How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

• Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

• Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

• Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

• Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

• we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

• we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

• we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

• So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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Your closet is full of boudoir treasures.

One of the common misconceptions about boudoir photography is the fact that you have to wear the classic lingerie set during your shoot. FALSE!

Well, if it is what you really want to wear of course you can. There are gorgeous set of lingerie that are perfect for boudoir. But you can also wear so many other pieces! Anything can be turned into a boudoir outfit, all you have to do is to show some skin. You can be creative, mix and match different pieces, wear clothes you bought once but never wear because they are too “extravagant”, too colourful, or too sexy.

You don't have to play by the rules

It is very common to focus on your femininity if you identify as a women, or focus on your masculinity if you identify as a men, which is totally fine if it is what you prefer. But those are not rules set in stones. Unfortunately, there are a lot of stigma around femininity and masculinity, so often people don't dare to explore this hidden side of their personality. Whatever you identify as, don't be afraid to play with both of your masculine and feminine side.

If you are a men, you could for example wear a dark colour robe with heels. Or maybe wear some makeup, such as eye shadow. For women, you could try wearing a leather jacket, your hair up, and take a masculine attitude.

There are plenty of creative ways to embrace both side, without choosing to be cliché about them. See photography as a game, an experience you will try only a few times in your life, so you might as well have fun. The pictures are for you, at the end of the day you treat yourself the way you want.

You don't have to choose only one persona

Contrary to popular belief, we all have different personalities coming out depending of our mood, life events, weather,… So why would you stick to only one persona during your shoot?

You don't have to choose between being cute, badass, or sexy, be all of them! It is the same idea style-wise. During your shoot you can absolutely go from a cosy vibe, to a sultry and mysterious one. And maybe finish your session with some artistic nudes. If you do a shoot with us, we will tell you to bring a big suitcase with you, full of different pieces :)

Rock your wardrobe

Here are a few examples of what to bring. You will see that most of the items listed below are pieces you can easily find in your closet:

Bodysuits:

Those are our favourite pieces. Why? Because they look fabulous on every type of bodies, and you can find in so many different cuts and styles. On top of that, if you feel a tad uncomfortable with your belly, it will help to show it without uncover it completely.

Jackets & coats:

Those are great pieces to rock different styles (femme fatale, rock,…). We usually suggest to go topless with them, or depending of the length of the coat, to go fully naked. It is perfect to create some sexiness without showing to much.

High panties:

You can combine a high waisted panty, with pantyhose, and a bra or sweater, to a create a “flash dance” outfit. Or even the high panty, with a blazer and some pearls, for a totally different style.

Dresses:

Dresses are really pretty in boudoir, especially if they are see-through to play with your silhouette, and flowy to add some movement. Not sensual enough? Grab the bottom of your dress to show some thighs, or put one of the straps down to be more playful…

Jeans & pants:

Those are always a must, especially for men. Wearing a jean or pants, and being topless is such a great look for everyone.

And so much more…

Everything in your closet can be used for boudoir: faux fur shawl or jacket, blouses, shorts, corsets, skirts,… It is not about the cloth itself, it is about how you use it, and with what other pieces you combine it.

Don't forget the accessories as well: heels, jewelry and props, are a great addition to your outfits. We had Scandals bringing their most colourful necklaces, highest pleasers, bottle of whisky or wine, cheese platters, fruits, their pets (how badass it is to have your dog posing next to you for a shot?), and other amazing accessories.

Doing a boudoir shoot is the opportunity to take time for yourself, have fun, and let your amazing, badass, and sensual-self out. It is by letting go (of pressure, expectations, and judgment) that you will be able to relax, do all the things you wanna do, and live life by your own rules 💪

Check out some outfits ideas below:

Why did we open a boudoir photography business?

Hi you!

We are Fanny and Juliette, two frenchies living in Toronto since 2013, and Scandaleuse Photography's mommies. Today we want to re-introduce ourselves in case you are new in our community or you want to know more about us.

A little bit of our personal life.

31 and 29 years old. Capricorn and Pisces. Both spiritual and vegetarian. When we are not shooting our badass scandals, you can find us climbing a pole or doing some drops (sounds weird, let us clarify: two of our favourite hobbies are pole dance and aerial silk 🎪).

We have been friends since 2009. Our strong friendship started near Paris, in photography school. What helped us bond? Probably our love for vino & cheese, and coffee & pastries (food, food, food… on n’est pas françaises pour rien!). Also the fact we are both bold and pretty stubborn was a big trigger for what we are about to tell you…

Throwback summer 2012: we were both in transition. Between being done with school, not knowing what to do next, and a big desire to get out of our home country. We had that idea to go live in London (England) but without really a moving date in mind. Early September, same year, I received a call from Juliette:

“I found cheap train tickets to London, departure in 2 weeks, what do you wanna do?”

I probably thought about it for 3 seconds, “let's do it!” I said. Suitcases packed, 2 weeks later we were in the train to London, nothing else ever felt so natural before that. It was meant to be!

Then, Scandaleuse was born!

Our time in London was a lot of fun (with a few struggles on the road, but those are part of any adventures), until it was time to change country again. Our choice: Canada 🍁.

Moving forward 2015, Toronto (if you want to know the details about London and our move to Canada, click here):

After spending 10 years working for other people (yes, we started working at a young age!) in divers field, we had that huge craving to open our own business rather than keep working for other people's dreams.

The only obstacle standing in our way (beside the fear of starting this big project 😱) was for me (Fanny) to get my permanent residence, which took me a while to get but eventually made it happen!

Remember when we shared about our love for food, well we took the decision to open our business over coffee and pastries (we also found the name over food… and most of our tons of ideas)!

via GIPHY

So why boudoir photography? Why going for such a small niche instead of the traditional portrait or wedding? Well for a few reasons:

• We were both fascinated by the woman body while being in photography school and we were kinda shooting boudoir already without knowing it was called boudoir (the story of boudoir photography is very interesting, check it out here).

• We are not traditional women to begin with, so choosing to do another type of photography just because it will be easier was not our jam. We like challenges, and on top of that we love to do what we are passionate about!

• But most importantly we wanted to change the face of boudoir photography that was (and unfortunately still is for most studios) not very inclusive. All we could see was those gorgeous and photoshopped professional models, standing on beds, in hotel rooms, in either very cute poses or sexual ones.

We were honestly tired to only see what we just described. Since nobody was making a change, we decided to shoot boudoir in our own way:

Making it accessible to every genders, body types, and ages!

We wanted to create an experience where people would be able to be 100% themselves, and where they could learn to like their body THE WAY IT IS. Then something magical happened… We realized that on top of creating beautiful images and spreading body love, we were also changing our scandals’ life. Because boudoir photography is not just about having beautiful pictures of yourself, it makes you feel like you can conquer the world and go after what you want in life. We are lucky to stay in touch with most of our clients, who share their life transformations. A few months after their shoot, we heard people quitting their job, leaving their relationship that was not working anymore…

When you take the decision to strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else can stop you from building the life you want 😄

Boudoir photography is a powerful experience that transforms you in a such amazing way, and makes you want to live your life fully. If you never try, we highly recommend it.

Even if Juliette and I made it happen with hard work, patience, and perseverance, we are so grateful to be able to follow our passion, and meet badass people with different style, and life story.

if you are not part of our community yet, FEEL FREE TO JOIN US ON OUR INSTAGRAM OR SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER TO GET NEWS & UPDATES!

How to set yourself free with Michelle x SheDoesTheCity

This article is part of our collaboration with She Does The City & Womanizer, in which we help them feature fierce AF womxn in boudoir photo shoots.

We’re thrilled to have Michelle for our final boudoir feature of 2020, because her energy is frankly what the world needs more of. We’ve been following Michelle for awhile on Instagram and she’s someone who always lights us up and makes us smile, be it from her humour, her glowing confidence, or dance moves that pop off the screen. We’re big fans.

Tell us a little about yourself…

I’m a queer midlife mom championing for diversity, inclusion and equality.

Professionally I’m a communications geek, multi-disciplined educator, social activist and content creator. I’m also very passionate about womxn’s rights advocacy and can often be heard speaking on issues facing marginalized communities, radical self-acceptance and self-reinvention.

How did doing this photoshoot make you feel?

It was truly a liberating and empowering experience. Juliette and Fanny made me feel very comfortable and at home during this photoshoot. This was my first time ever being a model and they were professional, patient and kind every step of the way.

When it comes to feeling good in your own skin, what advice would you give to your younger self?

I would tell my younger self that you could be the juiciest, yummiest peach and there will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches. That doesn’t mean that you’re not a delicious peach. You’re perfect.

What always puts a smile on your face?

My daughter.

What turns you on?

Independent womxn who enjoy their own company and have a quiet confidence about them. Womxn who are authentically themselves, goal-oriented, love adventure and have a quirky sense of humour. Yummy.

What has become an important part of your self care routine during COVID?

Self-care? What’s that! I’m still trying to implement a self-care routine in my life but, I would say not dating is my biggest form of self-care right now.

Loving myself and my daughter is my number one priority at the moment.

What lesson or idea is currently helping you on your path?

When people show you who they are, believe them.

What small things help you get through winter? Or what are you planning this year to help you?

Conversations with loved ones, self-pleasure and comfort food.

How would you describe your sexuality?

I identify as a queer femme/lesbian. I am attracted to different genders, but with womxn is where I feel most at home.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Give zero fucks. It will set you free.

Hell yes, we love this last advice! Do not hesitate a minute to live your life by your own rules and don't be afraid to become unapologetically you.

And we have something just for you that will help you get there! We have put together 6 easy tips you can use now to better your life. All you have to do is click below to get them!

Own your identity, armpit hair or not.

Get ready for this universal truth: we all have hair. Everywhere. And you've probably heard at least once in your life "you should remove it", "it's gross", "why do you care?" "all natural baby!" "Aren't French people hairy anyway?"(oh wait, that one is for us eheh). It's time to unleash the truth.

Hair, no hair; does it really matter?

A couple of months ago, Marion Seclin (a french influencer we are following on social media), was talking about the fact she did a photoshoot with a brand who edited her hair out on Photoshop, without notifying her. She said she took the decision 4 years ago to let her hair grow naturally and she was very angry about the studio’s behaviour:

The decisions concerning YOUR body belongs to YOU and you ONLY.

By photoshoping her hair out, without her CONSENT, that brand violated her right to be the individual SHE DESIRES TO BE. They disrespected her life's choices. And for what? Because they felt like she didn’t match their standards. Standards usually imposed by the media, fashion industries and beauty companies.

Nobody should tell you what is the best for you (either on a physical or mental level). Hair or no hair doesn't make one single difference. If people are telling you the opposite, you might not want to have them in your life.

Your body's decisions must be made based on your opinion. not others.

If you choose to wax every 3 weeks or not, it should be because it makes you feel great that way and not because you feel like you HAVE to do it.

Story time: We had a wonderful photo shoot with Léa Castor in Paris. She stopped removing her hair a couple of years ago, because she realized that she wasn't really doing it for her, but for her lover at the time. She said that she wanted to start loving her hair the way it actually is, but it was hard. Not because she thinks it looks ugly but because of society: she felt like people will judge and criticize her.

When we first talked about her session, we really wanted to showcase and do close-ups of her hair to tell the world "hey see, it's not bad at all!" but it turns out that we just focused on her as a person like we always do. And guess what?

No one actually noticed her hair and for the few photos where you could actually see it, it just looked great.

By not making the hair the main focus and sticking to our way of shooting (about the actual person and not her physique), we just made it normal.

We didn’t bring attention to it because we didn’t think it defined her fully anyway. And no one cared either.

Building your identity despite expectations: damn that's hard.

But damn, it is worth it. Being able to live your life the way you want to is the best feeling in the world.

You feel in harmony with your values, you can take on anything, it is pretty much the road to your long-term happiness. Jackpot.

However, from the minute you will start making decisions to be fully yourself, you are going to have to face… the Others.

They could be friends, family, anyone who feel like sharing their 2 cents about whatever it is you are doing for yourself and they are probably against what you are doing. And this makes the whole process for building your own identity very challenging.

This is when you have to stick to your guns. Why? Because any critics about your journey is actually not about you. It’s about whoever says them. They are simply projecting their own insecurities and fears on you.

People who don’t feel like they are giving it all in their own lives are going to try to bring down anyone who tries.

Read that again.

• You want to start weight-lifting and you are hearing “ugh you're gonna be so bulky, it’s not feminine”?
• You want to learn a new skill and you hear “oh, I know someone who tried and they failed, it was so hard, you’re not gonna make it.”
• You want to let your damn hair grow and they’re like “this is just gonna look gross, why do you do that to yourself?”

They are not thinking about YOU. By you trying something new and different, they just have no excuse not to and it makes them very uncomfortable. Because they have to face their own fears and limiting beliefs.

So don’t take it personally. Don’t let them bring you down. Keep being true to yourself. This is your life.

A little recap for the road:

• Living your life being fully yourself is possible for everyone.

• Decisions about your body are only yours to make.

• People who are criticizing your decisions are not talking about you but about themselves.

Are you ready to move forward and become the best version of yourself? We can help you. Join us on January 1st and become Limitless.

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Do not let procrastination take over!

Procrastination is a big and scary word, nobody likes to be told or think they are being lazy. But we all know how easy it is to let ourselves go in any aspects of our life: relationship, life goals, business… It does not mean we are actually lazy or we do not care anymore, usually it is something we build with time and without noticing. Slowly but surely we have been developing bad habits and at some point it just hits us, trust me when I say it is an awful feeling!

Starting 2019 with "Panache”

I wanted to start 2019 in style, so beginning of January I wrote down a lot of new goals in my notebook, I especially wanted to work on being more self-disciplined and I was 100% motivated to achieve it. One of the first one was to travel alone: BAM! Two weeks later I was in Costa Rica by myself, celebrating my birthday and making new friends (I even met a new gorgeous scandal for a boudoir shoot). I came back to Toronto with clearer thoughts, new ideas and ready to conquer the world!

By the way, this feeling happens when you get out of your confort zone and try new experiences. Yes it is scary at first but once it is done, you feel so powerful and confident; you can do everything.

Hit me baby one more time

I kept that fire inside me until about two weeks ago when I started feeling down, unmotivated and not really healthy. Then few days ago it just hit me (and man, it was painful, I felt guilty!): I realized I have been letting myself go for a few months. Yes I was full of ideas and new goals but I wasn't working to make them happen. Business was busy, which was a bit unbelievable for winter time, so I focused on the tasks I had to do, I focused too much on the short term and forgot about long term plans. I have slowly been pushing back projects I was supposed to work on or business skills I wanted to learn. Those bad habits affected not only my business life but my personal one too:

• I stopped cooking healthy meals (I am a vegetarian so I have to be careful to replace properly the nutrients I don't get from meat anymore), the result: iron deficiency = a week an a half of intense migraines and fatigue.

• I replaced reading by watching tv shows (Netflix is temptation!).

• My workout has been the same for the past 2 months instead of learning new fitness and aerial silk tricks.

• Do you remember my 2019 goals I was talking to you about? Well I haven't opened that notebook since I wrote them in!

To make it short, I STOPPED LEARNING…

Your brain is a muscle

We always remember to feed our body. If we don't, it doesn't take too much time before having a low energy, headaches, dizziness… But we have the tendency to forget our brain is a muscle we need to take care of. We need to work it out and feed it with knowledge if we do not want to see negative effects on the long term.

When you make your passion a business, unfortunately you can easily lose your creativity, you have to challenge yourself all the time: I am not gonna lie, it can be very tiring… So you take a break, you relax. And it's when you let go too much you start building procrastination. All it takes is to find the perfect balance between work and pleasure. I am not able to remember the last time I watched a documentary, discovered a new photographer, went to an art exhibition or learn something new. I am not a lazy person, I am the opposite: always working hard, curious and motivated. But somewhere and for some reasons on the road, procrastination showed up and stayed warm and cozy.

The first step is to notice

Procrastination's guilt is an awful feeling. So when you catch yourself procrastinating for too long you have to change your activity right away, just stop and do something that feels right! If this step is too difficult for you then ask someone in your loved ones who will let you know if you f**k up. I try to not beat myself up because nobody is perfect but I refuse to use it as an excuse to stay in this vicious circle.

The secret against laziness:

Some of you are probably gonna feel disappointed because I know you are waiting to read an advice which will change your life… Please do not hate me but unfortunately there is no magic trick! You have to force yourself to do stuff! Whatever it is you try to achieve, you have to kick your own butt to be successful. FIND YOUR OWN MOTIVATION.

Use your brain!

Never stop learning, think, have ideas, keep yourself active, build up your energy and consider your body as a temple because if you are not healthy then it will be difficult to be proactive.

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Heidi, when strength meet kindness

Hello dear scandals,

We all feel how winter in Canada can be tough sometimes, the lack of heat and sun after few months starts to have a negative impact on our mood. So it can be a great idea to take few days out of the country: one of us went five days to Costa Rica and it was incredible. The goal of that short trip was to get away from Toronto and take some me-time… You guys know how hard workers we are and how it is difficult for us to disconnect from work. Well we have to confess, it was hard to not take the opportunity to do a boudoir shoot in paradise and work with a new lady… So we had to do it :)

We posted a message on a facebook group about a boudoir shoot idea and Heidi was one of the first to reply. Even though we did not know her, she was the one who stood out and we new from the start we wanted to shoot with her. What a meaningful encounter: her story was inspiring, we always love to hear about other business owner's experience and life. Plus she has an incredible personality, beauty… PERFECT COMBO!

Meet Heidi

Everybody has a story, I think that’s one of the things I enjoy the most about meeting people in Costa Rica. Here we are in this little beautiful country, together, talking and forming friendships, discovering how much we have in common and yet we all have a different back story about what led us here.

Costa Rica, 5 years ago

I went there for the first time to celebrate my partner’s and my 50th birthdays.  We planned a double vacation – some skiing and boarding in Whistler for the first week, and then straight to Costa Rica to learn to surf. Tamarindo….such a neat place! My partner could already surf and had tried it in many other exotic locations, but this was a first for me and I don’t even skateboard or snowboard… Yikes! Well, I survived surf camp and could actually say I could surf afterwards!

That first trip led to another and another and another, at least twice a year, enjoying the beach, training every day, surfing and always pondering eventual retirement and speculating about what little business could be started here to fill a niche.

At first we thought about a coffee shop, or more specifically, a mobile coffee cart – because at that time there were only a couple in town. Needless to say in 5 years there are probably 14 now…. so that was a good pass!

How Gilliepops was born

One thing that seemed to be lacking was treats of any sort that weren’t laden with sugar or milk and specifically cold frozen treats. Popsicles… Yes, that became the focus and ultimately Gilliepops was born, named after my late daughter, who passed away a few months after our first trip here.

Lots of brainstorming, creative thinking and marketing ideas, and in November 2017 I arrived in town with a bicycle, a cooler, my Vitamix and a couple of giant duffel bags filled with popsicles sticks, moulds, labels and packaging supplies. It was new and exciting, and at times very disappointing and stressful. I ate a lot of tuna and eggs that’s for sure but what an amazing experience! I even added gluten free baked goods to my repertoire and it seems the tourists and even locals can’t get enough of them. It’s awesome!!

Thanks to social media

Business here in Costa Rica is done differently that in North America.  It’s less formal and much of the communication is done either on Facebook or Whatsapp.

Because of the dependency on Facebook for business, I’m forced to check it daily and post often to encourage awareness of the availability of gluten free products here. This is when I saw Fanny's post about her visit to Tamarindo. I sent her a few suggestions, I think because I knew she was from Toronto. When she mentioned being a photographer and looking for someone to photograph while she was here, I jumped at the opportunity – there are almost no pictures of me here because I’m on my own. And what a beautiful place to be photographed.

Its been a couple of years since I’ve done a photo shoot and never when I wasn’t ready to compete (I’m a physique competitor), but I thought it would be nice to be captured as my regular self, my natural self, a little smoother and softer… tan lines and all…! The shoot was amazing – the view from the location we chose was so beautiful and the pictures she took are so flattering and beautiful.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have met one of the Scandaleuse's team, the time we got to spend together talking an sharing our stories.

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Dealing with trauma via boudoir photography

A few months ago, we flew back to our home country, France, to do one of our Boudoir Bash in Paris. We met a lot of wonderful Frenchies there, including the exquisite Nora. The first time we talked with her on Skype, she opened up right away about her motivations to do a shoot and her story moved us.

Having someone telling you about her past is quite emotional and this is why we love being boudoir photographers. It gives us the opportunity to work and help people to win back their confidence and even better, their self-love.

We are no therapists but we know that in some cases, photography can help heal consequences of a traumatic event such as abuse, assault, harassment and other traumas who have left you confused about who you can see yourself.

My name is Nora, this is my story…

“Let's start talking about my fear… I know, pretty unusual for people who know me!

My biggest fear is actually one of my family member, so it makes it really complicated to move forward, to liberate myself from this situation. Even though I haven't seen this person in years, I know that, deep inside, we might see each other again.

Yes, I grew up but I still have that fear to see his face, the way he looked at me, or even worse, to awake those bitter memories of his physical and psychological hits.

All of those years by his side can be summed up with tears and this feeling of helplessness against a man way stronger than me. To me, it sounds like a trivial story, so I tell myself “there is probably worse stories than mine.”

I grew up surrounded with machismo & the “alpha male” spirit. One day I had no other choice but to escape this life. I gathered up my strength and I left. I needed to get away as far as I could from this person, this source of fear. It was love that helped me to take this first step and put a temporary "band-aid” on what was haunting me.

Inevitably, the consequences of this sitution with this member of my family remove completement all of my self-esteem.

Being constantly put down during the first decade of your life makes you forgetting about who you are very quickly. However, time goes by and we try to rebuild ourselves after all, even if we have to put our loved ones aside.

I do not have this person in my life anymore. I have been with someone who listens to me and understands my past, who pushes me to thrive as much as I want for the past few years.

With time and maybe without noticing it, I was attracted by those women who are self-confident and whom by art, politic and culture were able to accept themselves the way they are. This is how I had the idea to use boudoir photography as a way to heal myself.

The Boudoir Shoot

What an unforgettable experience! A moment of peace where I was able to forget about my problems, all of my "flaws” and more importantly, my demons. It was just a magical therapy!

Posing in front of the lens made me realize that the qualities I was admiring in others were also part of me. I was able to win back what I thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be myself anymore.”

This magical moment had a real positive impact on my life and I don't want to stop here as I have more ideas to keep feeling unstoppable. I have to say it would have been much harder without Fanny and Juliette's help.

“I am beautiful”

Thank you to the man who I have been sharing my life for the past 5 years, it is because of him I am still thriving!

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FRENCH VERSION

Je m’appelle Nora, voici mon histoire

Commençons par parler de ma peur, chose inhabituelle pour ceux qui me connaissent je sais.

Ma première peur, la plus grande, est un membre de ma famille. C'est donc compliqué de s'en défaire, de s'émanciper, car même si je ne l'ai pas vu depuis de nombreuses années, je sais qu'au fond de moi nous nous reverrons un jour sûrement.

Oui, j'ai beau avoir grandi, j'ai toujours cette hantise de revoir son visage, son regard et surtout de réveiller amèrement les souvenirs de ses coups tant psychologiques que physiques.

Tout ce temps à se côtoyer durant toutes ces années se résume aux pleurs ainsi qu'à un sentiment d'impuissance face à un homme bien plus fort que moi. Mon histoire me parait banale et je me dis alors "qu'il y a certainement pire que moi".

J'ai donc grandi dans ce contexte de machisme, du "male alpha" à la maison. Un jour j'ai eu la force de m'enfuir loin de cette vie, je n'avais plus le choix, il fallait mettre une réelle distance avec ce qui incarnait cette peur, une rencontre amoureuse m'a confortée évidemment dans cette démarche. Ce qui m'a permis de mettre dans un premier temps une sorte de "pansement" sur ce mal qui me poursuivait. Fatalement, ces déboires familiaux, dû à cet individu principalement, m'ont enlevé toute estime de moi.

Être constamment rabaissé durant vos premières décennies de vie vous font "très vite" oublier qui vous êtes, mais le temps passe et on tente malgré tout de se construire même si cela implique de (se) priver (de) ses proches.

Je ne partage plus ma vie avec cette personne avec qui j'étais partie à l'époque. Depuis quelques années je suis avec quelqu'un qui m'encourage à m'épanouir comme je l'entends, il a particulièrement su m'écouter et me comprendre. Inconsciemment peut-être, je me suis doucement intéressée à ces femmes qui s'assumaient, s'acceptaient au travers de diverses façons (art/politique/culture). L'idée d'accepter mon image et de faire un shooting photo m'est alors venu.

La séance Boudoir

Une expérience inoubliable ! Un moment où j'ai oublié tous mes soucis, tous mes (potentiels) défauts et surtout, tous mes démons ! Ce fût ni plus ni moins une thérapie magique.

En se prêtant au "jeu de l'objectif", j'ai pu constater que ce que je pouvais admirer chez les autres, je pouvais aussi l'apprécier et le retrouver chez moi. Je pense avoir, presque malgré moi, crié aux monde entier "je suis moi et n'en aurais certainement plus honte !".

Ce moment "magique" m'a réellement fait du bien, m'a donné d'autres idées encore et rien de tout ça n'aurait été si parfait sans Fanny et Juliette.

" Je suis belle "

Un énorme merci à l'homme qui partage ma vie depuis plus de 5 ans, grâce à lui je grandis encore!

Birth Control Pill: A little devil

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about the birth control pill. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Ladies and gents (I do have some hope that men can also be interested by that topic!), today's blog post is about my experience with the birth control pill, why I decided to stop it and it's impact on my body 11 years later…

When I Sold My Soul For Beauty Purpose

2007 was a great year: first boyfriend and sexual blooming, beginning of adulthood… This was the reason I started taking the birth control pill, “Jasmin” if I remember correctly. Unfortunately when I was 17, I had a lot of migraines and also a strong acne, “Jasmin” wasn't strong enough for my body. So I decided to follow my gynecologist advice which was to go for one of the strongest hormonal pill, perfect against acne and migraines: Ladies and gentlemen, the famous “Diane 35", let's sadly acclaim it.

Big mistake! But I was young and looking for an easy way to feel prettier. I was really ashamed of my acne, all I wanted was to get rid of it. I just wished my doctors would have told me about the risks and side effects of those pills…

Before taking the pill

5 months after taking the pill

The Results Were Beyond Expectations

If there is something I cannot complain about, it is the result and efficacy: my acne was gone few months after I started taking it and the migraines were less intense, it was honestly a relief. On top of that, they helped regulate your menstrual cycle and the main purpose of that pill was also a success, I never got pregnant. You got it, I am not complaining about their efficacy against pregnancy. The birth control pill is a great contraceptive as long as you don’t forget to take it. Unfortunately the side effects and risks on the woman body are pretty scary.

But for 11 years I was never aware of those side effects. This is why the "pill” is sneaky: you usually do not feel how unhealthy it is, at least I never felt it.

So why did I stop?

As you may know, two years ago I became vegetarian and it is now important for me to take care of my body and be careful with what goes in and out. It is my way to feel confident and respectful of it! Stopping the pill was obviously another step towards taking less chemical, since I did not want extra hormones in my body anymore (If you wanna learn more about this topic, I found this very interesting article).

To make it short, the birth control pills is a combinaison of two hormones: estrogen and progestogen, that eliminate ovulation and prevent pregnancy. It changes your natural hormone balance, tricking your body into thinking it is pregnant all month.

I also never like having to take a pill every day because I have sometimes forgotten to take them (oh and I guess reading about those women who died from blood clotting in their legs, sudden blockages in their lungs, bleeding in their brains and chest pain before death, did help me with that decision…) Anyway, in January 2018, I took the decision to change contraception and go for a non-hormonal copper IUD. I went to my family doctor to talk with her about that decision, her advice was to stop the pill and wait until my next period to have the IUD inserted. Which I did…

Another big mistake, I should have never ever stoped the pill right away! In one month, I went from 11 years of intense synthetic hormones to natural ones. Of course it was a shock for my body, my doctor should have told me about it. The consequences? I developed a strong acne in a couple of months and my menstrual cycle was all over the place. I feel like a teenager again and I now have a lack of confidence because of that acne. It has been less than a year I changed contraceptive and my body is slowly getting use to it, but it will take few years before the level of acne decrease.

Why I like non-hormonal contraception

First of all, big shout out for the Copper IUD, it is so convenient. I am not gonna lie, the insertion was painful but it lasted only a couple of minutes and I do not have to worry of getting pregnant for the next five years. What if I want a baby in two years? The doctor will just take it out!

My body has changed a lot since I switched birth control method and I have now “real” and natural cycles, which includes unfortunately: cramps and irregular, heavier and longer periods. But it also had 3 positive impacts that are really worth it: I am feeling less emotional, my sex drive increased a lot and I am more lubricated (don't laugh, it was pretty frustrating in the past!).

I have no regrets of that change and do not plan to go back to birth control pills. There are so many contraceptives on the market, you should not have any problem to find the perfect one for you. Talk with your doctor or gynecologist about it and most important: do your own research.

Now go make love and viva la sexualidad!!

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We were nudists for 3 days

We took 3 days off this week, in Tiny Ontario to relax at our friend's cottage. A short and sweet escape by the lake, more than deserved! We hiked, relaxed, had some wine and for the first time in our life, we went swimming and laid down in the sun all NAKED.

THE FIRST STEP WAS EASY TO TAKE

From the moment we put our first step on the wooden dock, we knew it would be all about relaxing and taking time for ourselves. There was cottages on each side of where we were staying but no neighbours. So I had a loud thought: "I think I will be topless today!" and here we go taking off our tops and enjoying the sun. It took us only an hour before removing our bottoms and trying nudism for the first time.

The first ten minutes were a bit difficult to adjust, especially because of the fear of having neighbours going in their backyard and seeing our little white butts. But once you decide to not give a damn, it is just 100% enjoyable.

SUCH AN EPIPHANY

If you have never tried it before, you cannot imagine the feeling of the wind and water everywhere on your skin, on each part of your body. Such a feeling of freedom!

We were never really attracted by the idea of being naturist, first because the breasts' skin is very sensitive and the idea of having it exposed in the sun wasn't attractive. Second, we are not used to walk around butt naked and taking the risk of being seen by potential strangers. But holy guacamole, we have zero regrets. We spent half of our time in our birthday suits and we loved every minute of it!

LET'S THANK BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY

Being boudoir photographers and helping people feeling comfortable in their own skin, change the relationship we have with our body. It is not something we would have done a year ago, even though we saw our mothers being topless on the beach in France many times (yes it is super popular back there). Thanks to the media that sexualized the human body, we forgot the human vessel is just a protection for our organs and sometimes you need a good reminder: it is not all about sexuality!  

There is nothing to be ashamed of

Another reason why it is not common nature to walk around butt naked is because you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. You can't hide behind a flattering bathing suit, everything is out there. It takes a lot of work on yourself to face your body that way because of your own standards, but mostly because of other people's eyes. Our advice would be to start as privately as possible, so you can start feeling comfortable with yourself first. Then, if you feel like it, try it maybe topless with people you trust. And then keep going. Don't miss out on such a nice feeling. It literally changed the way we will tan from now on.

I feel reconnected with my body and closer to my wild side. Being naked does not make you feel more vulnerable, it is an amazing way to feel badass and free. And to avoid those nasty tan lines.

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