This week, one of our Scandals (if you're new here, that's what we lovingly call our clients after they've done a boudoir session with us) shared her beautiful photos on Instagram. She was incredibly proud of herself for stepping outside her comfort zone and loved her images so much that she wanted to celebrate them with her community. Unfortunately, because social media is full of bullies, she also received some stupid comments.
Sadly, this kind of behaviour has become so common online that many people barely react to it anymore. But we care and honestly, we're tired of seeing women torn down for simply existing confidently in their own bodies. So here we are again, speaking up and dismantling old school beliefs…
"If you post online, you have to accept people's opinions."
This is one of the most common arguments used to justify online harassment. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But there's a world of difference between respectfully disagreeing with someone and insulting or humiliating them.
When people share pieces of their lives, whether it's a trip they took, a recipe they tried, a fitness journey, or a personal milestone, they're simply sharing something that brought them joy, and it is a beautiful thing that social media allow us to do. But every time we read the comments under a Reel or an Instagram post, we're saddened by how many people go out of their way to say something negative. We have never understood why some people feel the need to criticize complete strangers for living their lives differently than they would. And when women share their boudoir photos, the judgment somehow becomes even harsher 😡
In our opinion, if someone doesn't like it, they can simply keep scrolling!
"Those pictures belong on OnlyFans."
No, they don't.
Comments like these usually come from people who automatically associate a woman's body with sexuality. Because boudoir photography often shows more skin than a traditional portrait session, many assume that boudoir equals pornography.
It doesn't! Nudity and sexuality are two completely different things.
Nudity is simply the state or quality of being without clothing or covering of any kind. It is the bare skin we all have under our clothes, skin that protects our our organs, nerves, muscles, veins… Sexuality, on the other hand, is about sexual expression and desire.
Can boudoir photography be erotic? Of course it can, if the intention of the image is to arouse the viewer or if it depicts sexual acts. But that's not why most women book a boudoir session. They come to us because they want to see themselves differently. They want to reconnect with their bodies, celebrate a milestone, heal after a difficult chapter, rebuild their confidence, or simply do something that feels empowering and fun.
Their photos aren't about inviting others to look at them, they're about finally learning to look at themselves with kindness. For many women, boudoir is far more therapeutic than it is sexual.
"Boudoir is a step backwards for feminism."
No, it is not.
Some people argue that women who post boudoir photos online are simply seeking attention or catering to the male gaze, and that doing so contributes to the objectification of women. Can you see the irony? Once again, we are asking women to cover up so men can behave.
While it is true that some women do share intimate photos because they enjoy feeling attractive, they like to receive compliments, or it is their way to express their sexuality (there is absolutely nothing wrong with that), for many others they share their photos because they're proud of themselves!
Proud that they faced their insecurities. Proud that they challenged years of negative self-talk. Proud that they finally saw themselves the way their loved ones have always seen them. And often, they hope their courage will inspire another woman to do the same.
Interestingly, when a man posts shirtless photos showing off his physique, people rarely question his intelligence, self-respect, or motives. Yet when a woman celebrates her body, suddenly everyone has an opinion.
Which brings us to the classic:
"You can't be taken seriously if you post your boudoir photos."
We have heard this one countless times. Despite the progress we've made, society still tends to believe that women who show their bodies online, or who use their appearance as part of their work, must somehow be less intelligent, less professional, less talented or less capable.
But confidence and competence are not mutually exclusive:
A woman can be a CEO and wear lingerie.
A lawyer can do a boudoir shoot.
A doctor can feel sexy.
A teacher can celebrate her body.
An entrepreneur can embrace both her intelligence and her femininity.
Showing your body doesn't erase your accomplishments, it doesn't diminish your expertise and it doesn't make your opinions less valuable. The only thing it challenges is an outdated belief that women must choose between being respected and feeling beautiful. We're done accepting that false choice. Women are allowed to exist in all their complexity. They can be intelligent, accomplished, vulnerable, sexy, funny, ambitious, powerful, and confident all at the same time. And if that makes some people uncomfortable, maybe that's a sign that the problem was never boudoir photography in the first place.
Never forget that boudoir is a celebration of yourself. You absolutely have every right to keep your photos private, but you also have every right to share them and you don't owe anyone an explanation for what you do with your own body. If a boudoir session makes you feel happy, confident, and powerful, that's enough. And if you want to share those images with the world, that's your choice too. At the end of the day, you're the only person who gets to decide what's right for your beautiful self.
