Disclaimer: we will be chatting about being true to who you are and standing up for yourself in this post. Needless to say, we are not referring to any behaviours involving harming yourself or other people.
Respect is a must to give, but also to receive!
Why do people lose respect for others to begin with?
Because they don't share the same values or standards. Of course, if we are talking about racism, slut-shaming, sexism and everything else falling into the hatred & discrimation category, this is a different topic. This time, we are referring to choices that YOU make for YOUR own well-being that don't necessarily get "approval" from others. Maybe for certain people, the fact that you practice a certain sport for example can be a reason to lose respect (any pole-dancers out there? Why mess with someone who can bend around a piece of metal to begin with?!)
But here is the thing: those indicators that people use to judge you are actually not about you per se, they are about them. They are created by their own conditioning, insecurities, past experiences and so on.
So you might as well take a step back and not let it affect you as much because…
Not everyone is going to like you, so you might as well do you!
That can be a tough pill to swallow (yep, for us too): not everyone likes you. Even if you didn't do anything to them.
Instead of trying to bend over backwards to please everyone, it is much better to surround yourself with people who support you and share the similar values you have. You will be much happier around them, you will build stronger connections, but most importantly, you will feel like yourself.
Embracing who you are is a must for your own happiness. You don't have the energy, room, or time, for people who disrespect you for being you. No one else but YOU is eligible to judge your choices and decisions.
Don’t let people make you feel like your are worthless!
Your hobbies, education, sexual preferences, or any choices you make related to your appearance, you name it, should NOT affect your credibility.
We often hide or dismiss some aspects of our personalities in order to "fit in". We see it constantly in our industry since we photograph people in a way that can be seen "provocative" by (narrow-minded) traditional minds. Most of our clients are looking to regain confidence and want to feel sexy in their own skin. And some of them want to share their photos with the world as a way to stand up for themselves loud and clear. Yet, a good 50% don’t dare to do so due to the fear of losing credibility with the people they love and appearing less professional with people from their work if they happen to see the photographs of their shoot.
Don't get us wrong, if you wish to keep your pictures (or any projects) just to yourself because it's part of your own journey, that's totally cool. But if you stop yourself from showing your photographs because you are afraid of what people would say, then you need to realize that you are not the problem. The people judging you are.
We are strong believers that, if someone is trying to make you feel small and if you just don't give it any attention, try to defend or dismiss it, the "judger" will feel so damn ridiculous that they will end up giving themselves a taste of their own medicine.
To give you an example, since we use ourselves for our boudoir advertising, we have heard some snarky comments about how "we are just posing naked online". By just saying "yeah, so what? I think I look damn good too!", we remove any possibility for a judgmental response.
You cannot shame someone who is confident in their choices. You cannot affect someone with your judgement if they don’t allowing it. Confidence is truly a super power my friends!
No one can fit in just one box and that is pretty neat!
Back in the day, even maybe a decade ago, we were supposed to fit nicely in one category and stay in it. Nowadays, people can be so many things at once and it's such a great time to be alive. Thanks to this, we are removing pressure, and changing our standards and expectations.
We are even changing the definition of power by making it about standing up for ourselves and being open about it. We are kicking the stigmas back to oblivion.
Would it shock you if your lawyer had a passion for making macarons? No. What if your dentist was fond of doing trapeze? Would it change their qualifications? No. If anything, it would make them more approachable.
Embrace your unique-self and make your own contribution by being proud of who you are and what you do. It will serve those coming after you.