Everyone is sensual

Sensuality… a big scary word. If you ask people how they would define sensuality, we can bet that most likely they will tell you it is somehow related to sexuality, and they would not be 100% wrong. It is very true that sexuality is a little part of it, but there is so much more to sensuality than sex only.

We already wrote a blog about sensuality so if you need a good reminder or if you want to learn more about it, we invite you to read it here. In today’s blog we will talk more about the shame and fear people can feel with the idea of being sensual.

Understanding sensuality

beautiful woman wearing black lacy lingerie and venetian mask on a black background with red curtains

A lot of people are having a hard time to let go to become the best version of themselves. Especially women. We are told from a very young age to not make too much noise, nor take too much space. We grew up hearing how slutty some clothing make us look and that we should always act in proper manners in order to be desired. When we spend so many years listening to people telling us how we should behave and what clothes we should wear, the idea of accepting ourselves as sensual beings can feel confusing and scary.

It is hard to reprogram our way of thinking, but believe us when we say everyone is sensual, it is just a matter of finding what this word means to you and how you want to incorporate it in your life.

It is also important to understand that those negative feeling you might have are only coming from the media or the environment you grew up in. Sensuality is still stigmatized because it is confused with sexuality (sex being a taboo topic 😒). As mentioned above, those two terms can be related but in a general way sensuality is the ability to be connected to all your senses and experience life in a more energetic way.

You can find sensuality in watching a beautiful sunset, eating a tasteful dish, moving your body freely to the rhythm of music, listening to your favourite music, smelling flowers, being naked in the softest clothes you own, feel the sun on your skin… But you can of course also experience those senses in the arms of your lover.

Sensuality is not just about sexual pleasure, it’s about the positive feelings and the level of happiness those moments are bringing into your life.

The first steps to take

If it is hard for you to feel sensual or you are telling yourself that you are absolutely not sensual, our first advice for you is to give more love to your body. Since sensuality is related to our senses, you cannot expect to experience it while having a bad relationship with your body.

Your body is not your enemy! Give it the same love and care you will give to your best friend. Learn to accept it fully, even the parts about yourself you don’t like. Here is what you can do when you have a moment to yourself alone:

  • Enjoy being nude

    Being naked is one of the best feeling in the world and it is so empowering. You can start just by spending time in your apartment topless wearing just your panties (read, watch a movie, water your plants, whatever task you fee like doing in the moment). Then once you are familiar with being topless, try again fully nude. It will feel weird at first but the more you practice the more you will enjoy it. It is also a great exercise to see your body nude in another scenario than showering or having sex.

  • Give your body compliments

    Once again even for the parts you don’t like about yourself. Strip down and go in front of a mirror (full body mirror if you have one). Look deeply at yourself and with kind eyes, and give yourself compliments. Yes it is a hard exercise and yes you might feel silly about doing it but trust us it will help a lot. Plus no one will never know so you have nothing to lose doing it.

  • Reconnect with your beautiful body

    Don’t be afraid to touch your skin, your curves, but not in a sexual way. Just to feel your own hands on yourself, activate your sense of touch, and feel the gentle sparks it is creating.

Changing the way we see ourselves starts with wanting to change and be willing to make those changes. We are not saying it is easy but it is mental. We have been conditioned to hate our body and think we need to “fix” it by the beauty industry so they could sell us products and services we don’t need. You are born with the body you have, and if that body doesn’t look like what you see on tv or in magazines, it does not mean your body is not beautiful or that you are not desirable.

Accepting your natural beauty and learning to love yourself will add so much power and freedom in your life.

Practice those exercises daily and it will get easier. Once you start to feel more at ease with the way you look and experience new things in life that will activate all of your senses, sensuality will become part of who your are.

 
gorgeous and nude black woman laying down in a bathtub in purple water
 

In our opinion sensuality is very important as it is a great tool to increase confidence and self-esteem. It also make you radiate positive energies and makes you glow ❤️

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Why boudoir photos are a great Christmas gift

Don't get us wrong, a boudoir shoot should definitely be done for yourself before anything. It's your chance to get quality "me-time”, try something new, and more importantly: reconnect with your body the way you want. But, if you feel like it, sharing your boudoir images with your special someone is a beautiful, genuine gift that's hard to top!

You're showing a version of yourself your partner might not know.

 
 

God knows this is hard, especially when you've been with someone for a long time and have built a life together. Many of our clients have shared with us that their partner did not expect them to ever do a boudoir shoot and how much of a "wow”factor it was when they told them. It was even more special to them, like they were let in on a little sexy secret.

Or... you're showing them the "You" they haven't seen in a while.

While it is hard to find new things about each other, it is even harder to step away from your role within your family. The care-taker, the parent, you-name-it… When a routine is established, we don't get many chances to let our sexy selves shine. That's everything boudoir is about: stepping out of your daily tasks and bringing some spice back!

It's not a "boring” gift.

Getting socks and underwear is useful, but we bet your partner would take risqué photos of yourself instead in a heartbeat! Sharing boudoir photos is so meaningful because it is exclusive, vulnerable and genuine. Chances are nobody else but you two will see them, and that makes it extra special.

 
 

It's also a gift for yourself (eheh)

Talk about the ultimate win-win situation: you get to experience an empowering, liberating moment and get a confidence boost in the process, and your partner gets a reminder of how beautiful their special someone is. And it doesn't stop there! Boudoir has many wonderful long-lasting effects that will without a doubt affect your happiness on the positive.

As you can tell, if you are looking for a great way to impress your partner and share something truly meaningful with them, look no further: your boudoir photos will do the trick.

And what a good timing that is when we've set up the perfect boudoir experience for the holidays with our Boudoir Under The Tree special!

Click on the button below to enjoy a discounted mini session and more.

You can also join our weekly love letter to get good vibes in your inbox every Saturday! ⬇️

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Finding sensuality in winter time

Winter is coming with its Christmas’ vibe… and we are very excited about it! In our opinion winter in Canada is magical (well at least when the snow is still white instead of being covered with pollution) ❄️.

The problem with winter here is that it last for a longgg timeee. So many months of cold and grey(ish) weather can easily affects us in a negative way and make us fall in a poor self-care never ending circle. Which, you can guess, is hard on the feeling of being sensual.

 
curvy woman on couch
 

If you want to live your life in the most happiest way possible, it is really important to take good care of your body and mind. In order to do so, you have to put yourself as a priority. Otherwise you let all the stress from your everyday routine take control of your well being. This is when anxiety, fatigue, fear (and all that jazz) show the tip of their nose.

So why is sensuality so important?

It helps to feel in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition.

We know sensuality can be a scary word, as a lot of people think it is only related to sexuality. But it is not! Sensuality is the ability to feel in touch with all of our senses.

Here are 5 ways to feel sensual again in winter time:

Movement

We put this on top of our list because this is VERY important, not only for sensuality but also for your health. So write it down somewhere or take a mental note:

You have to incorporate movements in your routine!

Being “stuck inside", having to work from home and spending most of our days sitting on a chair or a sofa is really bad for our body. It makes our muscles week, creates tightness in our back and neck, and decreases our level of energy.

if you motivate yourself to move your body often during the day, your productivity and mood will skyrocket. And honestly it is an easy habit to create. For example:

  • Do some yoga in the morning and gentle stretching during the day.

  • Take a break from work and dance like nobody's watching.

    Or just move your body slowly and the way you want it, without making it pretty.

Moving your body will make you feel more connected to it and at peace with yourself.

Self-Care

woman standing up eyes closed covering herself with black kimono in front o red wall

Taking care of this body of yours is also primordial. We like to imaging our body is its own little person that needs attention, the same way you will give it to a loved one, a pet or a plant. It needs love and care in order to grow strong and beautiful. Here is how you can give it some lovin’:

  • Put some make up on and do your hair if it makes you feel good.

  • Make yourself a hot bath or get massage to relax.

  • Take the time to moisturize every inches of your skin and feel the lotion deeply nourishing it.

Food

Yes, believe us when we say food as the power to develop your sensuality. There is a common saying french people like to say after a delicious meal:

“It was as good as an orgasm!”

It does not mean we had one while eating, but it means the feeling of peace and joy was the same an orgasm can give you. Quality food is all about flavours. Forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas that can increase your level of happiness and peace :)

  • Learn to cook healthy and tasty meals.

  • Go buy yourself some delicious french pastries.

  • Order your favourite food and take the time to enjoy each flavours.

Sexuality

Even if sensuality is not only about sex, it is an important part of it. In this part we want to talk about self-sexuality and forget about potential partners for a minute.

You have to know your body by heart in order to feel fully at peace with it. You cannot be afraid to touch and look at it, and discover what parts of your body are the most sensitive.

They are so many ways to play with and learn about your body, and by yourself. You can start by lighting up some candles, listen to musics that help you relax or turn you on… it will put you in the mood. Once you have set up everything your way, you can try different things, such as:

  • Breathing exercises and energy movements (this is a bit more spiritual) to help you reconnect with your body.

  • Touch EVERY PARTS of your body, apply different types of pressure or speed. This will help you understand where and how you like to be touched.

  • Be curious about toys (yes even if you have a partner, it can actually be a cool add on to your sex life). You can find a variety of toys: static or with vibrations; different sizes, shapes, colours and texture.

*Little side note: if you are looking to empower your sexuality, we highly suggest to check out Layla Martin work!

 
woman wearing white lingerie laying down on white couch
 

And of course boudoir!

Last but definitely not least on today’s list is boudoir photography. This is the perfect experience to discover and play with your sensuality during a time that is for you and you only! No need to wear a disguise for your shoot, you are the one choosing the vibes you want to create and will bring the outfits and props that make you feel your most sensual-self.

Of course there are so many other ways to embrace your sensuality, you just have to experience and be curious.

Now you know what to do, go make sensuality part of your everyday routine!

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5 mistakes to avoid when taking your sexy pictures

Raise your hand if you have ever wanted to take a spicy photo of yourself and ended up struggling and feeling frustrated and awkward? Yep, been there, done that.

Don't get us wrong, of course you should book a boudoir session with a professional (aka us!). But if you're feeling a little adventurous and are dying to experiment a little bit by yourself with your beloved cellphone, here are a few common mistakes you can avoid.

 
 

1) Too low or too high is never flattering.

This is the main mistake we see when people are taking selfies, they tend to either hold their phone very high above their heads, or very low. Framing your shot with your phone slightly higher than your eye line can be a good idea, to make you look a little thinner, (and show the goods!), but don't put it up completely or you will look like your head is 5 times bigger than the rest of your body. 

Low angles are honestly the devil. Even us as professionals use extreme precautions before considering it. The perspective will be distorted, you will have a double chin no matter what you do. Unless you are mastering the art of low angle, ditch it!

2) Is that your dirty laundry in the background?

I don't know about you, but every time I see a selfie, I am always checking the background. Because God knows I have seen hilarious things there: toilet, food, people (!!), your dog humping a cushion, you name it!

Be mindful of what is behind you, you can have the best body in the world, if there is even the slightest toilet paper roll in that bottom right corner, your beautiful work is ruined.

3) You're not a contortionist and it's okay

Keep your posing simple. No need to put your leg behind your head, wraps your arms in an uncomfortable position you would never do in reality. All you need is to straighten your back, ideally arch it just a bit to bring the girls up, roll your shoulders out and balance your weight on one hip. Boom done. Leave the more complex posing to us, we will guide you accordingly.

Bonus: it helps a lot to have a mirror facing you so you can see what's going on.

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4) The yellow bathroom lights are rarely a good idea

Prioritize natural light, always. Try to face a window as much as possible, avoid the harsh top lighting, it will create some shadows that will give you the ultimate raccoon look. Most of our artificial lighting has a yellow tone too, which is far from flattering.
Bonus: unless you have a super well lit bathroom, stay away from it (+ it will help with the background mistake we just talked about).

5) Watch out for wardrobe malfunctions!

Make sure everything is where you want it to be. The straps, the stockings, the panties, pasties, whatever you are wearing! There is nothing more frustrating than mastering your lighting, posing and angles and having your beautiful brasilian cut panties are waaaay too low (#unwantedbuttcrack)

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Practice and snap away!

Taking your own photos can be really fun, even if you just keep them to yourself! The more you practice, the more fun you will have.

We have also set up an entire online guide to teach you more in depth how you can take your own photos easily with your phone. Make sure to have a look below!

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How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

 
woman wearing pink fur coat with pink hair posing in plants
 

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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Taking intimate photos doesn't make you a “whore”

On the 2022 list of "things we don't tolerate anymore, whatever the excuse is”, slut shaming is in the top 3!

We have heard too many times from people in our community, that some people in their life believe it is inappropriate for a woman to do a boudoir shoot. For example, one of our lovely Scandal messaged us saying how one of her close friends decided to stop talking to her after seeing her boudoir photos online. Long story short, her "oh so scandalous photos" made her look like she was an attention seeker and could not be trusted, especially around said-friend's husband. Mind-blowing, isn't it?

We have a universal truth for you: taking photos of yourself in a sensual setting showing partial, suggested or full nudity, does NOT make you a whore. It makes you a freaking goddess. And it might surprise you, but it has nothing to do with any physical aspects.

 
boudoir shoot of woman wearing only white sure seating behind plants looking at camera
 

There are 3 types of people:

  1. Those who are in the process of conquering their fear of something, anything, by stepping out of their comfort zone. They seek Happiness with a capital H and believe it resides in continuous learning and positive challenges in life.

    They know the recipe but haven't started putting the ingredient together yet.

  2. Those who are a few steps ahead with a few life experiences under their belts, thus have already learnt to develop a "no fucks given" mentality and celebrate the fact that they can be who they really are.

    They have built solid foundations of confidence and it shows in everything they touch.

  3. Last but not least: those who don't dare thinking outside the box and, quite frankly, are pretty scared to explore what's happening on the other side of the white pickets fences of "proper" beliefs they -or their environment- have built for them.

Guess which persona usually reaches out to us? #1 & #2. Why? Because they understand that boudoir photography is far from being just pretty photos. It is a set of tools given to you to start or finish the process of embracing yourself.

Gain some experience points and level up

Asian woman with long black hair kneeing on brown leather couch nude but covered with kimono

By embracing yourself, you are taking the chance to live your life to the fullest, according to your needs.

Here is the super important part: by learning to do this, you are demolishing negative beliefs, you become much better at facing obstacles, you are significantly decreasing any source of anxiety and you trust your guts. You know what you need and are not afraid to do what it takes to make it happen. In other words: you know your worth!

Suddenly, the path to your dream job doesn't seem out of reach anymore. Or you know you can work your ass off to build the home of your dreams.

You will also attract relationships who will respect, appreciate and lift you up. Bonus: you will know how to do the same to others because you can acknowledge other people's worth too.

Think of it as a major level up. We like to think with each skills acquired in life, we have little "xp" points popping up above our heads like in video games. The higher you go, the more tools you unlock to keep leveling up.

So what if you use boudoir photos as a part of your ongoing growth?

There is something to learn in every experiences you go through. We know that and you know it too.

A boudoir experience is just a tool given to you to level up. Grab it, enjoy it a 100%, and take everything you can out of it. For yourself but also others. Because once you do get on the other side of basic beliefs, you will reach your hand out to bring others in too.

That's how strong teams are created and changes are made.

If you have that deep desire to try a boudoir shoot but you don't feel ready to take the first step yet; we created this detailed online boudoir program. It is the perfect opportunity to get a first taste of boudoir photography at home, with just you and your beautiful self.

 
boudoir shoot of curvy woman with pink hair laying down on bed closing her eyes hands on her chest
 

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Boudoir over 40: why you should definitely do it.

Boudoir photography comes with an endless list of benefits that absolutely everyone can enjoy. We can also say that boudoir sparks a lot of interest in everyone, no matter your age, who you identify with, and if you like cilantro or not. Yet, a fear keeps crippling in the back of many people over 40 and it always comes out as a ”I am way too old to do for this".

Obviously no, you’re not and here is why you should consider it big time…

 
 

So, what is really behind the ”I am too old to do this”?

After asking our surrounding, this is what came out: being potentially judged by other people is scary as hell.

Just risking having someone say you look ”ugly” or ”ridiculous” is too much to handle.

And we don't blame you! Bodies change over years. Wrinkles show up, for some, babies have happened, provoking even stronger changes… Your body has become a map of memories and society has told us all that it looks bad and/or that it is not good enough. Fun.

None of the beauty standards are accurate.

breaking free from them is the best gift you can give yourself.

Everyone gets older, you are not doing anything wrong by doing it too. You’ve been putting in the work for yourself, for your body. It has been serving you for many years and it deserves to be embraced, celebrated, welcomed. YOU deserve to feel celebrated.

Following those unattainable standards creates limitations for you and you end up passing on experiences you may not only enjoy but could also contribute greatly to your happiness.

All of this because a random bunch of people decided that you shouldn't, for no good reason whatsoever. We are not gonna let those win now, are we?

 
 

Learning to appreciate your appearance also comes with the strongest perk of all: a rock solide self-confidence which leads to stop giving a rat’s ass about what other people think of you.

With this tool on your belt, you can finally do things for you, in your own terms. Now, that's happiness!

So what can you do in order to get to that sweet spot of self-acceptance?

• Understand that judgment is not about you.

It is about people projecting their own insecurities and fears on you.

We think about ourselves a lot, even when someone tells us a story that has nothing to do with us. For example, if you are mentioning something you'd like to do and the person you are talking to secretly wants to as well but doesn’t have the guts to do it: chances are they will try to dissuade you. They’re not talking about you, you are just mirroring something in them. Now that you know that, it is so much easier to detach from the judgement and not let it influence your decisions.

• Ditch the dummies.

If you get negative feedback on anything you do, you are not the problem. The people giving you the feedback are. And if this is a recurring problem, it sounds like you are not getting anything interesting from those people, the best thing to do is limit or end the relationship with them. You don’t need demeaning people in your life.

• Give yourself permission.

Now that you've ditched the impact of judgement, you have to allow yourself to do things. It sounds simple, but many of us don't.

Remind yourself that the best adventures are waiting for you outside of your comfort zone.

Even if it is just that colourful dress which caught your eye in the window that you would love to wear. There are absolutely NO GOOD REASONS not to wear something that could make you happy.  Don’t even try to justify it, just try to the goddamn dress instead. And don’t you dare dumping it at the bottom of your closet.

Boudoir gives you the chance to try a liberating experience, just for you.

It resets the image you have of yourself on the positive. You get an objective look, which is 100% of the time much better than what we believe - and gives you such a boost of confidence you will be craving for more.

All of this while… giving a great middle finger to expectations. That's always a nice way to satisfy our rebellious side!

Over half of our clients are actually over 40. And that includes women, but also men. You may not see it because many of them ask to keep their pictures private, but they are definitely here. So you are definitely not the only one tempted by the wonderful world of boudoir!

You 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 enough.
How about to start enjoying your life the way YOU want to? Some many beautiful moments await!

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6 unusual inquiries we got for boudoir photography

Once upon a time, two boudoir photographers were having tasty breakfast together. And like most of new entrepreneurs, they decided to open their emails to check on new inquiries like they did every morning. That day they got a new one and happily started to read it, but their joy faded away when they saw the email attachment: a dick pic… They never opened their emails in the morning ever again 😂

 
two women drinking coffee in a vintage coffee shop and laughing
 

We receive a lot of badass and emotional emails, but from time to time creepy and unusual requests are popping up. Some are hilarious, others are disturbing

Scandals, here is our top 6 of the weirdest inquiries we got since we opened Scandaleuse Photography:

N°6 : The dick pic guy

If there is something intriguing with Boudoir and men, is that most of the gentlemen who contact us for a boudoir shoot want to do something more sexual. Which is not a problem! Even if we do not shoot this type of photography we understand everyone has their own fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that. But what is the most disturbing for us is that some men believe we need to see their pee-pee before accepting to work with them. And it usually goes like this:

- Them: “I wanna shoot with you, do you need to see what I look like?”

- Us: “No need to! We do not chose our clients based on their look or body type.”

- Them: sending the picture of big Willy and the twins (with the worst angle and lighting) even thought we said no 😤 But if you really want to show us your joystick, at least do it in an artistic way!

Joke aside, here is a gentle reminder to anyone who want to send us pictures of their genital: just don’t, we really don’t need to see what you look like down there!

It was very tempting to add a moustache and a hat on this photograph and send it back to that particular client. Should we do it next time?

 
 

N°5 : The iPad guy

This made us laugh!

We received a long time ago an email from a guy who wanted to shoot one of his sexual fantasy with us, we don’t remember exactly what it was about. With his inquiry he attached a script of all the scenarios he had in mind, scene by scene with details of what we had to shoot (was it badly written on top of being weird? Absolutely!).

But wait, the best part was that he requested that we shoot only with is iPad. Go figure!

N°4 : The pink blouse guy

One day we were contacted by a man who wanted to do a boudoir shoot for his future husband. His idea was to lay down on a bed made of Kleenex - once again everyone has a fantasy. He was also looking for a wedding photographer but didn't want to tell us the date of the wedding - RED FLAG. The icing on the cake was when he asked us to wear pink blouses for the first meeting, because (and we quote) "the first impression is very important".

Sure! Do you want us to wear a french maid outfit so we can clean your discourtesy off your face? 

We nicely told him we would not do it, so he decided to go with another photographer and apparently found one… Good for him!

N° 3 : The "I like humiliation" guy

This one was probably the most recent one. We received an email from a guy who lost a bet and had to do a boudoir shoot, wearing high heels, sexy dress, lingerie and/or be nude. He had to walk like a model and be shoot in some very embarrassing poses, for his humiliation and women amusement.

We obviously declined, told him boudoir photography is an art, and that we work only with people who respect this type of photography.

But we added we could provide some headshots for professional purpose if he was interested. You have to see business opportunity everywhere right?!

 
two women opening an email they did not want to see
 

N° 2 : The "you need to wear sexy clothes so I can feel turned on" guy

Ooooh man, this was our first weird inquiry. This married man sent us an email because he was looking to do a couple boudoir shoot with his wife. They have been married for 20 years and they were looking to spice up their relationship. We were pretty happy about it since, at that time, we didn't get a lot of couples interested by a boudoir shoot. So he started to explain what he wanted, sent us example of videos and pictures (remember the dick pic story previously, well those were the beginning). His wife had apparently a big and sexual appetite and they were looking for erotic photography. We explained to him this is not the type of service we offer but we could give them sensual pictures without crossing our boundaries.

We were not against working with them, they wanted to celebrate the love they have for each other by trying a new experience.

Unfortunately he crossed the line when he asked us to dress up very sexy during the shoot so he can be more excited. We were happy to not go forward with this inquiry: this couple were the lions, we were the gazelles. 

N° 1: The "let's redo American Pie" guy

And the winner is... (actually my little favourite, probably because I watch all of the American Pie movies)
A man who loved his mom decided to treat her with a boudoir shoot and reach out to us. What a sweet and thoughtful gentleman who was open minded enough to offer this beautiful experience as a gift for his mom. Or so we thought.

We were pretty intrigued so we replied to him asking for more details. Maybe his mom asked him to book the shoot for her, maybe it was a gift for his parents' wedding anniversary, or maybe his mom had self-confidence issues and he wanted to let her out.

We were so wrong, it was not a thoughtful idea but a pretty crazy one:

He wanted some pictures taken of his mom and his best-friend like the scene in the first “American Pie” when Paul Finch is having sex on the pool table with Stifler’s mom. The story never said if it was a spam or a serious request. 

Yes we are photographers whose main goal is to highlight the beauty and sensuality of every bodies, but it doesn't mean we get sexual pleasure out of it. So keep your pants on (at least until the day of the shoot)! We are not part of your fantasy, don't plan to be, and will never ever touch your purple-helmeted warrior of love.  

 
 

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I do whatever I want with my butt, thank you.

A few weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my pole-dancing Instagram stories with a very thoughtful question:

“Why are you doing this? The way you have to show your butt to everyone… What is the point? I just don’t get it.”

Did someone call Judgment to the table? Many of us have a hard time starting facing judgement, especially when we want to start something new.. It is very easy for people to share their 2 cents on how you should live your life. While there is nothing much you can do about their behaviour, you can choose to handle the situation to your advantage.

Detach, to not waste your time.

 
 

So here I was, in my underwear, upside down on the pole, practicing a move, minding my own business. Then this message popped up and I started to wonder:

  • Why am I upside down on a pole?

  • Why am I half naked in my apartment?

  • Why do I share those online?

And so on until my mind was filled with enough random thoughts about my actions to the point that they made me question my entire being.

Hold on a minute here.

This simple message had me doubting myself and my choices? It made me think twice about sharing something that I actually love and that doesn’t hurt anyone?

Hell no.

I realized I had three options. I could:

- Let my anger out and tackled him with my words (tempting!);
- Spend my time starting a debate on how we live in a society where it is inappropriate for women to show their bodies but normal for men and how it is important to change mentality around that topic, or;
- Ignore his remark and keep my cool.

I went for the 3rd option.

Why? Because what this guy wanted was to criticize, not try to really understand and potentially change his way of thinking and beliefs. Getting into a debate to attempt to educate him was very tempting but I just knew it would have just left me feeling frustrated as hell. So I kept my cool, told him I would not go into details and wished him a good night.

 
 

Sometimes, You can absolutely have conversations with people, only if they come from a neutral and curious state of mind. If someone starts saying something with an undertone of judgement, you will not make them change their minds.

So don’t waste your time, and keep doing whatever makes you feel good, especially because…

It’s not about you anyway.

There will always be someone ready to negatively judge whatever you're doing. And the truth is: it has nothing to do with you.

Behind someone’s judgment is an insecurity of theirs shining through.

And they are projecting it on you. You poked at something that is uncomfortable to them. It reminds them of that one thing they wish they could work on but haven’t yet for whatever reason. Is it fair? Nope. Do we all do it? Yes.

Being aware of it gives you the chance to act differently in those situations. It makes it easier to let go of the negativity you are facing and even bring compassion to the table by asking this person what is really going on. (If you feel like it, of course. Again, pick your battles!)

No, detaching doesn’t make you selfish.

A lot of people, especially women, feel incredibly guilty not to listen when someone is giving them “advice” disguised in judgement. That's conditioning for you, the “be a good girl” kind of thing. If this is your case, here is a little reminder that can help: nobody knows your life better than yourself, therefore, the only person who can make decisions about it is… you. It doesn't mean you have to send everyone packing and that you don't care. But it means you don't have to accept everything coming your way.

It does not make you selfish or pretentious if you decide to not give a damn. You know you cannot please everyone.

You want to wear only blue clothes, go for it. You don't want kids, nothing wrong with that. You want to work in the sex industry, you do you my friend (no pun intended - or maybe a little!).

Don't let others dictate who you are just because they believe it is the only and right way to be. What you do with your butt, how you dress, the way you live your life and who you decide to be are your decisions to make.

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What I wish I heard when I hated my body.

Growing up, like many young souls, I wasn't the biggest fan of my appearance. It took me a long time to learn the tools I needed to start respecting and loving my body the way I do now. Looking back, some tools could have been unlocked fairly easily, by one simple sentence and it probably would have saved me years of figuring it out on my own. Hopefully, I get to be your messenger today and deliver them to you.

 
 

1) The way you see your body is rarely the way it actually is.

Clouded vision of our bodies ( and even body-dysmorphia) is the number one obstacle in our body love journey. Due to many factors, such as comparing ourselves or unwelcome criticism, it is very easy to paint a negative image of our appearance, even unconsciously.

For example, in my case, I used to see myself much bigger than how I actually was and I only realized that by looking at old pictures years later. I created so much pressure and shame around my weight, every single day. All I remember, the rare time I brought it up, was hearing the exasperated “ugh what are you talking about?” .

Truth is, I wasn't capable of seeing any differently. This vision was buried so deep, I just didn’t know It could be wrong.

I like to think that hearing the following would have pushed me in the right direction, taught me to develop kindness towards myself and give myself a break. You can try it if someone you care about is bringing up something like this to you:

“Hey, this is very common for people to think this way. You don’t see it right now, your vision is influenced by many things outside of your control. Just be kind to yourself.“

2) Your body changes pretty much every day, and that's normal.

There are so many things happening in your body at once, every day, that can affect your appearance from one day to the next. Digestion, hormonal changes, periods, stress… Everything fluctuates all day, every day.

For example, no one has a flat stomach all day everyday. No one. Not even Britney Spears from 2004.

Knowing this would have helped alleviate the pressure I created around looking a certain way all the time and helped me develop self-acceptance.

3) The size tag on clothes doesn't mean anything, dont let it define you and be a way to celebrate or denigrate your body.

When I was shopping for clothes and did not fit in the size I wanted, it was crushing me for the whole day. I was embarrassed. After all, my girlfriends told me they were wearing this size and I wasn't.

I have had so many moments tearing up in a fitting room because I had to go a size up of what I was hoping for.

If only I had been told that sizing for clothes are not reliable truths and change so much from one brand to the other! I had to learn to detach myself from those tags and use them only as a very rough reference. I still have to remind myself this to this day. 

4) Weight scales are BS.

Since our bodies are constantly changing, it is normal that our weight does too. Just like the size tag, I was always aiming for a certain weight, often based around what my friends said (while completely disregarding their body shape may I add) and I felt like crap when I was way over that.

The day I finally understood that once again, so many factors can influence your weight, making it a not-so reliable source too, I ditched the scale.

A number doesn’t define me. I haven’t weighted myself in years, I don't even know how much I weigh, and I am much happier that way. 

 
 

5) The media is not the reality.

I grew up in the time with Christina Aguilera and other 2000 super stars blasted everywhere with the tiniest bodies on earth in low rise jeans. It made me obsessed about my little tummy pouch. Why did I have one and they didn’t?

And it wasn’t just them, everywhere I looked, it was the same type of body, from magazine to TP commercials.

I wish someone had told me it wasn’t the reality. That editing was involved, that the majority of women don’t look like that, come in all shape and sizes, and that not one is better than the other. That everyone has their little imperfections and again, that they are normal. 

6) The more you take good care of your body, the better your mind will be.

For some, it is common sense, for others, it is rocket science:

the appreciation you have for your body greatly affects your mental health and vice versa.

The happier you feel about your body, the more your mind follows. They don’t go without one another.

In my early twenties, I started learning a lot about personal development and the connection to the body is still not mentioned often. (One of the many reasons why Scandaleuse exists to begin with!). The truth is, you can lead a much happier life when you connect the dots between your mind and your body.

7) You're not alone.

Oh boy, does it sound simple, but knowing that I wasn't the only one feeling insecure as hell would have made such a difference! I do believe that bringing normalcy to the table when dealing with body insecurities and self-doubt is so helpful to stop giving it that much importance.

It is so easy to feed toxic patterns without realizing it. Creating acceptance around them make them less threatening and easier to let them go.

Be kind and patient with yourself, even in your darkest days.

When in doubt, Talk it out, Write it down and more importantly, remember to give yourself a break.

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Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

 
artistic black and white pictures of two nude women surrounded by plants in front of white background
 

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Indian woman wearing black lingerie and red shirt standing in front of window with curtains flying around

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

  • Movement:

    Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

  • Food:

    Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

  • Clothing:

    Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

  • Nature:

    Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

  • Boudoir photography:

    Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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Sharing your boudoir pictures, yes or no?

Boudoir photography is still not well known, and a lot of people don't even know why they would do a boudoir shoot to begin with. For some of those who took the decision to do it (welcome to this beautiful world 😀), the idea of sharing their pictures with other people makes them feel very uncomfortable.

We also have met people who wanted to do a shoot but decided not to because they thought they would have to share their pictures online.

Let's demystify together everything around privacy in the boudoir world.

The choice is yours!

You AND ONLY YOU can decide if you want to keep your pictures private or not.

Boudoir photography can makes you feel vulnerable so you don't need to feel pressured by the photographer, your loved ones, or anyone one else, to share your pictures with the rest of the world.

When you have chosen your photographer make sure to sign a contract or a release option that says you want your pictures to stay private.

Like we said, the choice is yours, so do not let that fear of privacy stoping you from having a boudoir shoot done.

 
non binary beautiful person wearing black strappy body suit with goblin ears and cape
 

Why most people refuse to post their pictures online?

Well, most of the time it comes back to the fear of being judged. We still give too much importance to what others think of us and we easily let their judgment dictates our actions.

Part of those judgment comes from:

  • Their Job:

    They are afraid to not be taken seriously if their coworkers were to see them in lingerie, especially women.

  • Old Beliefs:

    A lot of people still believe nudity is shameful. A lot of women feel the need to cover up because they were told that showing too much skin is not proper or will make them looks like “whores” (ugh we hate that so much 😡)

  • Social Media Haters:

    Words can be painful and some people are very sensitive to mean comments on social media. They are afraid to be harshly judged for their body, or even the act of posting pictures of them in lingerie.

There is also the fear of not knowing what their pictures will be used for, if the photographer were to share them. Once again, this can be specified in a contract between you and your photographer.

What we think as professionals and women

Even if we understand why privacy is really important for some people, we always suggest to not be afraid to post your pictures online. You will be surprised in a great way. Here is why:

  • Inspire Other People

Older woman looking at herself in mirror wearing only a thong and golden necklace

This is the first thing that will happen. If you post your boudoir pictures online (or any other experience you try that are a bit more “scandalous”) you will motivate people around you to do the same. We have so many past clients who came to us because their friends did a boudoir shoot. They were so proud to see the pictures and loved to hear the boudoir story that they wanted to do the same.

EACH OF OUR CLIENTS INSPIRED ANOTHER ONE, WE ARE IN A SENSE ALL CONNECTED BY THE LOVE OF BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SOMEONE'S MUSE?! 

  • Boost Of Confidence

Sharing your pictures on social media can seem superficial but it is actually a great way to boost your confidence. We usually forget that the way we see ourselves is different than the way others see us. It is not because you judge yourself badly than others do. Honestly the chances are you will get amazing feedback from your loved on those pictures (not that you need approval from people but it always feels good to get compliments on either the way we look or the fact we did a boudoir shoot).

And true fact, none of our Scandals ever got negative feedback.

There is also the fact that when you dare doing something you were afraid of (or that not a lot of people do) and you get compliments from it, your confidence grows.

It makes you feel powerful, free, and you just want to keep getting out of your comfort zone to achieve even more.

  • More Scandals For Our Portfolio

We love sharing our work with our community because this is how we inspire people to do a shoot for themselves. We need examples to showcase the beautiful people we took pictures of, and make people understand they don't need to be a certain age, body type, or gender to try boudoir photography.

To conclude: sharing or not your pictures is a personal decision. You can absolutely keep them 100% private, but if you decide to post them online do not feel ashamed, ever! Just do what makes you feel comfortable in the moment, you can always change your mind later 😘

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I edited my photos and I regret it

If you follow us on Instagram, you saw that Fanny and I shared some of our earliest work as photographers. What was meant to be an endearing, loving and funny post brought out an interesting realization for me: I am not able to tell on which photos I edited my body. And I deeply regret it.

The quick fix of photo editing

I started fiddling with editing softwares when I was about 15, back in 2007. At first, it was just to create little emo montages to put on my blog (yes I'm this old).

Then, I found some tutorials to alter reality and change proportions. And of course, my deeply insecure teenaged self didn't wait 2 minutes before applying it to my face and my body. Like many teenagers, my weight was the main source of my insecurities. So I went to town, shrinking my waist, my cheekbones, my legs and removing anything I thought was a flaw.

Did it make me feel better? For a split second, absolutely. I got the outside validation from my peers, I convinced myself it was better this way, which was enough for me. I was actually quite good at editing and nobody noticed. Plus, it was the early days, our eyes weren't used to spot this kind of editing.

What I didn't realize is that I was heavily feeding my insecurities.

 

2012 - No idea if I edited myself or not, deleted the original.

 

The danger of building an alternate you.

Slapping filters, changing your body: it is never just a one-off.

Once you start, it only gets worse. It is never enough. Think about it, you found an easy way to fix one "flaw", of course you are gonna find ways to fix another. And then you gonna dive in into parts of yourself you didn't have anything against, but it needs to match the rest of the edited you so… a vicious cycle begins.

I distinctly remember snapping a little auto-portrait when I was about 16 and editing everything so much that I ended up changing the size of my eyes. The. Size. Of. My. Eyes.

I remember looking at this and thinking "who the f*ck is this".

This was one of the first steps that rang a bell to me and said “Jules, you went too far". I never published this photo and I wasn't able to find it, chances are I deleted a few years ago because of that reason.

You would think that this would have led my path to self-acceptance, that I stopped editing and unicorns started dancing around me. HA!

Nope. I just transferred this virtual version of me to my real life.

 

2011 - Edited my waist - Beautiful proof of my body-dysmorphia as I found myself fat.

 

I wanted to be this virtual version I created in real life.

I got that editing was bad for me but not for the right reasons. I twisted this to "I can't edit myself anymore because it makes me feel bad, so I'm gonna change my body in real life". This was the peak of my body-dysmorphia journey and it lasted way until my mid-2os.

I was just "too fat", all the time. Losing weight didn't make a difference, i didn't see it.

It started impacting my every day life, making me not eat before taking photos, not letting people take pictures of me, controlling everything as much as I could, something that I still do to this day when I'm feeling unsafe. I am extremely lucky that I didn't develop obsessive eating disorders, I honestly have no idea how I dodged it with this way of thinking.

Walking away from this required a lot of different seeds to stop acting like an idiot.

 

Many of those amazing women we get to work with on the daily.

 

1) Letting others show me.

We are in 2011. I am photographing more and more women I find absolutely stunning while they don't technically check the beauty standard boxes blasted in front of us. They're confident, they're open about their insecurities and they don't let them dictate their lives. I see them shine during my shoots and I'm impressed.

they planted the first seeds in my brain that I could actually accept myself the way I was too.

Then I meet other women just as beautiful but not as confident and it blows my mind. I find myself believing in and encouraging THEM to shine. And I must be doing something right because it works and they believe me. Even more so, a fire starts within them and I'm loving it.

And one day, it clicks: if I see their beauty at first glance and they don't, is there a chance I'm doing the same for me? Just like that, I planted the next seed: the one that shows the lack of accuracy of negative self-talk and that I shouldn't let it take over.

2) Starting aerial silks and changing my perspective.

By this time, we are in 2013, I'm 21. I haven't edited my body in years, but instead, I simply hide it in every way I can. Out of sight, out of mind. But I'm about to plant another seed for myself without knowing: I start aerial silks.

What's the point, you may wonder?
It made me see that my body is a strong ass one, more than just an appearance.

It starts changing too, it gets fitter, things I didn't know was an option. I don't see it as much as a flawed thing anymore, it impresses me. I knew that I had to capture that in case it faded away, so I can have a keepsake. So I did. I still have this photo in my apartment and look at it often.

 
 

3) Opening Scandaleuse and stopping the hypocrisy.

I'm 25 now, I'm just starting to embrace myself the way I should. Fanny and I are brainstorming ideas about Scandaleuse. We both have this deep passion around highlighting women's beauty, especially when they don't see it.

Boudoir is the way we chose but it is still much easier to do it for others than myself. So before we even opened anything, something pushed me out of my comfort zone and I asked Fanny to shoot my first ever boudoir shoot to know what it would feel like.

Of course, I fell RIGHT BACK into my old habits: I asked to shoot at 7am to make sure I wasn't bloated, before I had eaten anything. I had a very hard time to let go and I even edited some photos (“it was just some unflattering shadows” (no it wasn't))

 

Photo from this shoot. Pretty sure I edited my stomach here.

 

Not only did it make me feel like absolute garbage to do this but this was also the first time Fanny told me I was wrong, in calm, almost sad, way.

You see, I had never anybody who actually told me that. I have had people dismissing my concerns with the flicker of a hand many times, but no one actually sat me down and tried to tell me that I might see myself in the wrong light, especially someone I deeply trusted. Fanny planted one of the biggest seeds I needed and I don't think she knows it. I'm so glad she did.

I realized I couldn't open a business about self-acceptance and kicking beauty standards in the balls if I wasn't willing to do it myself.

And if there is one thing that I can't accept, it is being a hypocrite.

It was even more important than my insecurities, it just wasn't an option. From this moment, I decided it was time to change. I never edited myself again after this.

So, is it healed?

Mostly, yes. But I don't believe it will ever go away fully. I still have moments when old habits come back and I'm tempted to edit something or cancel a shoot because I feel fat. But I force myself not to. I force myself to look at it all because going backwards would make me the biggest hypocrite, and like I said, this isn't an option.

And you know what? The “flaws” I see one day are rarely here the next. Because that's how it works with insecurities: they depend on many other factors that have nothing to do with your body. Understanding this as helped me DETACH from it all. I'm not feeling my best? It's okay, it will be back.

There you have it. This is probably the blog post that took me the most energy. Writing this all is leaving me with a deep sense of appreciation. I've come a long way and will need constant reminders, but it's okay. If you are on the same boat, I hope reading my story will help. And of course, if you feel like you're ready to get the ultimate kick in the butt with a boudoir shoot, we are here for you!

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