Canada haven't taken that chance to create some quality time with themselves in years. Many of them think they don't even deserve it. Giving them the chance to do it through our work is one of our favourite reasons why we shoot boudoir.

It is also why we say every single day that a boudoir shoot is for yourself first and not a partner. And to let you in on a little confidence: the rare times we get an inquiry that states that the shoot is solely for a boyfriend or husband, they fall through!

The French Fashion

The french fashion is not afraid to play with the codes and this is another very strong asset that bleeds into boudoir very easily. Why? Because it makes you stay away from the traditional boudoir outfits. Funny enough, lingerie is French to begin with, but yet, the French are so versatile in style that lingerie is not the main outfit during our sessions.

Playing with feminine and masculine outfits is also extremely common, which makes it even more interesting for artists: there are no limits.

There you have it: french clichés definitely work in our favor for boudoir and we should all take advantage of that.

Use them to feel strong, powerful, beautiful. To let go, to play, even if it is just for a moment. You will see how liberating that can be and you will ask for more. Oh and of course: free the nipple 😉.

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What does "empowerment" even mean?

Haaa “Empowerment”. THE buzzword we've seen everywhere for the past few years. “Women empowering women”, “empower yourself” , “get empowered”… It is such a pretty word with such a badass connotation. Yet, many of us aren’t even sure of what it actually means. Let's dive in, shall we?

First of, let's get the actual definition:

“Empowerment is the authority or power given to someone to do something."
- Oxford Dictionary

That something being positive for yourself and others. Whether it is a new dream, a new goal, a new creation of some sort…

But wait, does this means that to get empowered, it has to come from somewhere else other than yourself? Theoratically, yes.

First, well, that's why we are here. 😉
Second, yes, you can be empowered by someone else, and yourself can empower someone.

While, technically, you don't need permission, validation, or encouragement to do anything for yourself, many of us feel that need. This is very often labelled as negative. And it could be, if everything you want to do depends on it.

But if not, so what if you need an extra boost from a loved one to make a jump towards something you’ve been wanting to do?

We all need outside support and it would be a shame to deny ourselves this option. If you have someone who has your best interest at heart, willing to empower you, at least, give it a listen. As we talked about in our post about the important of the female collective, we can only go so far alone. Especially considering how great empowerment feels.

How does it feel to be empowered?

To sum it up, it feels like you've received a huge boost of confidence and that you can move mountains likes they're grains of salt.

You feel like yourself, ready to tackle the world, bring your dreams to reality and you usually take more people along with you.

It is a beautiful feeling and you must have felt it one way or another at least once. Maybe when you achieved a goal you didn't think you could, or maybe when you caught your reflection in the mirror and went “damn, I look good!”. Take a moment to think about the last time you felt it, even if it was just a little spark.

💡 When was the last time you felt empowered?

Now, how do you get more of this? Does that mean you need to harass your loved ones so they can turn the switch on?

Well, good news, you don't have to!

Can I empower myself?

Absolutely. Self-empowerment is actually a must in order to build yourself and live your life the way you want. You can take charge of your own path and develop that rock solid confidence.

Your self-empowerment starter pack:

1) Remind yourself you know what is best for you.

At the end of the day, you are the person you spent the most time with and you know yourself better than anyone. If you are going through a moment of self-doubt and are getting lost in outside noise, take a breather and ask yourself what it is that you really want.

2) Learn to read between the lines of judgement.

Judgement is the worst obstacle to change. If we dare to share an idea with someone and that person go against it more or less subtlely, there is a good chance we would back out of it. Before you do, ask yourself if it is actually about you, or if that person is projecting their own insecurity on you. (Spoiler alert, in 99.9% of the time, that is what's going on when someone is judging you.)

3) Find your support system

You don't have a supportive family, friends or partners? Good news, there are other circles that can provide the support you need on many levels. (Ahem, again, us being one of them). Quick reminder while we are at it, just because some people are family doesn't mean they can't be toxic. Just leaving that here.

4) Empower someone else

This is the nicest snowball effect: when you do the empowering for someone, you will receive some back and/or will get inspired to take actions yourself. Really, try it.

5) Give yourself permission.

Create little moments for yourself when you let your mind go wild. No expectations, no money or skill issues, nobody stopping you. Think outside the box, day dream, meditate, journal, see what comes out. You could be surprised by how reachable some of those ideas can be.

There you have it. Now you can honestly say what empowerment is when you mention it and you know how to start digging to get your dose!

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