Stop limiting yourself

If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

So now, which one are you?

Let us know if this blog inspires you to kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and how you plan to do so!

And don't forget to sign up to our newsletter to not miss out on any content we send… We promise not to spoil you with too many emails :)

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Overcoming Fear

Have you ever asked someone why they are not moving towards one of their dream? Most of the time they will find a strong excuse to cover the fact, that deep down, they are too afraid to do it (maybe they are not even aware of it). Does it sounds familiar to you? Of course it does, we all do it!

It is unfortunately common to settle in a life that is not meant for us. Depending of where we grew up, our education, people we surround ourselves with and our life traumas, we all have deep fears that are stopping us from making our dreams a reality.

What is fear exactly?

If you check Wikipedia, you will read that fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological and ultimately behavioural changes, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.

It is a fundamental and deeply wired reaction every species feel and is meant to protect organisms's integrity and/or existence. Fear may be as simple as an hissing cat, or as complex as existential anxiety for humans.

It is an important emotion because it makes us take actions to protect ourselves when we feel in danger, it also creates adrenaline rushes some people might need in order to “feel alive". But it can also negatively impact every decisions we take and stop us from experiencing unknown situations.

Are we born with fear?

Yes, but only two innate ones: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. It is in our genes to have those natural instinct to keep us from getting killed.

Of course the more we grow up and experience life, the more we start to develop other fears which are triggered by real threats from past or present events and traumas, but also from imagined dangers such as other people's experiences and the media.

The most common fears against success

There are plenty of fears and phobias but today we want to talk about the most common ones that are stopping us from being successful.

Failure:

We live in a society where failure as a bad reputation as we only celebrate victories and success but not the struggles along the way. Because of this shame to fail, many people will refuse to experience something new unless they are confident they can win. It is a vicious circle for procrastination as in order to not fail we avoid even trying.

Even though failing can have awful consequences, you can also learn a lot from it. You get emotionally stronger and have more courage to keep trying. It helps you grow by questioning your current path and the mistakes you have done so far.

Rejection:

Nobody likes to be rejected! We take it so personally when it happens because it makes us feel like fools, makes us believe there is something wrong with us and increase our frustration from not getting what we want.

Is it really worth to miss out on opportunities because you don't want to take the risk to have your ego bruised? At the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen is that you get a “No".

Change:

Even though changes are part of our lives as we live in a world that is in a constant evolution, a lot of people are afraid of changes. They often feel like they have no control over their lives due to those changes. So they become stagnant, live in the past and are unwilling to move, to progress or change anything from their routine.

Allowing yourselves or your life to change is one more step closer to freedom and happiness. Do you know what the good news is? It can start with just a few baby steps!

Being Judged:

How many time did you stop yourself from doing something because you were afraid of other people's judgment (put your hand in the air if you are guilty of it!)? This intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by others affects every aspects of our life: work, school, social events and any day-to-day activities. It also impact the way we and others perceive ourselves.

When you feel like one of your action is being judge by people, remember they judgment is based on their own live. What works for them does not have to work for you (and vice versa).

Inadequacy:

Not being good enough. Story of our lives isn't it? A lot of people believe they do not have the necessary qualities and abilities to achieve something or to deal with life in general and have this feeling they don't measure up to other people. To overcompensate this fear, they generally criticize themselves and try to be perfectionists.

We all have our own strengths and flaws. Stop comparing yourself to others and become your own measurement system.

Do not let fear take over your life. It is too precious to be put on the side.

It might take time, commitment, money or risks but it is worth it. You deserve to experience and live the life of your dream but only YOU can make it happen.

Sign up for our newsletter below to get a weekly boost of inspiration by other amazing people and allow us to empower the hell out of you! ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

5 reasons why you should do a boudoir shoot for your partner

While the best reason to do a boudoir shoot is definitely for yourself, you can also truly enjoy sharing these precious risqué photos with your special someone. We can all safely admit that when we feel beautiful, proud and confident, it does feel extra good when someone else can see it too.

Here are 5 reasons why you should consider sharing your boudoir photos with your partner:

1) The ultimate surprise effect

Many people would never expect in a million years to receive professional boudoir photos of their partners. Especially if it is not a habit of yours to snap some spicy selfies, giving such a unique gift will definitely lend you the best-gift-ever gold medal. Seeing your loved one face light up with surprise is such a bliss to witness. And with this follows…

2) To make them feel extra special

Boudoir photos are the proof that you stepped into vulnerable and intimate experience. You sharing the outcome with your partner is a privilege. You didn't have to do that, but yet, you've let them in, creating an even stronger bond between you two. Talk about feeling special!

3) To bring out more confidence in you that they will get to enjoy too.

It is no secret that confidence is attractive as hell. By doing a boudoir shoot, you will get a strong confidence boost that will spread on everything you touch. Yes, your relationship too!

4) To step into your sexy self that they will (definitely) love too!

The above also applies to your sensual side, side often buried deep under our every day lives. If anything, we get so caught up in daily routines, it is rare that we maintain this oh-so-pleasant feeling of being sexy. Maybe you never really felt it either and you made the great decision of experimenting (yay, you!). Not only will you enjoy a confidence boost, but you will also get a strong sexy boost! Everyone enjoys seeing their partner in a different light here and there, especially when it involves their (almost) naked bodies!

5) To give them a spicy reminder that you're a hot stuff, my friend!

This applies even more if you have been with someone for quite a while. Even if there is a lot of love between two people, sometimes, it happens that we forget how attractive our special someone is. Well, try giving them boudoir photos and let the reminder that, yes, they are with a sexy beast, sink in!

If you are ready to dazzle your partner with beautiful photos of yourself, take advantage of our Christmas deal! We are offering 50% off on our sessions for the occasion, as well as including some free goodies!

Does boudoir photography make you feel nervous?

Is doing a boudoir shoot on your bucket list but you keep pushing it back because you feel nervous? Maybe it is your first time and really don't know what to expect. Or maybe you have done one in the past and want do this experience again, but your body has changed and it’s stressing you out?

If so, keep reading. This blog is definitively for you!

Don't give up on the idea of doing a boudoir shoot just because it makes you feel nervous

It's the middle of the afternoon and you need to take a break from work. So you open your Pinterest account to check out your boudoir board and daydream about the day you will finally do that shoot. You scroll down all the beautiful images you have been saving over the time, picturing yourself rocking your fav outfits. When suddenly that happy moment is interrupted by nasty little voices in your head:

“I don't know how to pose, I will look ridiculous!"

“I am not fit enough, I have to lose weight before doing that shoot!”

“I am too old! It is such a bad idea.”

Your confidence is decreasing, your heart starts racing, your palms are sweaty, and your chest is getting heavy. So you quit Pinterest telling yourself it was such a bad idea to begin with, and shut down your desire to try boudoir photography.

It is normal to feel scared or anxious about new experiences, but you should not give up on a dream because of those negative feelings. When you do, you miss out on tons of new opportunities, badasseries, and discoveries. Especially for boudoir as it is so much more than getting pretty pictures:

It is about giving the middle finger to fear, judgment, and expectation!

And honestly, it makes you feel like you can conquer the world (if you can strip down in front of a stranger, nothing can stop you!).

via GIPHY

90% of our clients are first timers, and have all felt nervous before their shoot. We don't blame them! Boudoir photography can be a vulnerable experience. Most people have so much shame and anger towards their body that the idea of showing more skin than they are used to is scary for them.

We also have clients who did a boudoir shoot in the past, but since, their body has changed (they got pregnant, gain/lost weight, got new scars, or just aged) and it has ben very difficult for them to accept those changes.

In our opinion boudoir is one of the best way to learn to accept and see your body the way it is: naturally beautiful.

Let's destroy those negative beliefs and clichés that are stopping you from experiencing boudoir photography

If you stressed out with the idea of doing (or re doing) a shoot, it is probably because you have a negative image around your body or about boudoir photography. Today we want to destroy those limiting beliefs so you can finally let go and experience more things in life (and book your shoot 💪):

• “My body is not beautiful enough.”

This one is huge and definitively has to go. If you have this thought, please stop for a second and remove it from your mind. You are freaking beautiful! And yes we know what you are thinking: "How can you know, you don't know what I look like?!".

First of all, beauty is beyond the physical plan. If you are kind, compassionate, and care about other things than yourself, then it shows on the outside.

Second, they are many kind of beauty in this world. It is not because you don't follow the “usual" beauty standards that you are not beautiful.

Last but not least, boudoir photography should not be about showcasing only one type of body. Opening Scandaleuse was our way to change the game in the boudoir world and make this beautiful art accessible to every shapes and sizes.

• "I am not photogenic."

False. Everyone is photogenic. What you are is not being comfortable in front of a camera. And that is ok! Take the most beautiful person in the world, if that person were to feel really uncomfortable about herself and during the shoot, the finale pictures will not be remarkable.

This is why we believe it is very important to choose a photographer that will match your vibe. It is not just about liking their work but also feeling comfortable with their energy. If you feel you cannot be yourself with a potential photographer, then find a new one.

• “I am not a model.”

Nobody expect you to know how to pose. It is our job, us photographers, to guide you along the process. When you work with Juliette and I, we take the time to demonstrate each poses we have in mind, we make sure you feel comfortable doing them and if not we show you other variations. We also make sure to pose you accordingly to your body type and the vision you have of your shoot.

We know posing is not easy. Believe it or not we have been in your shoes. Like you, we have felt really awkward the first time we had to pose 😬.

To help you relax, see this shoot as a fun experience, something you will try a few times in your life. It is a moment between you and yourself, no one is here to judge you.

• “I am too old.”

There is this misconception around boudoir photography that is only for people in there 20's / 30's. This is absolutely false! We have had clients doing a shoot to celebrate their 60th birthday or just to rock their 50's. The only rules that applies in the boudoir world is to do it for yourself.

Age should not be an excuse to stop experiencing life!

• “I am transgender, I guess boudoir isn't for me.”

Many people think boudoir is only for cisgender women. This common belief does not surprise us because most photographers, especially male ones, still offer traditional boudoir sessions (overly photoshopped women, on a bed in an hotel room, doing sexualized poses). Even if those sessions attracts one type of clientele, it does not reflect what boudoir photography truly is and most importantly, it does not make boudoir inclusive.

For us boudoir is for anyone, doesn't matter what you identify to. You should not be rejected by any professionals because of your gender.

Take a deep breath, you got this!

Now that you know that, yes, you can do a boudoir shoot (because there is absolutely no criteria to stop you from doing it), you can put it back on your dream list or even book your shoot now! To make this process even smoother, check out our blog about everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot.

If you still feel nervous about it and are not sure if you are ready to try boudoir, then take your time to do more research. Don't book last minute, it is not a race. The more you rush into it the more stressful it gets. And once again, make sure to find the best photographer for you, someone who will make you feel very comfortable.

This shoot should be a fun and empowering experience. You will see that once you book yours, the excitation will replace the anxiety. So go for it 💋

We would love to stay in touch and have you in our community of badass people. Sign up to our newsletter below for more tips and tricks (we promise to not send you more than two emails per week!) ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Back to school: How to keep a positive body-image and stay sane

We are only a few days away from September, also known as the “back to school/get shit done”. For many of us, this is when we feel the shift for a new year. We are going back to to-do lists, productivity boost and even some resolutions so we can ace everything.

Don't get us wrong, we LOVE all of the above. It feels new & fresh. But it is very much mind-oriented and boom, just like that, we forget above all the love and work we have put into on our body-image until we wake up feeling crappy about it.

How can you keep building or maintaining your good-body image when you are about to shift your focus & all the fall treats are just around the corner?

Before you keep going, if you struggle with your body-image, you may want to check those other posts out:

- 📖 You deserve to love your body (again!)

- 📖 What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

Alright, let's dive in! Here are 5 tips for you to keep giving some loving to your hot’bod’ and stay sane!

Enjoy the damn treats.

Life is short and it is definitely not made to go on a drastic diet every chance you get. After summer, especially if you feel like you “let yourself go”, you may feel some anxiety now that the summer bubble has burst. If you feel the need to re-balance, sure, but don't stop yourself from enjoying all the beautiful treats that come with fall. Enjoy your Pumpkin whatever with a smile!

Remind yourself that you don't have to change anything if you don't want to.

It is so easy to fall into setting crazy expectations for yourself in this kind of back-to-school energy. Everything is a question of balance: you can ride that wave and create new little habits here and there if you feel the need to, but we are personally not on the team of “let's change everything because that way, I will be smarter, stronger, wonderwoman.”

Don’t create pressure on yourself or add extra weight on your shoulders. Think slowly, but steadily, just like the Tortoise! 🐢

Don't hide behind layers

You didn't gather the courage to wear all your summery outfits to go back to using clothes for hiding rather than for pleasure! Keep wearing whatever outfits make you feel amazing, especially because Fall fashion is lovely and then we all turn into puffy Barbapapas in winter.

Try something new (like -ahem- a boudoir shoot!)

Instead of thinking “I'm gonna become the most organized person ever”, how about “I should try something I've always wanted to do!” ?

Of course, we suggest trying a boudoir session, you know, before the tan fades away! 😉 Not only it is a great experience that gives you a huge confidence boost, but it is also one of the best ways to appreciate your body! If you are intrigued but unsure what to expect, you can have a look here or sign up for our newsletter below!

Create or maintain your self-care routines

Take advantage of this back-to-school energy to either:
– Create a new self-care routine that works for you, or;
- Make sure to keep a close look on the one you already have!

Summer is synonym of relaxing time for most of us. We're not afraid to spend extra time to take care of ourselves. Good news: it doesn't have to stop! Even if you can't sunbathe under the sun anymore, who says you can't replace it with something equally enjoyable?

Keep taking breaks, spend some “doing nothing” time, hell, schedule a massage for next week or something!

There you have it, you are now ready to keep your body-image on the positive side while kicking some butts! Now, go take care of yourself.

Keep in touch with us and get more some tips to rock your body & exclusive deals! ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot

Is doing a boudoir shoot tickling your fancy? We don’t blame you, it’s an awesome experience, and yes, you should try it! Before you hop on this wonderful adventure, allow us to share with you some good pointers (and likely remove any concerns!)

1) Always, always, always safety first!!

We can't stress this enough: do not find your boudoir photographer on Craiglist or Kijiji. Don’t even try, it is never a good idea. Always go with professionals who have a clean website, reviews, and social media. We have already gathered some very helfpul tips regarding your safety here, feel free to give it a look!

2) That boudoir shoot should be for you first

We are going to be very honest with you, doing a boudoir shoot only for your partner isn't a good idea. Of course it can be a great bonus and they usually love to see the result, but the core reason should be around YOU (especially if it is your first shoot ever).

Boudoir photography is a very empowering journey and makes you feel like you will conquer the world (once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else can stop you 😉), but it is not the most easy experience. For most people it is a huge step out of their comfort zone, which can make them feel vulnerable.

On top of that, boudoir pushes you to see your body through someone's else “eye”, there is a big part of letting go of control.

When you do something for someone else, you hope that person will love the outcome. So instead of focusing on you and enjoying the process, you will end up stressing out because of someone's else approval (and that is not the goal of boudoir photography!). Boudoir photography is all about growing confidence, getting some me-time, and the benefits of doing something empowering.

It is also important to know WHY you want to do it. If you are unclear about why you are even here in the first place, chances are you won't be able to fully enjoy the experience, which could lead to disappointment. You don't need to have a clear vision of what you want or set ideas (we actually love when our clients go with our flow as photographers), but you need to know why you are doing it: what are your expectations, how do you want to feel after your shoot…

3) You do not need to know how to pose

Do you have to be a professional model to do a boudoir shoot? Absolutely not!

You don't even need to have any experience in posing. This is our job as photographers to guide you and pose you accordingly to your body type and the vibe you want your pictures to have. You can experiment at home if you wish, to see what angles you like best around your pretty face and body (we created a complete boudoir guide if you want to learn to take your own pictures at home), or you can just improvise the day of your shoot if you feel like it. But you should not be left alone in front of the camera without any directions.

THE GOAL FOR YOU IS TO BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE SHOOT FREELY, AND NOT BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD WONDERING IF THE POSE YOU HAD TO COME UP WITH ON THE SPOT LOOKS GOOD.

4) You don't need to wear the classic lingerie set

Every outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, no exception. You just have to remove some layers to show some skin and boom, done. You don't have to fall into the traditional lingerie outfits if it is not your jam.

PICK YOUR OUTFITS AROUND HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL RATHER THAN LOOK.

Rock a blazer with heels if it makes you feel confident, hop in a loose sweater and cute panties if it makes you feel feminine. Get creative, experiment, get those outfits you bought many moons ago and never wore (you know those pieces in your closet such as jewelry, shoes, or clothes, you never dare to wear because they are too fancy, colourful, shiny…). You need to look like you on your images, not like you are wearing a disguise.

(By the way, our online guide as a great styling video giving you tons of examples and you can get its costs credited towards a session!)

5) Nudity is not mandatory

Do you have to show some skin for a boudoir shoot? Yes, it's not a headshot session. But that doesn’t mean you have to show suggested, partial or full nudity if you don’t want to. If you want to stick to badass outfits, then great! If you feel like trying some sort of nudity, go for it, it’s such a powerful feeling.

IT IS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE, FROM BEGINNING TO END.

But it is not a decision you have to take in advance. To let you in on a little secret, a lot of our clients don’t actually know if they want to try nude photos or not, and that’s absolutely okay. You can totally decide the day of the session and see how you feel.

6) The getting ready part of the shoot is so exciting

Putting your outfits together, thinking about your looks, creating a Pinterest board with poses and anything that catches your eyes, prepping your hair & makeup… All of these are SO much fun to do!

Grabbing last minute outfits and props right before leaving for your session is not a good idea. We suggest to take some time getting ready for your shoot. Dray-dreaming about the all experience is part of the journey and a great way to build up excitement!

7) Last but certainly not least: a studio should not force you to share your images online

If you are paying for a custom shoot and there is a clause in your contract stating that the studio will own the rights to your images (basically they can use your images wherever you want), don’t sign it if you want to keep your pictures private.

We believe privacy should be respected and we understand that not everyone are ok to share their pictures online. This is why we have release options available, so you can pick the option that works the best for you.

OF COURSE WE LOVE SHARING OUR WORK, THAT’S HOW OUR COMPANY GROWS, BUT TECHNICALLY, IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP YOUR IMAGES PRIVATE IF YOU WANT TO.

You are also allowed to change your mind. If you do so, have it in writing somewhere, for both parties, so there won’t be any risk of miscommunications.

WE HOPE THIS WAS A HELPFUL MINI-GUIDE OF BEFORE BOKING A BOUDOIR SHOOT! BEING AWARE OF ALL OF THE ABOVE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE.

Not ready to do a shoot yet? Sign up to our newsletter to never miss out on any tips and tricks, events, or special offers ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

The power of femininity

We live in a masculine world, where femininity is often seen as a weakness. We focus on goals, the future, security, and protection, when we should also live more in the moment (which is one of the feminine traits).

But femininity is powerful, when you dig into it you become more aware of your emotions, your body, and the world around you. It also makes it easier to connect with others and create more meaningful relationships.

Femininity VS Masculinity

First, let see the basics to understand the differences between masculine traits and feminine ones:

• Masculinity is more about drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence.

• Femininity is more about empathy, connection, caring, and nurturing others. It is also being in touch with our emotions, which in society eyes makes feminine people “too sensitive” (which is in common beliefs a sign of weakness 😡).

Traditional Gender Stereotypes

It is getting a tad better now, but we still live in a society where our gender at birth determines which of those two traits we should have: if you are born as a female you should be feminine, and if you are born as a male you should be masculine, period.

This, combine with the description of those traits above, created stereotypes such as boys should always be strong, brave, and should show no signs of weakness. While girls should always take care of others first, and are expected to be fragile creatures who need protection.

But masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with genders as we ALL have both within us. It is a question of balance, like the yin and yang, salt and pepper, wine and cheese… The two go hand in hand!

Even though there is usually a dominant one, embracing both femininity and masculinity is absolutely possible. THERE ARE NO RULES! You can even switch which one is on top depending of a situation, your mood, people you are with…

Nasty Clichés Around Femininity

If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to destroy common false beliefs. So today we want to demystify some clichés around femininity. Why? Because clichés stop people from personal growth. Following false common beliefs is the best way to stay stagnant in life, but since you are reading this, it is probably because you want to thrive instead right? 💪

Here are some of those nasty clichés (we had to make a Tiktok out of it!):

If you cannot watch it, here are the most common ones:

• You have to be girly to be feminine. FALSE!

  Femininity is an attitude, not a look.

• Being feminine = being weak. FALSE!

  You can be feminine and move freaking mountains.

• You cannot be feminine and masculine. FALSE!

  We all have a masculine and feminine side, we are just not used to show both.

• If you are feminine, you won't be taken seriously. FALSE!

  Being feminine doesn't undermine your skills.

Femininity is a way of being, you decide how to implement it in your life. And it is the same for masculinity.

To conclude: as usual you do you! Doesn't matter your gender, if you feel like being masculine on Mondays and feminine on Thursdays, then do it. Times are evolving, and we finally have the experience and knowledge to change those beliefs. We might as well start now!

Did you enjoy what you read? Don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter below :)

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

One step closer to body acceptance

Raise your hand if you see your body as a blob.

Raise your hand if you are having a hard time to find more than 3 nice things to say about your body.

Raise your hand if looking at yourself in the mirror is hard…

Now step up if you want to change that!

Well my friend if you are reading this, it means you already made the most difficult part of your body-acceptance journey: being ready to finally love yourself fully. Give yourself a nice pat on the back!

Let's start with the basics

It is primordial for your well-being to learn to accept yourself fully, which means not only in a mindset way, but your body as well. We know it is tough to do, but trust us when we say it is needed.

First you need to understand that your body is a vessel that protects all of your organs, muscles, nerves… Without it, we would not Be. Be grateful for that, and for all the amazing other things it does for you: such as keeping you strong, making you able to experience life…

When you are able to see your body as an ally instead of your enemy, you are able to give it more love. And that is the second step.

Befriend your body

We have heard so many people talking sh*t about their body:

“I disgust myself."

“I am ugly.”

“I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs, less belly,…”

The list goes on. And it breaks our hearts every time we hear those sentences. Would you tell all those awful things to the people you love? Of course not, so why do you say it to yourself!

Break the clichés

Accepting your body the way it is does not mean loving your body 24/7. Nobody can. Do you know why? Because the way we see our body is mental. So if you are having a bad day, or you are in a bad mood, this will impact the vision you have of your body, at that moment. It comes in waves.

It is actually even harder as females, because we work in cycle, meaning our hormones affects our mental a lot. We can a be roller coasters of emotions.

via GIPHY

Even the most confident person in the world will have moment when they don't have a good body image, and that's ok. So give yourself a damn break!

You deserve to see how beautiful you are

And unleashed that sexy beast within you. We know you want it ;)

Accepting our body for what it is is difficult because we have been conditioned to believe that beauty standards imposed by the media are the norms to follow. It is not!

It is time to ditch the numbers, and other ridiculous standards.

Your weight, the size of your breast, your cellulite, your abs, all of those don't define if you are beautiful or not. Beauty is so much deeper than our physical appearance and it starts with the way we see ourselves.

Body acceptance is understanding that you don’t need to change anything in order to be beautiful. It is about finding beauty even in the parts of your body you like the less.

We've been down that road and we know it is not an easy journey. That is why we decided to create an online workshop to help you get there faster.

Join us on August 7th and 8th for our online workshop and be ready to finally embrace your body, reclaim your femininity, and tap into your sensuality. Grab your Early Bird ticket and get an extra 20% off with the code "SCANDALEUSE20” ⬇️

You deserve to love your body (again)

We all have body insecurities. Yes, even that person in the corner that you think is perfect, they very likely doesn't like something about their body. Those can become bigger and bigger everyday and can really impact your life on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be. If there is one person can hit the brakes on those, it is you.

In order to develop body-acceptance and give yourself a break, there are a few things to consider and myths to debunk:

No, You don’t have to “LOVE” your body all the time (and it’s really hard to anyway)

With movements like body-positivity being spread around and sometime, used as a marketing tool, it is very easy to believe that if you don’t love your body every single day, then you’re “failing” at it. To be honest, we believe that it is impossible to love your body constantly, because we, as human and especially as women, are not feeling the same constantly.

We work in cycles, are guided by hormones & emotions and Those fluctuate on the daily, as they should. So you’re gonna have good days, and not-so-good days, and it is absolutely normal.

Instead of beating yourself up, spiralling and thinking that you’re just an ugly duckling during the not-so-good days, aknowledge them, remind yourself they will pass, try to stick to a healthy routine and give yourself a break.

Your body changes all the time.

On top of having our moods changing from one day to the other, our bodies can change on an hourly basis. Take our tummies for example, usually a soft spot for many people: you can wake up with a fairly flat belly and boom, 2 hours later, it’s doing its things and you’re bloated. Your body is always working and we need to stop being hard on it for doing so.

Instead of focusing on just the way your body looks, focus on nourishing it and giving it what it needs. By just doing that, you will slowly start to appreciate it more and more, and your vision will change on the positive.

Enjoy those pleasantly surprised looks in the mirror you will experience soon enough! 😉

You don’t have imperfections, you have a map of memories.

When you really think about it, isn’t your body a keepsake of everything you have been in life?

Scars, stretch marks, and other various changes, they are here to witness what you have been through.

• Stretchmarks prove the ability your body has to adapt to a new you.

• Scars are here to remind you that you can heal. You’ve done it before, you will do it again.

• Wrinkles are a testimonial to how much you've laughed, cried, smiled. How much you’ve been LI-VING. This should be celebrated, not criticized and shamed.

Work on detaching from the media’s beauty standards.

One of the best ways to start appreciating your body is to listen to what YOU want to do and not what society says you SHOULD do. Wear whatever you want, change your hairstyle, get tattoos, get physically stronger, shave, not shave, put makeup on and so on. If you feel like walking around naked for the hell of it, then so be it.

Decisions about your body and appearance are yours and only yours to make. Re-read that, write it down, staple it somewhere!

You will be much happier the minute you start making decisions about yourself for yourself. So go, dye your hair blue, wear that dress you love, stop shaving your armpits if it makes YOU happy.

By the way, A boudoir shoot is a great way to say “screw it, my body is pretty awesome”. 😉

If you're tempted but are not sure what to expect, sign up below to get our secret pdf with all of the answers! ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

How to contact a boudoir photographer when you are a man

While boudoir photography attracts mostly women, men are not out of the picture (pun intended)! Boudoir has in fact many benefits for the gentlemen, especially when it comes to body-image.

Let's cut through the chase: we are two women, we have been open since 2015 and have always welcome men. However, many inquiries were not done as well as they should have been and we have to be careful. So we are going to be straight-forward and let you in on some tips to make your experience happen!

If you are a gentleman who is serious about doing a shoot but feels a bit uncomfortable to ask, this is for you!

1) If you find us online, go through our website.

It could sound simple, but many people don’t peruse the website before hitting “contact us”. We state very clearly our values, vision, and session information on our male boudoir page and our FAQ.

Make sure you review it before reaching out, we may not match what you are looking for.

2) Introduce yourself.

Another simple advice, yet it makes a huge difference. Some people don’t even say their names upon emailing. It can be considered a red flag on our end, so please spend the extra couple of minutes to tell us who you are, just like you would if you were meeting someone in person.

3) Be honest.

This is actually the main issue we have when we get inquiries from men: they aren't telling us what they are looking for. It is a-okay if you are looking for erotic, while we don't offer it, we are not here to judge and we are actually looking for a trustworthy colleague to refer you to!

In order to avoid many email back and forths and waste your time, please tell us straight up what you are looking for. 😉

4) Our inquiry system is by email first, Zoom meeting second.

Every new inquiry takes place by email. In our first response, you will receive all of the information you need as well as a request form for an Zoom meeting. We’re gonna be honest, some inquiries started well, then the potential client tried to dodge a simple online meeting. This is a huge red flag for us.

We always meet all of our potential clients online before booking anything, no exception.

5) If the style you want is not ours, don't insist or try to disguise it into something else.

(We mentioned this was going to be a no B-S post!)
Here is a classic scenario we face multiple time: man emails with a vague inquiry, we ask for details, we finally get that he is looking for erotic, we say we don't offer it, he tries to tone it down hoping it would fly. Spoiler alert: it won’t and now everyone is uncomfortable.

Once again, it is okay to want something different. If we don't offer it, it doesn’t mean it is bad or shameful, it just means it is not our jam.

We hope those pointers were helpful if you are considering to contact us for a session. We would be more than happy to make your vision come to life and have you join our team of male Scandals! Feel free to contact us if you have any questions!

Need more info? Sign up below to get our “what to expect for your boudoir shoot” PDF! ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Your closet is full of boudoir treasures.

One of the common misconceptions about boudoir photography is the fact that you have to wear the classic lingerie set during your shoot. FALSE!

Well, if it is what you really want to wear of course you can. There are gorgeous set of lingerie that are perfect for boudoir. But you can also wear so many other pieces! Anything can be turned into a boudoir outfit, all you have to do is to show some skin. You can be creative, mix and match different pieces, wear clothes you bought once but never wear because they are too “extravagant”, too colourful, or too sexy.

You don't have to play by the rules

It is very common to focus on your femininity if you identify as a women, or focus on your masculinity if you identify as a men, which is totally fine if it is what you prefer. But those are not rules set in stones. Unfortunately, there are a lot of stigma around femininity and masculinity, so often people don't dare to explore this hidden side of their personality. Whatever you identify as, don't be afraid to play with both of your masculine and feminine side.

If you are a men, you could for example wear a dark colour robe with heels. Or maybe wear some makeup, such as eye shadow. For women, you could try wearing a leather jacket, your hair up, and take a masculine attitude.

There are plenty of creative ways to embrace both side, without choosing to be cliché about them. See photography as a game, an experience you will try only a few times in your life, so you might as well have fun. The pictures are for you, at the end of the day you treat yourself the way you want.

You don't have to choose only one persona

Contrary to popular belief, we all have different personalities coming out depending of our mood, life events, weather,… So why would you stick to only one persona during your shoot?

You don't have to choose between being cute, badass, or sexy, be all of them! It is the same idea style-wise. During your shoot you can absolutely go from a cosy vibe, to a sultry and mysterious one. And maybe finish your session with some artistic nudes. If you do a shoot with us, we will tell you to bring a big suitcase with you, full of different pieces :)

Rock your wardrobe

Here are a few examples of what to bring. You will see that most of the items listed below are pieces you can easily find in your closet:

Bodysuits:

Those are our favourite pieces. Why? Because they look fabulous on every type of bodies, and you can find in so many different cuts and styles. On top of that, if you feel a tad uncomfortable with your belly, it will help to show it without uncover it completely.

Jackets & coats:

Those are great pieces to rock different styles (femme fatale, rock,…). We usually suggest to go topless with them, or depending of the length of the coat, to go fully naked. It is perfect to create some sexiness without showing to much.

High panties:

You can combine a high waisted panty, with pantyhose, and a bra or sweater, to a create a “flash dance” outfit. Or even the high panty, with a blazer and some pearls, for a totally different style.

Dresses:

Dresses are really pretty in boudoir, especially if they are see-through to play with your silhouette, and flowy to add some movement. Not sensual enough? Grab the bottom of your dress to show some thighs, or put one of the straps down to be more playful…

Jeans & pants:

Those are always a must, especially for men. Wearing a jean or pants, and being topless is such a great look for everyone.

And so much more…

Everything in your closet can be used for boudoir: faux fur shawl or jacket, blouses, shorts, corsets, skirts,… It is not about the cloth itself, it is about how you use it, and with what other pieces you combine it.

Don't forget the accessories as well: heels, jewelry and props, are a great addition to your outfits. We had Scandals bringing their most colourful necklaces, highest pleasers, bottle of whisky or wine, cheese platters, fruits, their pets (how badass it is to have your dog posing next to you for a shot?), and other amazing accessories.

Doing a boudoir shoot is the opportunity to take time for yourself, have fun, and let your amazing, badass, and sensual-self out. It is by letting go (of pressure, expectations, and judgment) that you will be able to relax, do all the things you wanna do, and live life by your own rules 💪

Check out some outfits ideas below:

Street harassment, a sad reality

You guys probably read or heard about the recent cases of street harassment happening to women in Toronto.

To sum it up: Some women have been followed by black SUV while they were walking alone downtown Toronto. The drivers ask them questions about directions, getting pushy if they don't reply and in some cases, other men came out of nowhere behind the potential victims.

Street harassment is a reality.

As scary as it is, unfortunately it happens all over the world, some countries being worse than others. Toronto might feel unsafe right now but for Juliette and I, it is so far the safest city we have lived in with London (England). France, on an another hand, is another story!

The goal here is not to scare you, neither to be defeatist, like: “well this is life, nothing we can do about it!”. We just want to tell you that all of us have to be aware of those situations, even if we have never experienced them. Knowing what to expect and potential dangers is important to be able to confront them.

We both unfortunately experienced those behaviours: being followed by men walking in the street or driving their car. Being catcalled, from whistles to insults such as:

“Hey f**king b**ch!”,

“You know I can r*pe you if I want!”,

“Come see me, I will put it deep!”,

“You have beautiful legs, at what time do they open?”…

But also been touched inappropriately (for Juliette) and been beaten up (for me).

And we are not the only ones! Ask any french women if they ever faced any danger in France due to men's behaviour, the answer will be yes and many times…

What we learn from a young age.

Street harassment is so common in France that most of the time you can forget about getting help from strangers as people don't even pay intention to those behaviours anymore. It has become so common that there are many rules we are taught from a very young age to avoid as much as possible any trouble. And we wanna share those rules and advice with you, which can be real life savers:

• Never stay too long at the same spot:

  If potential attackers see you are alone and waiting for someone, they will try to talk to you. Changing spots will make it more difficult for them and you can easily see if someone is following you.

• Show confidence:

  Chin up and look straight! Why do french women have resting b**ch face? To show no mercy to potential attackers. Those men are looking for easy victims, you have less risk to get in trouble if you give the impression you will fight back.

• Be aware of your environment:

  Walk like you know where you are going and always keep an eye on people (without staring). If they see you walking fast with purpose, you become a difficult target for them. Be also careful when you are listening to music. Always try to keep hearing what's going on around you.

• Walk on the sidewalk where you can see cars coming:

  Walking on the opposite side of driving cars is a great way to avoid being followed by one and it makes it easier to keep an eye on what can be potentially coming for you.

• Don't take risks:

  Don't make the decision at night to chose a risky itinerary because it saves you time to go home or because it looks pretty. It is not worth your safety! So when it is dark outside, avoid empty streets as well as parks. You wanna stay close to people, in bright and busy locations.

• Don't hesitate to ask for help:

  Talk loudly, scream, grab someone in the street or find shelter in places of business. It is better to alarm people for nothing and feel stupid about it, rather than keeping it quiet and really get in trouble. They will stay with you until someone you know come to help you.

• Listen to your guts:

  We don't say it enough: TRUST YOUR INSTINCT! If you feel in danger, it is probably for a good reason. Don't think twice, without showing fear remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can.

• In case you are in trouble: act batshit crazy.

  Those kind of men don't want to attract attention, so give it your best performance. Scream, make weird animal noises if you have to, catch them off guard and flee.

What can you do if you witness those behaviours?

Most of the time, people pretend they do not see anything when someone is in trouble is because they don't know what to do or they care about their own safety. But there are so many things you can do depending of the situation, you just have to educate yourself and get creative. Sometimes the simplest actions works. Check out Loréal's video for a few examples:

http://standup-canada.com/ L'Oréal Paris has launched an initiative in partnership with Hollaback! called Stand Up, with the goal of training one million peo...

Those situations should not happen, but they unfortunately do. So if you witness someone being harassed or worse, please don't hesitate to help. You don't have to do it alone, you can gather people around you to help as well.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER TO HELP PEOPLE IN NEED!

Looking to boost your self-confidence & reconnect with yourself? Sign up for our FREE confidence challenge!

Email Address

First Name

I turned 30

Hey Scandals, Fanny writing today!

I want to share with you my experience on turning 30. I feel like there are a lot of expectations coming from others but also from our own beliefs about starting a new decade. Generally speaking we believe that by 30 we should have our life together: be a home owner, married with kids and a carrier. So we put a lot of pressure on our shoulders thinking with HAVE to fit in this mold.

My friends, this is not the reality anymore (was it ever?) ! So let's dust off all of those expectations that, frankly, are just here to create more stress and anxiety. We don't want that in our life, do we?

Last January I turned 30 and honestly I was fine (end of the article, thanks for reading).

More seriously! I am the type of person who is not afraid to get old and die, so age was never really a struggle for me. But apparently it is a harder topic for others…

You see, people expect you to feel bad about turning 30, especially if you are:

• a woman;

• who is single;

• with no kids.

Like me! So around my birthday, I have heard them all:

“You must be so sad to turn 30?”

“Still no kids hein!”

“Are you single by choice?"

“When are we seeing a ring on your finger?”

“You are not 25 anymore, time to get settled!”… Blablabla.

For those who know me, you will not be surprised to hear that instead of feeling angry, I tried to educate those people but man it asks for a lot of patience!

It is really easy for people to guilt trip others, especially if they believe they know better. It is usually done in a “I am joking” way but the result is the same: we feel bad about our life choices and start doubting ourself.

The way I see it is we have 3 options here:

• we give up and make choices towards a life than is not ideal for us;

• we feel angry at them, carrying negativity and frustration around. The chances are we are gonna explode at some point and start useless confrontations.

• or, we ignore them and keep focusing on how we want to live our life (I vote for this one!)

Personally I believe some people are not worth my energy. I am happy with my lifestyle and would not trade it with anybody else. It makes me feel free and I know I am going towards the right path, meaning the one towards what I want to achieve.

Don't be afraid to dig into what you truly want and take actions to make them happen.

If your loved ones don't understand and disagree, then this is not your problem. In the end, it does not really matter what they think, they are not you. The best fight you can start is towards the life you wanna build for yourself.

Subscribe to our mailing list & get our feel good gift!

Email Address