Toronto

You are who you surround yourself with

Wilferd Arlan Peterson once said: “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.

 
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Energies are contagious

Relationships are precious as belonging and feeling loved is one of the most important need for humans. We make room in our big hearts to welcome new people while we are still keeping old friends in, we give time to so many different personalities than sometimes on the road, we start feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Everyday we cross path with so many diverse people without realizing their energies affect us in different ways, wether they are positive or negative.

Did it ever happen to you that you were full of joy until someone with a negative vibe enter the room and steal that happiness away from you? Yet that person did not physically took it from you with her/his bare hand but it feels like it! Energies are contagious, so it can be really tiring for the mind to deal with negative ones.

Letting go of a relationship

They said who we surround ourselves with, we become… And they are right. Our life is too important to through away the opportunity of becoming who we want to be and having the life we deserve because we are making the mistake of spending time with people who don't share the same values or don't bring anything positive in our life. Fortunately we can take the decision to sort out our relationships, choose who we want to spend quality time with!

Last year we went to a workshop about femininity and the speaker said something I will always remember, she made us do an exercise that changed my all relationship: “Close your eyes, look at your life, think of all of the things you have accomplished and scanned them out. How do they make you feel?” I thought about Scandaleuse, my life in Canada, my family, my friends and my relationship with my partner at that time. All of them felt fantastic except for the last one. I felt sad, stressed, had knots in my stomach… it was at that moment I took the decision to stop that long term relationship I was in. He wasn't a bad guy and I was really in love but something wasn’t working anymore and love wasn't enough to fix it. So I had to take the hardest decision of my life and I don’t regret it.

 
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You need to know yourself first!

  • Visualize the life you want and find people who share the same values.

  • Listen to your guts and feel how people around you make you feel.

  • You feel something is wrong, identify the cause.

  • Talk to the person about how you feel.

  • Look for a solution but don't hesitate to check out if you feel like it.

It is such a difficult step but 100% needed if you feel that relationship is bringing you down, whether it comes from a good friend, a lover or a family member. When it comes to your feelings and happiness, you have the right to be selfish. It does not matter if the person is nice or depressed, if you are in love or staying because it is convenient, you cannot let the fear or guilt dictate your needs. It is time to think about how you want to feel!

 
 

Coffee Talk - Living far Away

A little bit more than 6 years ago, Juliette and I took the decision to leave France to move to another country. Canada was not the first choice but you guys know that already (if you don't, you can find the story on how we met, here for part one and here for part two). Even though living away from your home country can be difficult sometimes, it was the best decision we ever took!

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Why did we decide to change country?

We both knew for a long time we will not do our life in France as it never really felt like Home. Don't get us wrong, France is a beautiful country with a rich cultural heritage and a delicious cuisine. But the mentality is not the best. It is not in our culture to be welcoming or supportive with each others, especially in the business industry or between women. There are a lot of competition and jealousy.

Since our goal was to open a photography business, we also knew how difficult it was to do it in France as there are a lot of rules to follow for administration and the market for photography is really competitive. Launching Scandaleuse in Toronto was a piece of cake!

What did we learn since we moved away?

  • Living far away make you realize how much your family is important

The most difficult part is being far away from our families. We made the “selfish” choice to chase the life we want at the expense of not spending time with our loved ones and missing out precious moments. We all know the quote that says: “We don’t choose our family… blablabla” but we have the tendency to forget that family is important. It is really easy to forget because of the drama and tension present in every family… Sometimes you just need to walk away to realize how much you care and love them.

Every choices we make in life have consequences. Be aware of it but stick to your desires, trust your guts, make the choices for yourself and do not have regrets because at the end your family just wants you to be happy!

(What if they are not happy and don't understand?… Well this gives you an other good reason to be selfish)

 
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  • Living far away opens your mind

Being photographers give us the freedom to work and travel everywhere in the world. We believe travels feed your soul and warm up your heart but it is when you live in another country that your mind truly opens. You see the world with new eyes and don’t have other choice than getting out of your comfort zone if you want to adapt to that new culture. And since you are building new routines and put yourself out, you are more open to meet new people and extend your list of friends.

  • It takes a lot of courage

It might not seem like it but taking the action to live in another country is BALLZY! Moving away usually means starting from zero and learning a new language, new skills and a new culture. Not everyone has the luxury or the will to start over, so If you ever did it you should be very proud of yourself. If this is on your bucket list or you get the opportunity to try this experience then don't think twice, even if it is scary. Sometimes this is the little push you need to become the best version of yourself and live the life you want.

Now go live your life, whatever that means to you. For us, it was switching countries: Is Canada our Home? Yes. Do we regrets leaving France? No. So thank you Canadians for being so welcoming and humans, you make us wanna stay here a little bit longer ❤️

 
 



How shifting your mindset can change your life

We are strong believers that a positive mindset is the key to happiness, whatever that word means to you. You might not realize it but the way you think impact any decisions you make in your life. Our fears, hopes, beliefs, any emotions we feel, positive or negative, change drastically our perspectives.

It is in the human nature to look for happiness, but we often don’t know how to reach it. This results in feeling lost or stuck in our own life. But what if we were telling you that any of us can live a successful and fulfilled life?

Would you believe us if we were to tell you that you are the only one who can decide to be happy?

 
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Get it right from the get-go

We are not saying it is an easy process, no one have their sh*t together and we are all faking it until we make it. But all you need are the good tools and practice.

  • Have goals, big or small.

Having concrete goals will give you the motivation to move forward in your future, and make you feel excited about taking decisions while pushing you to adapt your routine.

Once you've lined up these ideas, you need to learn to identify non-toxic from toxic goals. How? Ask yourself "why" you are aiming for that specific goal. Is it for yourself? Others? Is it too intense? Unachievable ? Is it compromising your health? Always remember to be your own measurement system instead of comparing yourself to others.

  • Implement positive thinking and statements:

Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, acknowledge them by asking yourself WHY you are having negative thoughts and WHERE do they come from. Then, as trivial as it may sound, smile and twist it positively instead of making yourself feel worse:

"I am stupid… NO: I am smart!”

“I hate my acne… NO: I am beautiful!"

“I cannot do it… NO: I have been through worse than that, I am strong!"

The more you start making these statements, the more you will believe and see them. This is the power of manifestation, if you repeatedly keep saying negative things then those things are what will come to light. It works the same way for positive statements.

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Make it a habit while looking at yourself in the mirror (because it feels good to look at yourself right in the eyes):

I radiate beauty.  I radiate power. I radiate prosperity. I radiate love. I radiate light.

I am strong. I am confident. I will be successful.

I am beautiful. I have a great body. I love the way I look.

  • Learn to not be afraid to fail:

We all failed when we were kids, from the first step we took to all of the times we fell, it was part of our learning process. So failing as an adult is just as normal.

Failure means you keep learning, experimenting, progressing towards the life you are building, so instead of feeling ashamed we have to embrace it!

Grow, unlock other possibilities and achieve more than you could think!

  • Feel inspired not jealous:

Step away from negativity and jealousy by opening your mind, feeding your soul and surrounding yourself with like-minded people and people who are a few steps ahead of you too.

Keep learning, think about your goals, listen to yourself, learn to eliminate what doesn't work for you.

Just remember, you cannot compare yourself to others since you do not have the same life and aspirations.

There will always be parts of yourself that you are working on and you often think that "it will be better over there, and I will only be happy when…” but guess what?! Once you get over there, chances are you will face similar feelings of obstacles. Unless you break the cycle with everything we just told you.

Forgive yourself for making mistakes and take the pressure away by acknowledging that you are doing your best in every moment with the tools you have. That's how You will see a significant impact and change into your life.

Thank you @lianalewis and @edenalexwine for bringing your beautiful minds to this blog.

 
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You do you & I do Me!

Disclaimer: This blog contains sarcasm from a community of Scandals who doesn't give a damn when people try to bring them down. We will live our life the way we want it!

As you may know, we created a new project called "If I Had Listened” where women talk about a time they decided to trust their guts rather than listening to others. We realized too many of our Scandals were having (or have) a hard time starting new projects because of all the negative feedbacks they were getting from people around them.

Those behaviours will always happen because some people believe they know you better than you know yourself and will not hesitate to tell you the choices you have to make and how to live your life.

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Decide to not give a damn!

A few weeks ago, a classmate from trade school in France commented on one of my Instagram stories in which I was pole dancing, with a very thoughtful question:

“But why are you doing this? Showing your butts and everything? Really I don't understand…"

What a deep question and great way to develop a new conversation. I have to thanks this type of people because they make it really easy for me to use my french sarcasm!

So here I am, in my underwear, upside down on the pole, practicing one of the move we learnt. Then I got this message which blew my mind and reminded me of those school topics about philosophy and existential questions: Who are WE and why are we ALIVE?… So I asked myself, why am I doing what?

  • Why am I upside down on a pole?

  • Why am I half naked in my apartment?

  • Why am I living in Canada?

  • Why do I define myself as a woman?

My brain started to think, too many interrogations, not that much time to answer… My mind couldn’t take it anymore. I finally replied to him with the answer that was the most appropriate to that question: "For the pain!”. I guess not everyone understand sarcasm:

"Pain?? What are you talking about? I am talking about this way you have to show your butt to everyone… What is the point? I just want to understand why you are doing this… Or the same with the videos where you film yourself and other things… Honestly I don't understand!”

 
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"… the way you show your butt to everyone…” I am not gonna lie, I had to take a deep breath to stay calm. I had three options: I could have let my anger out and tackled him with my words. I could have wasted my time by starting a debate on how we live in a sexist society where it is inappropriate for women to show their body but normal for men and how it is important to change mentality around that topic. Or just ignored him, which I did, because I knew that guy was only criticising instead of trying to really understand and change his way of thinking and beliefs. So I kept my cool, told him I would not go into details and wished him a good night.

What we learnt since we opened Scandaleuse is that if people refuse to understand, you will not make them change their mind, so what even bother. It will only create frustration on your side and a big waste of your time!

Deciding of your own life doesn't make you selfish

There is a big difference between not caring about others and not caring about what people think of your way of living, it does not make you selfish or pretentious if you decide to not give a damn. You know you cannot please everybody, you can LISTEN to what people have to say and acknowledge their thoughts and ideas but at the end YOU decide if you want to apply them. You want to wear only blue clothes, go for it. You don't want kids, nothing wrong with that. You want to work in the sex industry, you do you my friend (no pun intended - or maybe a little!).

To quote one of the biggest poet of all time (love ya Hi Fashion!):

I don't care if you don't like my hair
Because I know it's amazing
And I don't give a damn if you don't like my tan
Because I know it's amazing
I don't give two hoots if you don't like my boots
Because I know they're amazing
And I don't give a sh*t if you don't like my tits
Because I know they're amazing

What you do with your butt, how you dress, the way you live your life and who you decide to be concerns you and only you. Don't let others dictate who you are just because they believe it is the only and right way to be in our society.

 
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Let's talk about consent!

Guest post by Eden Wine - Mindset Consultant

 With the advent of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” era, we must learn the nuances of “Consent” so we can best equip ourselves to effectively navigate our relationships.

 
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It’s time to create a clear definition of what consent means to us, and it’s important to:

  • understand our rights when it comes to giving and receiving consent;

  • solidify our true introspective understanding of our personal boundaries; and

  • learn about and respect how to best support other people’s boundaries. 

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOUR BOUNDARIES TO BE CROSSED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLEASing OTHERS OR IN THE ATTEMPT OF “FEELING BEAUTIFUL”? WELL I HAVE.

When I was 14, I suddenly became well endowed in the derriere department. Now, given the location of this development, I was completely unaware of its existence. I only came to know about my “ass-et” because of my male peers. When walking down the hallway of my high school, adorned in a school uniform, I was consistently greeted by unsolicited slaps, grabs, and fondles. I wasn’t even able to acknowledge this new part of my body before it was claimed by others and objectified. Since this was one of the first experiences I had in my developing body, I was trained to think that this behaviour was acceptable.

As a young teen, I was quickly learning that it was okay for me to be caressed without consent. This, however, is not true.

We, as humans, have exclusive rights to our own bodies.

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It is our fundamental obligation to define boundaries for ourselves and to feel comfortable and assured when voicing such boundaries. We are not owned by anyone and no one is entitled to us or any part of us. In fact, the right we have to our own bodies is grounded in and protected by law.

HOW ARE OUR RIGHTS PROTECTED?

The Constitutions and Criminal Codes of many (if not most) developed countries have specific and designated laws that are geared towards protecting the sanctity of consent. Now, I’m no expert in the laws of the world at large, but I know Canada very carefully preserves the notion of consent into its legislation and case law. For example, section 273.1(1) of the Canadian Criminal Code dictates that sexual activity is ONLY legal when both parties consent and where “voluntary agreement” is obtained. Both parties means BOTH parties. In fact, the “two to tango” phraseology has never been more apropos. Sure, there will be nuances in courting and dating when flirting plays a role though subliminal and subtle body language, but that does not dismiss the importance of ensuring that BOTH parties are consenting and, even more than that, consenting the WHOLE time. 

LET’S THINK ABOUT AND DEFINE OUR BOUNDARIES AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S BOUNDARIES TOO! #PlatinumRule 

Consent is truly grounding yourself in your beliefs and saying “yes” when an activity  (any activity really) feels right without a shadow of a doubt. This could apply to any sexual encounter or even as something as simple as a hug.

For all people alike, the onus is on us to:

  • know and learn our boundaries;

  • feel secure and confident in our ability to voice our boundaries; and,

  • to inquire and respect other people’s boundaries. In the end, it is each of us who have exclusive rights to our own person and it is our obligation to protect such rights with the entirety of our being.

DISCLAIMER

Eden Wine is presently a non-practicing lawyer. She was called to the Ontario Bar in June 2018 and has since been a member of the Law Society of Ontario.

The content of this article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or other professional advice or an opinion of any kind. Readers of this article are advised to seek specific legal advice by contacting independent legal counsel regarding any specific legal issues. Neither the author, nor Scandaleuse Photography warrant or guarantee the quality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this article or on Scandaleuse Photography’s website. The content of this article is current as of the original date of publication, and should not be relied upon as accurate, timely, or fit for any particular purpose.

Take control of your self-image

Originally written for The Beach Psychotherapy in Toronto

We never see ourselves the way we really are. And that could be okay if we didn’t have a tendency to turn towards negative feelings about our own image. Let’s be real, rare are the people who don’t fall into self-criticism.

Three years ago when we started Scandaleuse Photography, we didn’t know how much we would help women struggling with their self-perception. Women that can’t stand looking in the mirror and end up avoiding them at all costs. Women who think they are never good enough or who got their self-respect stolen from them. Women who feel stuck, who lack the amazing feeling of accomplishment that gives you butterflies and the motivation to keep growing and improving.

Because the relationship you have with yourself starts on the physical aspect and can impact everything else in your life.

Your femininity is a source of positive energy you need to tap into.

 
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First things first: you are not alone. At least 1 out 5 Canadian women are not happy with the way they look. That is huge. There is a certain pressure society lays out for us that implies, or rather screams at us, that the definition of beauty is to be thin and flawless. Seeing this very day, It is very difficult not to compare yourself to these standards and feel miserable if you think you don’t match them.

You are your best ally and your worst enemy. Getting in touch with yourself is essential for a positive mind growth and it starts with celebrating your own kind of beauty and femininity, your way.

That’s right, your version of being feminine. Because there isn’t just one perfect way, you can twist it and morph it making it your own.

Let us tell you a little story. When we photographed Lea, she told us she refused to see herself as attractive. She could see it through her partners’ eyes, but couldn’t believe it from her own perspective. Through her session, she finally managed to see that she was beautiful with every aspect of her body. Things she had considered “flaws” such as, “her asymmetrical breasts, soft belly, cellulite and hair”

Sometimes you need to see yourself from another pair of eyes to ditch the distorted image you have of yourself.

If you have one day in which you feel even a tiny bit good about yourself, channel it 500% and use it as a constant strength. Because while we all have moments when we feel not so good about ourselves, we also have days when, hey, we’re actually okay. It could be as simple as having a good hair day or a little success like changed that light bulb that had been burnt out for months. Take this feeling, hold it tight and nurture the hell out of it.

Take Katie as an example, a lovely woman with a physical disability. She decided to not let this get it the way and to celebrate her true self. It started slowly, one step at a time with a better diet and focusing on improving her range of motion. She put herself on a good path, wanting to make of her goals come true: showing it to the world. That’s when she called us. She said it herself “I am ready to challenge what people expect. You are not invisible, you are worthy.”

What about when someone stole and damaged your self-love?

 
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This is Erica’s story. Erica suffered from the hatred of a man, a family member for years. While she managed to escape, it wasn’t without consequences: this experience completely destroyed her self-esteem. She told us she didn’t have control of her own image anymore. We met completely randomly and she gathered the courage to challenge herself with a boudoir session.

It wasn’t easy. We saw her shake, hesitate and even tear up but she did it. Posing in front of the lens made her realize that the qualities she was admiring in others were also part of her.

She was able to win back what she thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be me anymore.”

This feeling of accomplishment is a great push to keep going, you end up craving it and you’ll do anything to keep creating and experiencing it.

The truth is: once you get the courage to show yourself and vulnerable in lingerie in front of “strangers”, you’re left with an empowering feeling of “I can do anything”.  Everyone needs to challenge themselves on different levels. It makes you want to keep going, it helps you grow and become more assertive, thus more confident. You end up creating a cycle of positive vibes which will lead you to move mountains.

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, because after all, YOU are your best friend. If there is one thing you need to take away from this post is that you only have one body and one mind; it’s YOURS to make use out of it.

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Do not let procrastination take over!

Procrastination is a big and scary word, nobody likes to be told or think they are being lazy. But we all know how easy it is to let ourselves go in any aspects of our life: relationship, life goals, business… It does not mean we are actually lazy or we do not care anymore, usually it is something we build with time and without noticing. Slowly but surely we have been developing bad habits and at some point it just hits us, trust me when I say it is an awful feeling!

Starting 2019 with "Panache”

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I wanted to start 2019 in style, so beginning of January I wrote down a lot of new goals in my notebook, I especially wanted to work on being more self-disciplined and I was 100% motivated to achieve it. One of the first one was to travel alone: BAM! Two weeks later I was in Costa Rica by myself, celebrating my birthday and making new friends (I even met a new gorgeous scandal for a boudoir shoot). I came back to Toronto with clearer thoughts, new ideas and ready to conquer the world!

By the way, this feeling happens when you get out of your confort zone and try new experiences. Yes it is scary at first but once it is done, you feel so powerful and confident; you can do everything.

Hit me baby one more time

I kept that fire inside me until about two weeks ago when I started feeling down, unmotivated and not really healthy. Then few days ago it just hit me (and man, it was painful, I felt guilty!): I realized I have been letting myself go for a few months. Yes I was full of ideas and new goals but I wasn't working to make them happen. Business was busy, which was a bit unbelievable for winter time, so I focused on the tasks I had to do, I focused too much on the short term and forgot about long term plans. I have slowly been pushing back projects I was supposed to work on or business skills I wanted to learn. Those bad habits affected not only my business life but my personal one too:

  • I stopped cooking healthy meals (I am a vegetarian so I have to be careful to replace properly the nutrients I don't get from meat anymore), the result: iron deficiency = a week an a half of intense migraines and fatigue.

  • I replaced reading by watching tv shows (Netflix is temptation!).

  • My workout has been the same for the past 2 months instead of learning new fitness and aerial silk tricks.

  • Do you remember my 2019 goals I was talking to you about? Well I haven't opened that notebook since I wrote them in!

To make it short, I STOPPED LEARNING…

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Your brain is a muscle

We always remember to feed our body. If we don't, it doesn't take too much time before having a low energy, headaches, dizziness… But we have the tendency to forget our brain is a muscle we need to take care of. We need to work it out and feed it with knowledge if we do not want to see negative effects on the long term.

When you make your passion a business, unfortunately you can easily lose your creativity, you have to challenge yourself all the time: I am not gonna lie, it can be very tiring… So you take a break, you relax. And it's when you let go too much you start building procrastination. All it takes is to find the perfect balance between work and pleasure. I am not able to remember the last time I watched a documentary, discovered a new photographer, went to an art exhibition or learn something new. I am not a lazy person, I am the opposite: always working hard, curious and motivated. But somewhere and for some reasons on the road, procrastination showed up and stayed warm and cozy.

The first step is to notice

Procrastination's guilt is an awful feeling. So when you catch yourself procrastinating for too long you have to change your activity right away, just stop and do something that feels right! If this step is too difficult for you then ask someone in your loved ones who will let you know if you f**k up. I try to not beat myself up because nobody is perfect but I refuse to use it as an excuse to stay in this vicious circle.

The secret against laziness:

Some of you are probably gonna feel disappointed because I know you are waiting to read an advice which will change your life… Please do not hate me but unfortunately there is no magic trick! You have to force yourself to do stuff! Whatever it is you try to achieve, you have to kick your own butt to be successful. FIND YOUR OWN MOTIVATION.

 
 

Use your brain!

Never stop learning, think, have ideas, keep yourself active, build up your energy and consider your body as a temple because if you are not healthy then it will be difficult to be proactive.

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How people's words can have an impact on your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can easily be transformed and used as a weapon. Since humans have the tendency to criticize others (because it is apparently easier than giving a compliment), this weapon put in mischievous hands can be extremely painful. It is really difficult to know the impact our words can have on others but is it so difficult to be more careful and taking the time to be aware of it?

 
 

I can say I am pretty confident with my body but it wasn't always the case, especially in middle school. I am glad I choose to go to photography school as it helped me to become self-confident.

I wish sometimes I could be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, get more tan, have a beautiful skin… but this is my body and I cannot change it, so I decided to cherish it because it is precious and I now don’t give a freaking damn about people's critics.

 
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When your “supposed-friends” show their true colors

I always been really thin: tiny body, tiny bones, boobies which are still hiding from the world (still looking for them!) and for a long time I was ashamed of that. Of course people liked to remind me of it:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you, you are like what… 14?!” (I am 19 dude but thanks-what an ass!")

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one “your mom should be sooo ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!!”.

That sentence was the last one I let putting me down: F**k that! Never again I will let words break me.

Relax, it was just a joke!

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The famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we all went through that and maybe we did it too without realizing it can be painful for our interlocutor. Do not get me wrong, as a french person I love sarcasm and bad humour that makes me laugh even though it is directed towards my body or my intelligence. Lets take my family as a an example, I saw partners or parents with their kids, pocking each other and making jokes about the way they look, their personality: "Don't take it badly, it was just a joke!” they say.

Yes it was probably… a joke but for some reason that day, those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a bit down. When a loved one reminds you several time per week “how flat you are”, “how curvy you are”, “how sometimes you can be stupid", even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and not in yourself anymore.

Yes jokes are funny but do not forget also to tell your loved ones every day how much you love them, how strong and smart they are and how successful they will be.

“Et mademoiselle, t’es bonne, tu baises?”

Disclaimer: Ladies and gents caution, coarse language coming.

Translation: “Yo miss, you're hot, wanna f**k?” (no kidding, I heard those words in the street).

I never really had any problem since I moved to Canada and I wish I could tell you the same for France but I would be lying. You see, France is like Tinder's nightmares in real life. A lot of men have the bad habit to harass women in the street and we heard them all. From “I am gonna eat that ass!", "B**ch I am talking to you!”, “Nice legs, at what time do they open?!"… to “I am gonna rape you!”, when you are victim of street harassment for years, it gets very easy to stress about the idea of going out by yourself. And they say apparently french women are very difficult to approach… - Cough - Really? I wonder why!

The worst sentence a guy told me in Canada was “You're gonna get in trouble with this body!”, I am not gonna lie it scared the crap out of me (I was walking in a very quiet street with nobody else around) but I played it cool and thanked the guy for his “compliment”. At some point he left after wishing me to have a great day.

Please gentlemen, think twice before hitting on a girl and watch your language!

When people make your day

Fortunately, a lot of people have the ability to cheer your day up with hilarious and unforgettable compliments and honestly those are the ones that counts. So for you and exclusively, here are the best ones people ever told us:

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- “You have very nice collarbones!”

- “Your hair smell like sex!”

- “If I have to compare you as a car, you will be a Porsche”

- “Wohh, where did you get those eyes from?!”

- “If we take my friend's legs, this table as my body and my face, would you love me?”

What about you? What is the best/worst/unforgettable compliment someone ever gave you?

Bridal Boudoir

For our Scandals who are getting married, have you heard about bridal boudoir?

It sounds like just a detail to add to your endless to-do list, less important than shoes, flowers and the other millions tasks you need to take care of. As a result, boudoir shots are either overlooked or done very quickly the morning of your wedding if you or your photographer remembers.

 
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WHY NOT TAKE MORE TIME AND BOOK YOUR BRIDAL BOUDOIR SESSION BEFORE YOUR WEDDING DAY?

BRIDAL BOUDOIR = PRETTY NEAT YOU TIME

Let's face it: wedding planning can be very stressful. From finding the best venue to the problematic seating chart (you know, uncle George having a feud with aunt Roberta while your 14-year-old cousin would rather die than sit at the kids table...), it feels like there is no ending.

That's why we believe every bride should take one day to take care of herself and relax: spa, massage, karate class (everyone has their own way to calm down!). A boudoir session can definitely join that list of cool stuff. It's a great way to have fun and think about you and only you.

HERE ARE 4 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD DO A BOUDOIR SESSION BEFORE YOUR WEDDING:

1) YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT.

Secretly or not, we are 99% sure this is something you've been curious about. What's better than using the fact that you are getting married as a reason to finally do it?

2) YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE A BAD-ASS

You will definitely leave your shoot feeling like Beyonce. We see it with all of our clients: they first come excited and a little shy, they leave rocking that pavement like it's a cat walk, with their hair is slow-motion. That's exactly what you need. And we all love Beyonce.

3) YOUR PARTNER WILL JUST LOVE IT.

Just picture your partner's blushing face and adorable smile when he/she will see your photos. There is something so special about giving this gift to the love of your life.

4) YOU ARE GOING TO BUY EXPENSIVE LINGERIE/VEIL FOR YOUR BIG DAY.

Might as well make it count. That pair of cute panties you bought for the night of deserves more.

You can even involve your partner for a couple boudoir shoot if you want to try something unique, he/she also needs to relax, in a romantic way...

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?

Most of the time, it is done indoor,s usually at the bride’s home, friend or family house or in an hotel room. But because we love to offer you something different, your session can be done in beautiful lofts: from bohemiam artsy to moderm minimalist, it's your choice!

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If you feel adventurous, we can take you for an outdoor session. Depending of the weather and your taste, a boudoir shoot can be done in a beautiful garden, in the forest, on the beach, in the water or in even the street, for creative and beautiful images.

ONLY ME, MYSELF & I?

This is totally up to you. Some women like to do it by themselves, others feel more comfortable with someone they know. If you feel like sharing this wonderful experience, here are some ideas:

  • With your partner: Such a great way to bring your relationship to another level of intimacy. Bring your lover and a bottle of wine, we vow to create a romantic atmosphere.

  • With your bridesmaids: those sessions are so much fun and can be very creative. You just need to bring your girls, your lingerie and props and some drinks (yes a bottle of wine works here too) and we are good to go!

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?

You decide what is the most comfortable for you and the vibe you have in mind. Here are few tips to help you started:

  • Classic: white lingerie, veil, garter  and bouquet

  • Fancy: corset or bodysuit, lace, stockings and heels

  • Natural: simple lingerie, oversize sweaters, knee socks, light makeup and barefoot

THOSE ARE JUST LITTLE TIPS, FEEL FREE TO MIX AND MATCH IDEAS, WEAR COLORS, BRING JEWELRY OR GO FULL NUDE. THERE ARE NO RULES, LET YOUR IMAGINATION DO THE WORK!

 
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Camera Roll - March 2018

If you follow us on social media, you can see that we try to go to multiples events, exhibits and other fun stuff around the city. To keep this motivation going and share even more with you, we are starting a monthtly Camera Roll in which we will show you some glimpse of what we have been up to.

 
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Since we just started the concept, we definitely have to get better at taking (and saving!) more pictures. Duly noted for April!

We celebrated Juliette's birthday with a pretty colorful treat

Fanny took me to Versus Coffee to get a very Instagramable latte! Check them out at Adelaide/Church.

Femmes en Or down at the city hall

On March 8th, we went down to the city hall to listen to 5 women entrepreneure to celebrate International Women's Day. Francophone event organized by Oasis Centre des Femmes. On top of meaningful conversations, we also got a chance to see the Chamber of Council. They gave us way too much power.

Babes who Brunch

The Ace Class is a collective of women, originally from Calgary, who activate, cultivate and empower each other. We went to their first Torontonian brunch at the Gladstone, in which we met Julie Harrish, founder of 6ix cycle, whom you might meet sooner than later around here...

Rocked with Deadset Society

Just because we are all about girl power doesn't mean we don't love good rock bands. Not gonna lie, Deadset Society has a special place in our hearts since we did their first promo shoot a year ago. They don't play a lot in the city, so when they do, you can make sure we are there. And you should too.
(we didn't take any photos - ugh - so thanks Michael Amaral for the pic!)

Women & Fitness Panel

As you may know, Fanny and I are both into fitness via our aerial silks passion, so when we bumped into this event at the Love Child Social House, we just had to go. We heard 5 very interesting panelists, got rubbed by MyoDetox, and met the beautiful Jessie & Chloe (same, you will likely meet them soon!)

 

 
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Dreaming Big & Being Bold

Again, Eventbrite is a good source for events like this. Dreaming Big, Being Bold is a book gathering multiple author's life experiences, aiming to motivate you by their stories. We have met so many insightful people during that evening. Not gonna lie, almost 90% of people were from London, ON and were fairly surprised to see random people (aka us!) coming in. Oh well, we're pretty curious and it was a nice discovery!

Our one year anniversary is coming up!

Yep, that's right! On April 4th, it's Scandaleuse's birthday! We are working on a video you shall see soon!

She Leads Conference by Her Campus

The conference brought together five female reporters to discuss the topic of women in journalism in Hart House at the University of Toronto. While we are not in this industry at all (and not even students at U of T for that matter), it was super interesting to learn more about female journalist's everyday's accomplishments & struggles. Best advice: “report like women, publish like men.”

Well, ladies & gentlemen, that's pretty much it for this month! Going to events regularly is our 2018 challenge and so far, we've been doing pretty good. Follow us on our instagram to see these in real times & feel free to message us to tag along!

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How to Avoid NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

Here is the context: you managed to score a gig on a very nice project. You gathered all of your creativity, worked without counting your hours (for the greater good!), maybe ended up losing money rather than making some but you put your heart on the table and did not regret it. Until…

 
 

Until you received feedback. Negative feedback. This is when your client took your heart out of your chest and kicked it like it was just a piece of garbage.

I experienced this in the past and I would be lying if I said that I handled it okay and it did not affect me whatsoever.

This unfortunate scenario happens more than you would think and more importantly, hurts a lot more than you would expect. Because it is your craft. Because we are human. Because our visions are different. Because you were not prepared. Because there was a misunderstanding. Thankfully, learning the hard way can also force you to move forward quickly and efficiently.

Since this feeling is definitely something we would rather avoid, here are some leassons that I learnt from this experience:

Get your client's vision

Congratulations, you made the cut, your client believes you have the talent to accomplish their request and are ready to pay you for it! Now it is time to get down to business and understand what the hell they need you to do. Ask for inspiration photos or other examples. Ask as many questions as you need to, to make sure you understand exactly what they are looking for.

Educate your clients

Chances are that whoever will contact you for your services has no knowledge whatsoever on how to do your job. That is probably why they are reaching out at the first place. Now that you have a more precise idea of what they need from you, you MUST evaluate the time and budget allocated for this project and let them know exactly what they will get for this price/time. Is it very unlikely they will get 500 edited photos for one hour of coverage for their event. They probably won't get a very complicated studio lighting for their corporate shoot for $200.

Have a contract

Sounds simple but it actually isn't, at least for me. I got blinded by the excitement, agreed to work fast, didn't take the time to write everything down and have it signed. Bad, bad idea. This can only backfire. Write something that can protect you in case something out of your control was to happen the day of the shoot that would stop you from giving what you were asked.

Explain the final product.

While it does relate to the previous point, I believe it needs a different paragraph. People need to know prior to shoot what they will get at the end. Edited, RAWs, low res, high res, your watch, whatever. This needs to be set in stone. If you have delivering  RAW previews for your clients to choose, it is important to explain that this step is not the final product. Again, they might not know what a RAW photo looks like (and it looks pretty bad usually.). If I REALLY have to show some RAWs - which I try to avoid as much as possible - I like to give an edited example with it to show the before/after process. This also give you a chance to get approval for the editing style you went for.

Charge a fee for additional hours.

Make it worth your time. If after giving exactly what you were asked, you get additional requests, you need to charge for it. This will avoid wasting money on billable hours. And no one likes to waste money.

Let it go.

This is the hardest point for me. And this is still something I need to learn myself. Despite of all your efforts, sometimes it just doesn't work. It happens. If you feel like you gave your best and there is nothing else you can do to adjust the products, it is time to let that boat sail away. There is only so much you can do. It doesn't make you a terrible artist, it just means that people are different. Take what you can from it and move on.

That's it dearest Scandals. Now go work on new amazing projects and blow people's mind, we are right behind you.
Love,

 
 

Show Us Your Tats - Betty LaBourbon

Betty was one of the first participants to Show Us Your Tats. We fell in love with her retro look that makes you want to buy anything babydoll looking you can find. We loved her even more when she agreed to get in the water with us at Cherry Beach, with a thousand dogs (and their owners) staring at us. 

 
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Who are you?

Betty LaBourbon,  burlesque performer based out of Toronto. My classic pin up style is the cherry on top of my electric performances, both as a solo performer and as part of the Femme Diagrams burlesque troupe.

Let's talk tattoos

I have 4 tattoos. The oldest is a maple leaf on the small of my back that was done for my 16th birthday. It was done in a small town shop outside of the city. My black widow was to remind me that I am strong in my own right, and was done by a friend. I have a Winnie the Pooh memorial piece for a family member who passed away. And I have a burned branch with my family's crest to keep me connected to my past. Those two were both done at Tat-a-rama in Etobicoke. So far that has been my favorite shop that I have visited in Toronto.

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What was the time and budget allocated for each piece?

The maple leaf was maybe $100, it is not very big and it was done outside of the city many years ago. It was only maybe a half an hour to complete.

The black widow was even less than that since it was done by a friend who was an apprentice at the time. Again, it didn't take very long, maybe 20 minutes.

The branch took quite a bit longer, about 2 hours. It cost almost $300, and I gave the artist a good tip as well because he did an excellent job.

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The Winnie the Pooh piece was maybe an hour and a half, and cost about $250, but again, I gave the artist, Joe Berry, a tip because, again, the artists at this shop do excellent work. I'm very picky because I either design my own tattoos, or have very clear ideas about what I want, so I need to work with artists who are willing to listen, and not all about their own ego and personal style.

Is the tattoo fever going to strike again?

Ooh absolutely! Tattooing is a great way to celebrate and remember important things, events, people. I have maybe 3 more planned, but I'm sure more ideas will come to me as time goes on.

Is there something you wish you had known before getting tattooed?

I did a lot of research before getting my first tattoo. I had to as a requirement before my parents would sign the consent forms! But I didn't realize it was going to be such a spiritual experience. You have an image that means something so personal to you that you want to carve it into your body. You sacrifice blood and pain for this image to be with you forever. That is an incredibly intense experience. And for me it became very spiritual. A way to give back to the universe for lessons learned or gifts received. I still feel that way every time I go under the needle.

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How did you immediate family/circle of friends react?

My family has always been ok with tattoos. Both of my parents have them, and since I was so young when I got my first one, I needed their consent before it could be done! Strangely enough, my nose piercing caused more issue than any of my tattoos have! As for my friends, it was never an issue, either good or bad. They all wanted to hear about it, and teased me about going through the pain, but no one really seemed to consider it much beyond that. It's become very normalized in our culture I suppose.

The Deets

Tat-a-rama in Etobicoke | @tatarama.
Joe Berry | @joe_b_tattoos

Find Betty

Her Instagram | Her Facebook

 

When the photographer becomes the model

You know we care. You know we would do anything to treat you the best possible way. We know there is always room from improvement. That's why we decided to put one of the Scandals-En-Chef - Juliette - on the other side of the lense for a change, to experience fully what it is like to be half naked in front of a camera.

 
 

Dear little Scandals,

Both of us went to Costa Rica last February to participate in an amazing Aerial Silks retreat. We stayed in a beautiful lodge and totally took advantage of it. We woke up early morning before the heat made us sweat more than usual and off we went, shooting!

Disclaimer : Like many women and men, I have always had body issues. They are like ghosts from my 14-year-old self when I was hiding my face with long bangs and wearing horrible push-up bras, and other uncomfortable attire to pretend my body was something it wasn't. Over the years, I became "okay" with my reflection in the mirror. Not hating it, not loving it either. While working out has helped me a lot, I still have to battle my demons here and there. This shoot was a huge challenge that I set for myself.

Now, buckle-up, you are about to jump in my head...

 
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7:01 am - Today is the day. Can I catch up on years of non-squatting in 2 minutes?
7:02 am - Probably not. At least we are doing this before breakfast. No swollen belly, yay!
7:05 am - My hands are shaking and my buttcheeks will too. Why did I think this would be a good idea?
7:06 am - Shoot boudoir sessions they say, it will be fun they say….
7:08 am - Enough talking to yourself, more getting ready.
7:30 am - Hair? Decent. Make-up? Complete. Wardrobe? Minimal. Sex-appeal? In process.
7:35 am - I am SO ready for this.
7:38 am - Here we goooo.
7:40 am - Wait, what am I supposed to do? Listening to Fanny should be a good start.
7:45 am - I have to contract my abs.
7:50 am - Daaaaamn, I feel like a sex bomb.
7:55 am - I have never been this self-conscious about sitting on a bed. How do people sit on beds and look naturally sexy?
7:56 am - American movies are full of lies.
7:58 am - What the hell should I do with my arms? What do normal people do with arms? The human body has way too many parts.
7:59 am - Hold the pose, hold the pose, hold the pose.
8:00 am - Worth it. Looks sick. Let's do more!
8:15 am - I have never arched my back this much before. Flexibility here I come.
8:17 am - The garderner is taking a hell lot of time to pick up his lime on that patio here. Enjoy the show buddy.
8:25 am - I am getting the hang of this.
8:27 am - Call me Sexy Beast from now on please.
8:30 am - More! More! More!
8:32 am - Bra's off. I am a savage. Free the nipples!
8:37 am - There is something very cool about walking around breast-naked, let me tell you.
9:00 am - Wait, it's already over?

What I learned from this experience:

This shoot confirmed everything I thought would happen and more. I blanked for basic poses, went from feeling vulnerable, super nervous and questioning everything I did to jumping around, boobs au naturel. It is amazing how fast you become aware of your own body when it is the main focus. Every natural movement does NOT feel natural anymore for no reason.

Thankfully, I did not have to do too much thinking with Fanny guiding me every step of the way. I felt more and more comfortable after the first 5 minutes and was completely at ease by the end of the session. Even better, I am actually super proud of myself for accomplishing this.

This session also helped me become a better photographer. I am even more aware of what a model needs to hear in order to feel taken care of.

Conclusion: Will definitely do it again!

Things you should know:

  • Your photographer (aka us!) does NOT judge your appearance. That is not what we are here for.
  • It does take guts to pose half naked in front of a stranger. That's why we make a point of ensuring you are 100% comfortable with us, our personalities and the way we work.
  • Posing you is part of our job. You shouldn't worry about having to come up with poses by yourself.
  • You are allowed to say no. I personally felt comfortable enough to show my breasts.  Maybe you won't, and that's okay.
  • Make the most of your session and have fun. You've come this far, you might as well go fierce!

This makes me happy for what we are currently doing with you Little Scandals.

Love,