A few months ago, we flew back to our home country, France, to do one of our Boudoir Bash in Paris. We met a lot of wonderful Frenchies there, including the exquisite Nora. The first time we talked with her on Skype, she opened up right away about her motivations to do a shoot and her story moved us.
Having someone telling you about her past is quite emotional and this is why we love being boudoir photographers. It gives us the opportunity to work and help people to win back their confidence and even better, their self-love.
We are no therapists but we know that in some cases, photography can help heal consequences of a traumatic event such as abuse, assault, harassment and other traumas who have left you confused about who you can see yourself.
My name is Nora, this is my storyโฆ
โLet's start talking about my fearโฆ I know, pretty unusual for people who know me!
My biggest fear is actually one of my family member, so it makes it really complicated to move forward, to liberate myself from this situation. Even though I haven't seen this person in years, I know that, deep inside, we might see each other again.
Yes, I grew up but I still have that fear to see his face, the way he looked at me, or even worse, to awake those bitter memories of his physical and psychological hits.
All of those years by his side can be summed up with tears and this feeling of helplessness against a man way stronger than me. To me, it sounds like a trivial story, so I tell myself โthere is probably worse stories than mine.โ
I grew up surrounded with machismo & the โalpha maleโ spirit. One day I had no other choice but to escape this life. I gathered up my strength and I left. I needed to get away as far as I could from this person, this source of fear. It was love that helped me to take this first step and put a temporary "band-aidโ on what was haunting me.
Inevitably, the consequences of this sitution with this member of my family remove completement all of my self-esteem.
Being constantly put down during the first decade of your life makes you forgetting about who you are very quickly. However, time goes by and we try to rebuild ourselves after all, even if we have to put our loved ones aside.
I do not have this person in my life anymore. I have been with someone who listens to me and understands my past, who pushes me to thrive as much as I want for the past few years.
With time and maybe without noticing it, I was attracted by those women who are self-confident and whom by art, politic and culture were able to accept themselves the way they are. This is how I had the idea to use boudoir photography as a way to heal myself.
The Boudoir Shoot
What an unforgettable experience! A moment of peace where I was able to forget about my problems, all of my "flawsโ and more importantly, my demons. It was just a magical therapy!
Posing in front of the lens made me realize that the qualities I was admiring in others were also part of me. I was able to win back what I thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world โI will never feel ashamed to be myself anymore.โ
This magical moment had a real positive impact on my life and I don't want to stop here as I have more ideas to keep feeling unstoppable. I have to say it would have been much harder without Fanny and Juliette's help.
โI am beautifulโ
Thank you to the man who I have been sharing my life for the past 5 years, it is because of him I am still thriving!
FRENCH VERSION
Je mโappelle Nora, voici mon histoire
Commenรงons par parler de ma peur, chose inhabituelle pour ceux qui me connaissent je sais.
Ma premiรจre peur, la plus grande, est un membre de ma famille. C'est donc compliquรฉ de s'en dรฉfaire, de s'รฉmanciper, car mรชme si je ne l'ai pas vu depuis de nombreuses annรฉes, je sais qu'au fond de moi nous nous reverrons un jour sรปrement.
Oui, j'ai beau avoir grandi, j'ai toujours cette hantise de revoir son visage, son regard et surtout de rรฉveiller amรจrement les souvenirs de ses coups tant psychologiques que physiques.
Tout ce temps ร se cรดtoyer durant toutes ces annรฉes se rรฉsume aux pleurs ainsi qu'ร un sentiment d'impuissance face ร un homme bien plus fort que moi. Mon histoire me parait banale et je me dis alors "qu'il y a certainement pire que moi".
J'ai donc grandi dans ce contexte de machisme, du "male alpha" ร la maison. Un jour j'ai eu la force de m'enfuir loin de cette vie, je n'avais plus le choix, il fallait mettre une rรฉelle distance avec ce qui incarnait cette peur, une rencontre amoureuse m'a confortรฉe รฉvidemment dans cette dรฉmarche. Ce qui m'a permis de mettre dans un premier temps une sorte de "pansement" sur ce mal qui me poursuivait. Fatalement, ces dรฉboires familiaux, dรป ร cet individu principalement, m'ont enlevรฉ toute estime de moi.
รtre constamment rabaissรฉ durant vos premiรจres dรฉcennies de vie vous font "trรจs vite" oublier qui vous รชtes, mais le temps passe et on tente malgrรฉ tout de se construire mรชme si cela implique de (se) priver (de) ses proches.
Je ne partage plus ma vie avec cette personne avec qui j'รฉtais partie ร l'รฉpoque. Depuis quelques annรฉes je suis avec quelqu'un qui m'encourage ร m'รฉpanouir comme je l'entends, il a particuliรจrement su m'รฉcouter et me comprendre. Inconsciemment peut-รชtre, je me suis doucement intรฉressรฉe ร ces femmes qui s'assumaient, s'acceptaient au travers de diverses faรงons (art/politique/culture). L'idรฉe d'accepter mon image et de faire un shooting photo m'est alors venu.
La sรฉance Boudoir
Une expรฉrience inoubliable ! Un moment oรน j'ai oubliรฉ tous mes soucis, tous mes (potentiels) dรฉfauts et surtout, tous mes dรฉmons ! Ce fรปt ni plus ni moins une thรฉrapie magique.
En se prรชtant au "jeu de l'objectif", j'ai pu constater que ce que je pouvais admirer chez les autres, je pouvais aussi l'apprรฉcier et le retrouver chez moi. Je pense avoir, presque malgrรฉ moi, criรฉ aux monde entier "je suis moi et n'en aurais certainement plus honte !".
Ce moment "magique" m'a rรฉellement fait du bien, m'a donnรฉ d'autres idรฉes encore et rien de tout รงa n'aurait รฉtรฉ si parfait sans Fanny et Juliette.
