What "self-care" really is.

For the past couple of years or so, “self-care” has been popping up everywhere you look, at all times. It's around so much that it's become some sort of trend and we don't even know what it actually means anymore because everyone has different definitions. Since we are big advocates of what we call “true” self-care, this is our contribution.

If we really think about it, we have "care" in "self-care".
Let's have a look at its standard definition:

"The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something."

Meaning that self-care is You providing You the tools you need to function in a healthy, safe and grounded way. Physically, mentally, it pretty much applies to anything you deal with in your life.

Are we all good so far? Good.

Treating yourself is different than caring for yourself

Oh boy is it easy to mix them up. The biggest difference is as follows:

Treating yourself relies on instinct.

It is usually a quick & easy fix to feel good in a very specific moment and it fades fairly fast. Moreover, treating yourself is not always good for you. Like indulging into drinking that whole bottle of wine to yourself or eating that enormous bag of cheetos watching Gilmore Girls. Feels good in the moment, but afterwards, not so much.

Self-care requires more work but comes with long-term effects. You are simply setting yourself up for a better version of You. 

And to tell you the truth, self-care doesn't always feel good at first. It's like going to the gym for someone that never worked out before. At first, you hate it. It challenges you, makes you feel sore and out of your comfort zone. But stick to it for a while and only then you will get the benefits that leads to actual self-care. 

Self-care takes time because you need a while to build a habit that will result in a positive outcome for You. Again "care" = protected, maintained and healthy. And that doesn't come easy in a world where we are constantly stimulated and influenced in a zillion directions.

So to make it simple: treating yourself is a punctual feel-good relief VS self-care is a long-term process to set yourself up for a better You

The other thing that we have also noticed is that the words "self-care" have been thrown around so much in ads, online & prints, that it has now been used as an excuse. You don't feel like doing something? Slap the "self-care'' label on it and don't do it. We are all guilty of that. If you don't want to stick to your work-out routine, fine, but what about when other people are involved? 

Inconsideration is not too far from nowadays' "self-care" definition.

Let's say you are planning something for weeks. You're taking care of everything and invited a bunch of your friends you really want to spend time with, who RSVP-ed. I bet you that at least 2 people will not show up last minute because "they don't feel it anymore" or worse "something else came up" (= something else that it turns out they would rather do, we are obviously not talking about an emergency situation here.). Some may not even tell you and just not show up. Lovely. 

Prioritizing yourself in one thing. And we know you need to do it for your own sanity and well-being. But from the moment it removes accountability or reliability, it is not self-care, it's just you being a dick.

And guess what? You do need a good circle of real friends and family to grow, be inspired, to evolve in general.

Nurturing relationships and being respectful to others is part of self-care too. It is another way to set yourself up for a better future because you will be surrounded by love. Wow the virtuous cycle. 

Everyone's purpose is to feel in harmony with ourselves and self-care is the ultimate way to make it there. Is it an easy path? Nope. Is it worth it? Undoubtedly yes. For you because you will accomplish your dream goals, but also for others, because once you really get in touch with yourself, you also help your surroundings get there too. And that's how the world changes for the best. Now take care.

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Censorship, Shadow banning: how social media sabotages our small business

Picture this: it is 2017, in the Toronto Reference Library. Two younger and eager Juliette & Fanny are nervously giggling at the "PUBLISH” button on their website. Finally, Scandaleuse was about to be shared with the world after so many hours being built in their heads. One click later, the business was officially born, and the word needed to be spread out.

What do you do then? Well, you start building an online presence. That's what business people say to do. We had a beautiful portfolio, tons of ideas and were ready to rock the social media madness.

Until, not even a week in, our posts got deleted and our accounts got threatened to be removed from Instagram and Facebook. Try to spread the word about your small business when you can't even post what you do.

You may wonder: "wow, what did the share for this to happen? Porn? Someone eating a kitten?" AHA. Just barely revealing boudoir photos than the platforms decided were for "adult sexual solicitation” (!!!). And it has been like that ever since.

Example of said “adult sexual solicitation”….

Why do we care to begin with?

We are going to be very honest: our clients don't come from social media, or very rarely. We could probably get away with not having a social media presence at all. The reasons why we are working so hard on our Instagram is for 4 main goals:

• Build a kind and respectful community;

• Educate around sensuality, body love and removing its negative stigma and pressure;

• Inspire and empower people (especially women) to be who they want to be;

• Show real bodies in an ocean of heavily edited, unachievable BS.

When our posts aren't taken down, we do succeed. We have met wonderful people and created beautiful projects thanks to social media, the most recent being our Unstoppable Exhibit, which also became the last straw in our thought process of getting the hell out of social media, once and for all.

As you can imagine, we have gone through multiple phases with our online presence, some comical, some a lot less.

The social media phases yours truly went through:

1) The "F*** you, we will do what we want" phase

That's when the little rebels that we are decided to try to stick it to the Man! You don't want us to post nipples? We will talk about it even more. We became officially black listed and to this day, we can't even do paid ads anywhere even if we posted the photo of a baby alpaca. That lasted a couple of years, until we realized we were pretty powerless and the removal of our accounts was imminent.

2) The "Fine, we will play by the rules" phase.

We became good girls and adjusted our entire vision to make sure the censorship monster wasn't gonna smack us. Nipples were blurred out and all. But then, IG changed once again their policy and it wasn't just the photos themselves that needed to be super PG, but also the wording.

Writing things like “nudity” “boudoir” “sexy” and so on became automatically flagged. The posts weren't deleted, but they weren't shown to anybody. 👌 That's shadow banning, and as you can imagine, completely useless for anybody trying to build a social media presence.

3) The "pack your bags and go" phase.

We were dealing with our shadowban frustration, battling with the "what is even the point of busting our butts with well thought and genuine content if nobody can see it?!", but we were still kicking.

Until we started talking about our Unstoppable Exhibit.

See, this project was solely created to spread awareness about domestic violence and collect donations for 2 charities offering help and shelters to the victims. But guess what. The words "domestic violence" or "abuse" are flagged. The series of photos contains partial nudity. So the posts were barely shown and it 👏 pissed 👏 us 👏 off.

Having to censor ourselves about our artistic work is already annoying enough, but seeing it happen when we are sharing content that could literally save lives was the last straw.

Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there

It has been 6 years now that we launched our social media platforms and this censorship is still happening and unfortunately getting worse. Recently we noticed that now even Google is removing some of our business posts (once again for inappropriate content 😡) and there is nothing we can do beside changing the main picture over and over again until we find the “proper” one.

It might not seems like it but this BS is time consuming and a big factor of stress. 90% of our clients find us through Google so the idea of being censored there is very scary as it could impact our business negatively.

We constantly feel this Damocles sword above our heads.

So… what now?

We love what we do and work really hard to build our business and educate people on the over-sexualization of the female body. So we had to find an alternative:

We are spending less and less time and energy on those stupid social media platforms, and devoting much more to our newsletter. This is our own land, we can share whatever we want to without fearing to be removed. Not having to worry about this is giving us a new love for writing and sharing.

Every Saturday, we combine a mixture of the following in our "Scandaleuse Letter":

- educational resources;
- empowering tips & tricks;
- gorgeous photography;
- new projects; and,
- behind the scenes.

Our only hope? That you will join the 500 people that are already there.

All you have to do is fill out the form below. You can unsubscribe at any time.

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We can't wait to see you on the other side,

With love 💖,

- The slightly older but still eager Juliette & Fanny

Should I keep my pictures private?

A lot of people are hesitant about doing a boudoir shoot because they do not really know how they will be using their pictures. Some can't imagine sharing them and the idea of other people seeing their photographs is sailing away the boudoir shoot boat, no matter how bad they want to try it..

Online sharing or not online sharing

If there is one main takeaway from this blog post, it is this: the choice of posting your photos online is yours and only yours. Not your partner. Not your family. Not your friends. Just yours. If it makes you feel good and safe to share them, just go ahead. On the other hand, if your desire is to keep those pictures private, then it is your right, no question asked.

That being said, we do encourage sharing your pictures with at least your loved ones and here is why:

Because you are also a source of inspiration to the people close to you.

You might think that only those massive influencers have an impact online, but we all get even more impacted by the people from our intimate circle. If someone we know does something we find inspiring, it will definitely make a long-lasting impression on us.

With your photos, you have the opportunity to inspire your loved ones, near or far. And we are not just talking about boudoir! Your showing that you've done something outside of your comfort zone will likely spark a fire for someone else to do the same.

It works with strangers too. If you only knew the amount of new Scandals who told us the reason they reached out was because they saw someone they could relate to on our page. How does it feel to be someone else's muse?! 

Breaking the code of unachievable beauty standards.

It's no secret that the media constantly promotes unachievable beauty standards. Even though we have seen some improvement, there is still a long way to go, and many more people left feeling like absolute garbage when staring at themselves in front of the mirror.

By sharing your photos, you are sharing what a body is really like. With the skin details, the little rolls, the curves, the bumps. THIS is how we break the mold. The more we can identify with who they see in the media, the less shame and pressure we will feel. And if we wait for the media to fix this for us, we are going to be here a while. The ball is in our court!

Being proud of yourself.

Hey, you did something outside the box, something many people would never dare to do. You left feeling great about yourself and ready to get familiar with this freshly discovered confidence. It is an achievement, and sharing achievements feels good. Toot your own horn for a minute (or two)!

The satisfaction of going against the grain.

This is more personal gain, but we can all agree that one of the best feelings ever is to be a bit rebellious. Yes, you know what we mean! Doing something that's generally frown upon for no reason at all…. It is so damn liberating and it leaves us wanting more. Just give yourself that satisfaction already!

Never forget that You can be a beautiful source of inspiration to someone you wouldn't expect and that you can provoke changes, even if it is just in your immediate surroundings.

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Why the French cliches make boudoir “à la française” super badass

A few months ago, we had a little realization: our boudoir style is very French. Naturally, since we are both from France to begin with, this was completely unconscious until we noticed we were saying quite often: “you look very French" to our lovely clients.

It got us thinking: besides our nationality, why do we gravitate towards this specific style and more importantly, why do we want you to try it so bad? Allow us to share our personal opinions on the matter…

A naked body is… just a naked body.

Don't get us wrong, we also deal with many unachievable beauty standards and body shaming. But the perception of nudity is different.

Since the beginning of time, nudity in France hasn't always been associated with sexuality, like it tends to be in North America. From the various art mouvements picturing a lot of nudity (looking at you, Renaissance!), to seeing our own mothers sunbathing topless on the beach, we just didn't ask ourselves if it was okay or not: it just was.

In our opinion, having this mentality definitely contributed to…

The "no f*cks given” attitude.

It is pretty known that the French have an unapologetic attitude. We consider it very accurate and this translate nicely in boudoir, as it becomes the perfect opportunity to make a statement and create a paradox: for example, we tend to have photos looking straight at the camera, doing nonchalant poses like you have not a care in the world while being in a vulnerable context, wearing outfits that would be frown upon in many ways. This rebelliousness is something we want to get you to try during a session, because it feels so damn good.

For a moment, you are breaking the codes in a world we are constantly told to follow them.

It's easier to conceptualize doing something for yourself.

French people are known to be individualistic, and once again, we tend to agree. Of course, it can come with a negative side such as selfishness, but on the other end, it is more normal doing something for yourself because you want to. Many women we work with in Canada haven't taken that chance to create some quality time with themselves in years. Many of them think they don't even deserve it. Giving them the chance to do it through our work is one of our favourite reasons why we shoot boudoir.

It is also why we say every single day that a boudoir shoot is for yourself first and not a partner. And to let you in on a little confidence: the rare times we get an inquiry that states that the shoot is solely for a boyfriend or husband, they fall through!

The French Fashion

The french fashion is not afraid to play with the codes and this is another very strong asset that bleeds into boudoir very easily. Why? Because it makes you stay away from the traditional boudoir outfits. Funny enough, lingerie is French to begin with, but yet, the French are so versatile in style that lingerie is not the main outfit during our sessions.

Playing with feminine and masculine outfits is also extremely common, which makes it even more interesting for artists: there are no limits.

There you have it: french clichés definitely work in our favor for boudoir and we should all take advantage of that.

Use them to feel strong, powerful, beautiful. To let go, to play, even if it is just for a moment. You will see how liberating that can be and you will ask for more. Oh and of course: free the nipple 😉.

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Throwback to: the Unstoppable Exhibit

Back in March earlier this year, we hosted our first ever opening night for an art project close to our hearts: the Unstoppable Exhibit.

This idea turned into so much more thanks to the many people we met along the way. Before we knew it, what was supposed to be a simple group photoshoot filled with “badassery” became a fundraiser against domestic violence, supporting 2 beautiful charities.

Now, a few months later, it is finally time for us to look back at this wonderful night and tell you everything.

Before the big day
(also known as how we were blown away by people's support.)

We already shared with you how we even came to build this project here. Now, we were a few days away from our big opening night and it was time to roll up our sleeves to prep an event we had never planned before.

It was really important for us to offer an art show à la Française. Not only did the show need to look clean and professional, but we wanted people to dress up, be able to have wine (in real wine glasses!), food and mingle.

The first step that made our hearts sing was getting the prints. When we picked up all the prints from Fotobox, we finally felt like everything we were doing was for real.

The second step was getting an official sticker, like in museum. You can't imagine the feeling of accomplishment a simple sticker on the wall can do. Saman Design took care of this for us, purely out of kindness.

Of course, the set up wasn't without any troubles. Some of the walls were concrete and the only way to hang anything from them was to drill. We can do many things, but drilling concrete is not one of them! Another kind soul named Cormack drove out of his way to make this happen for us.

After a solid 10 hours, a lot of nails and swearing, everything was set up and ready to go for the next day.

The big night
(also knows as : when reality exceeds expectations)

We were both pretty relaxed having set up the day before. Paradise Grapevine and Downtown Winery had generously donated wine, the food had been ordered, glasses were delivered. We expected to just set up the last minute things, relax and partake in the festivities with everybody else.

We told ourselves : if we have 30 people and manage to raise a $1000, we will consider it a big win. We're such a tiny business, absolute beginners in planning art shows, this is already quite the accomplishment.

We sold out at 55 tickets and raised over $3000.

Now, you may think 55 people isn't a big deal. For this space, it is. We were absolutely packed. People showed up right when the doors opened and ended up lining up at the door trying to get last minute tickets.

Meanwhile: we were in way over our heads

We are not going to lie to you, this entire evening is a blur and taught us many lessons such as: we should have thought more about the actual evening. We worked so hard on the before that we kind of forgot to see what work will need to be done during the opening night.

For example: we should have had staff. We ended up having to wash wines glasses, serve said wine, take care of print sales, and walk people through the exhibit. Luckily, a few friends saw our struggles and jumped in, but we wish we had spent more time talking to everybody the way we wanted to.

To our surprise, we also sold most of the prints for the evening. It was absolutely incredible for us as it was a testament that we went from an entrepreneur position back to artists.

This experience is our proudest achievement in our careers so far. We have many ideas brewing at the moment, and we know for a fact that we will be doing it again.

Since videos speak louder than words, you can see below a short clip of the entire evening.

You will also see that we had wonderful performers who donated their talent during the evening. Avah Coco is an amazing singer and Petra Queen of the Nile is a kick-ass burlesque dancer. Thank you both for honouring us with your talents.

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How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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Taking intimate photos doesn't make you a “whore”

On the 2022 list of "things we don't tolerate anymore, whatever the excuse is”, slut shaming is in the top 3!

We have heard too many times from people in our community, that some people in their life believe it is inappropriate for a woman to do a boudoir shoot. For example, one of our lovely Scandal messaged us saying how one of her close friends decided to stop talking to her after seeing her boudoir photos online. Long story short, her "oh so scandalous photos" made her look like she was an attention seeker and could not be trusted, especially around said-friend's husband. Mind-blowing, isn't it?

We have a universal truth for you: taking photos of yourself in a sensual setting showing partial, suggested or full nudity, does NOT make you a whore. It makes you a freaking goddess. And it might surprise you, but it has nothing to do with any physical aspects.

There are 3 types of people:

1. Those who are in the process of conquering their fear of something, anything, by stepping out of their comfort zone. They seek Happiness with a capital H and believe it resides in continuous learning and positive challenges in life.

   They know the recipe but haven't started putting the ingredient together yet.

2. Those who are a few steps ahead with a few life experiences under their belts, thus have already learnt to develop a "no fucks given" mentality and celebrate the fact that they can be who they really are.

   They have built solid foundations of confidence and it shows in everything they touch.

3. Last but not least: those who don't dare thinking outside the box and, quite frankly, are pretty scared to explore what's happening on the other side of the white pickets fences of "proper" beliefs they -or their environment- have built for them.

Guess which persona usually reaches out to us? #1 & #2. Why? Because they understand that boudoir photography is far from being just pretty photos. It is a set of tools given to you to start or finish the process of embracing yourself.

Gain some experience points and level up

By embracing yourself, you are taking the chance to live your life to the fullest, according to your needs.

Here is the super important part: by learning to do this, you are demolishing negative beliefs, you become much better at facing obstacles, you are significantly decreasing any source of anxiety and you trust your guts. You know what you need and are not afraid to do what it takes to make it happen. In other words: you know your worth!

Suddenly, the path to your dream job doesn't seem out of reach anymore. Or you know you can work your ass off to build the home of your dreams.

You will also attract relationships who will respect, appreciate and lift you up. Bonus: you will know how to do the same to others because you can acknowledge other people's worth too.

Think of it as a major level up. We like to think with each skills acquired in life, we have little "xp" points popping up above our heads like in video games. The higher you go, the more tools you unlock to keep leveling up.

So what if you use boudoir photos as a part of your ongoing growth?

There is something to learn in every experiences you go through. We know that and you know it too.

A boudoir experience is just a tool given to you to level up. Grab it, enjoy it a 100%, and take everything you can out of it. For yourself but also others. Because once you do get on the other side of basic beliefs, you will reach your hand out to bring others in too.

That's how strong teams are created and changes are made.

If you have that deep desire to try a boudoir shoot but you don't feel ready to take the first step yet; we created this detailed online boudoir program. It is the perfect opportunity to get a first taste of boudoir photography at home, with just you and your beautiful self.

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6 unusual inquiries we got for boudoir photography

Once upon a time, two boudoir photographers were having tasty breakfast together. And like most of new entrepreneurs, they decided to open their emails to check on new inquiries like they did every morning. That day they got a new one and happily started to read it, but their joy faded away when they saw the email attachment: a dick pic… They never opened their emails in the morning ever again 😂

We receive a lot of badass and emotional emails, but from time to time creepy and unusual requests are popping up. Some are hilarious, others are disturbing. 

Scandals, here is our top 6 of the weirdest inquiries we got since we opened Scandaleuse Photography:

N°6 : The dick pic guy

If there is something intriguing with Boudoir and men, is that most of the gentlemen who contact us for a boudoir shoot want to do something more sexual. Which is not a problem! Even if we do not shoot this type of photography we understand everyone has their own fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that. But what is the most disturbing for us is that some men believe we need to see their pee-pee before accepting to work with them. And it usually goes like this:

- Them: “I wanna shoot with you, do you need to see what I look like?”

- Us: “No need to! We do not chose our clients based on their look or body type.”

- Them: sending the picture of big Willy and the twins (with the worst angle and lighting) even thought we said no 😤 But if you really want to show us your joystick, at least do it in an artistic way!

Joke aside, here is a gentle reminder to anyone who want to send us pictures of their genital: just don’t, we really don’t need to see what you look like down there!

It was very tempting to add a moustache and a hat on this photograph and send it back to that particular client. Should we do it next time?

N°5 : The iPad guy

This made us laugh!

We received a long time ago an email from a guy who wanted to shoot one of his sexual fantasy with us, we don’t remember exactly what it was about. With his inquiry he attached a script of all the scenarios he had in mind, scene by scene with details of what we had to shoot (was it badly written on top of being weird? Absolutely!).

But wait, the best part was that he requested that we shoot only with is iPad. Go figure!

N°4 : The pink blouse guy

One day we were contacted by a man who wanted to do a boudoir shoot for his future husband. His idea was to lay down on a bed made of Kleenex - once again everyone has a fantasy. He was also looking for a wedding photographer but didn't want to tell us the date of the wedding - RED FLAG. The icing on the cake was when he asked us to wear pink blouses for the first meeting, because (and we quote) "the first impression is very important".

Sure! Do you want us to wear a french maid outfit so we can clean your discourtesy off your face? 

We nicely told him we would not do it, so he decided to go with another photographer and apparently found one… Good for him!

N° 3 : The "I like humiliation" guy

This one was probably the most recent one. We received an email from a guy who lost a bet and had to do a boudoir shoot, wearing high heels, sexy dress, lingerie and/or be nude. He had to walk like a model and be shoot in some very embarrassing poses, for his humiliation and women amusement.

We obviously declined, told him boudoir photography is an art, and that we work only with people who respect this type of photography.

But we added we could provide some headshots for professional purpose if he was interested. You have to see business opportunity everywhere right?!

N° 2 : The "you need to wear sexy clothes so I can feel turned on" guy

Ooooh man, this was our first weird inquiry. This married man sent us an email because he was looking to do a couple boudoir shoot with his wife. They have been married for 20 years and they were looking to spice up their relationship. We were pretty happy about it since, at that time, we didn't get a lot of couples interested by a boudoir shoot. So he started to explain what he wanted, sent us example of videos and pictures (remember the dick pic story previously, well those were the beginning). His wife had apparently a big and sexual appetite and they were looking for erotic photography. We explained to him this is not the type of service we offer but we could give them sensual pictures without crossing our boundaries.

We were not against working with them, they wanted to celebrate the love they have for each other by trying a new experience.

Unfortunately he crossed the line when he asked us to dress up very sexy during the shoot so he can be more excited. We were happy to not go forward with this inquiry: this couple were the lions, we were the gazelles. 

N° 1: The "let's redo American Pie" guy

And the winner is... (actually my little favourite, probably because I watch all of the American Pie movies)
A man who loved his mom decided to treat her with a boudoir shoot and reach out to us. What a sweet and thoughtful gentleman who was open minded enough to offer this beautiful experience as a gift for his mom. Or so we thought.

We were pretty intrigued so we replied to him asking for more details. Maybe his mom asked him to book the shoot for her, maybe it was a gift for his parents' wedding anniversary, or maybe his mom had self-confidence issues and he wanted to let her out.

We were so wrong, it was not a thoughtful idea but a pretty crazy one:

He wanted some pictures taken of his mom and his best-friend like the scene in the first “American Pie” when Paul Finch is having sex on the pool table with Stifler’s mom. The story never said if it was a spam or a serious request. 

Yes we are photographers whose main goal is to highlight the beauty and sensuality of every bodies, but it doesn't mean we get sexual pleasure out of it. So keep your pants on (at least until the day of the shoot)! We are not part of your fantasy, don't plan to be, and will never ever touch your purple-helmeted warrior of love.  

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I do whatever I want with my butt, thank you.

A few weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my pole-dancing Instagram stories with a very thoughtful question:

“Why are you doing this? The way you have to show your butt to everyone… What is the point? I just don’t get it.”

Did someone call Judgment to the table? Many of us have a hard time starting facing judgement, especially when we want to start something new.. It is very easy for people to share their 2 cents on how you should live your life. While there is nothing much you can do about their behaviour, you can choose to handle the situation to your advantage.

Detach, to not waste your time.

So here I was, in my underwear, upside down on the pole, practicing a move, minding my own business. Then this message popped up and I started to wonder:

• Why am I upside down on a pole?

• Why am I half naked in my apartment?

• Why do I share those online?

And so on until my mind was filled with enough random thoughts about my actions to the point that they made me question my entire being.

Hold on a minute here.

This simple message had me doubting myself and my choices? It made me think twice about sharing something that I actually love and that doesn’t hurt anyone?

Hell no.

I realized I had three options. I could:

- Let my anger out and tackled him with my words (tempting!);
- Spend my time starting a debate on how we live in a society where it is inappropriate for women to show their bodies but normal for men and how it is important to change mentality around that topic, or;
- Ignore his remark and keep my cool.

I went for the 3rd option.

Why? Because what this guy wanted was to criticize, not try to really understand and potentially change his way of thinking and beliefs. Getting into a debate to attempt to educate him was very tempting but I just knew it would have just left me feeling frustrated as hell. So I kept my cool, told him I would not go into details and wished him a good night.

Sometimes, You can absolutely have conversations with people, only if they come from a neutral and curious state of mind. If someone starts saying something with an undertone of judgement, you will not make them change their minds.

So don’t waste your time, and keep doing whatever makes you feel good, especially because…

It’s not about you anyway.

There will always be someone ready to negatively judge whatever you're doing. And the truth is: it has nothing to do with you.

Behind someone’s judgment is an insecurity of theirs shining through.

And they are projecting it on you. You poked at something that is uncomfortable to them. It reminds them of that one thing they wish they could work on but haven’t yet for whatever reason. Is it fair? Nope. Do we all do it? Yes.

Being aware of it gives you the chance to act differently in those situations. It makes it easier to let go of the negativity you are facing and even bring compassion to the table by asking this person what is really going on. (If you feel like it, of course. Again, pick your battles!)

No, detaching doesn’t make you selfish.

A lot of people, especially women, feel incredibly guilty not to listen when someone is giving them “advice” disguised in judgement. That's conditioning for you, the “be a good girl” kind of thing. If this is your case, here is a little reminder that can help: nobody knows your life better than yourself, therefore, the only person who can make decisions about it is… you. It doesn't mean you have to send everyone packing and that you don't care. But it means you don't have to accept everything coming your way.

It does not make you selfish or pretentious if you decide to not give a damn. You know you cannot please everyone.

You want to wear only blue clothes, go for it. You don't want kids, nothing wrong with that. You want to work in the sex industry, you do you my friend (no pun intended - or maybe a little!).

Don't let others dictate who you are just because they believe it is the only and right way to be. What you do with your butt, how you dress, the way you live your life and who you decide to be are your decisions to make.

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5 years later and we are still rocking!

“Shhh, not too loud!”

“You should not dress up that way!”

“You are just being dramatic!”

“You will never make it happen”

“Don’t be so bossy!”

if you were born as a woman you probably heard those sentences (among so many other ones) from a very young age and still nowadays. Women are often seen as fragile and delicate beings who are not supposed to make too much noise or take too much space. Even if it is getting a tad better, those clichés are still sticking to our skin putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on our shoulders and making our hearts heavy.

Well, one of the reasons we opened Scandaleuse Photography 5 years ago was to kick this BS in the butt and show society women deserve to be strong, badass, sensual, sexy, and successful, or any other way they want to be WITHOUT BEING JUDGED FOR IT 💪

5 years later we are still here, still fighting for our values, and ready to keep lifting our Scandals up as long as we can!

To celebrate our business anniversary we gathered footage from our past shoots, projects, and events, to created this short video that recaps our Scandaleuse journey:

And if you want more reading, here are some of our blogs we wrote about some of the events you saw in the video:

• We Were Nudist For 3 Days

• The Unstoppable Project

• How We Ended Up Creating An Exhibit For Women

• A Boudoir Shoot In Winter Wonderland

• Paris & Lyon, Our First Business Trip

• Photoshoot In Costa Rica

• Show Us Your Tats

• More Than Just A Parade

• The Day We Spoke In Public

• Our Limitless project which unfortunately did not work out 😞 :

  When we tried to fix it | When we gave up

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

• Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

• Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

• Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

• Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

• we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

• we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

• we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

• So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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Let's talk about choices

Today we are writing about something that is not boudoir related but that really impacts us as women: last week, Texas laws banned abortion at six weeks, and this is not ok!

It does not matter why some women decide to stop their pregnancy or when they want to do it, abortion is a choice and a right, and should not be a political debate.

My body, my choice

Since this law was voted, my social media have been saturated with anger, and extreme comments coming from both sides. People are very opinionated and an online war started between those who are for abortion and those who are against.

As usual instead of keeping their energy to fight people who create those ridiculous laws, people fight each others and totally lack compassion towards those who are facing this difficult situation that is an unwanted pregnancy (either they want or not to get an abortion). Either you are for or against abortion, you have to understand it is a personal decision.

There is no need to become hateful towards people who don't make the same body, sexual, or reproductive choices as you do.

If I were to take Juliette and I as an example, the new Texas law and seeing that abortion is still illegal in other countries makes us very angry, as we are pro abortion. But we understand and respect the fact that some women will never do an abortion for themselves.

People have different opinions and needs. What work for someone does not necessarily work for someone else. Creating laws that go against people's freedom is revolting and should not happen anymore.

via GIPHY

It is not a man decision

I can imagine some people being pretty upset after reading this. But I stand by what I am about to say:

When it comes to the woman body, men should not be allowed to make any decisions about it.

Of course I am not saying they don't have the right to have an opinion. I just believe that if you cannot physically experience a situation (such as an abortion for example), there is no way you can understand enough to take decisions or create laws about it.

Every topics around the woman body should stay in women's hands.

That being said, it does not mean that all women would respect others women choices. There are also a lot of men who fight beside women, and believe anyone should be able to decide what is best their own body and health.

The danger of making abortion illegal

“Banning abortion doesn’t stop it from happening, it just drives it underground” - Margaret Wurth

Beside taking away a woman's choice, making abortion illegal can also become a factor of risk or death. Women who really want to stop their pregnancy are not gonna magically changed their mind because it is illegal. They will find a way to terminate it, and a lot of times it means doing it in an unsafe environment or by people lacking medical training.

Even if clandestine abortion is “safer” than before because of medication and technology, women still die from it every day.

Unwanted and unplanned pregnancies will always happen. It is important to fully legalize abortion in every countries so women and girls can safely have the choice to terminate it if they wish.

Learning about it

You can find tons of useful resources about this topic online.

• Planned Parenthood is a great platform for everything related to sexuality.

• If the topic around abortion triggers your interest, I highly suggest that you read stories of women going through it, or even how life is in countries where abortion is illegal. Learning is a great way to open your mind to things you might not fully understand.

• I also recommend this beautiful movie called Vera Drake, that relates the story of a British housekeeper in 1950's who provides abortions to local women with unwanted pregnancies. When the authorities learn of her illegal activities, Vera Drake loses the admiration of many around her and possibly her freedom.

Juliette and I never had to face that choice and if one day we do, we are lucky to live in a country where we can choose. Today this blog is for those around the world who don't have the privilege to decide for themselves ❤️

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Boudoir photography is for everyone, period!

Inequalities are everywhere, even in the boudoir world.

We grew up in France seeing boudoir done in a classic and non-inclusive way: perfectly photoshoped young women, laying down on an hotel room’s bed, in black and white. We never saw curvy women, or even transgender people on those pictures. And for men, the only time we saw male boudoir photography it was done in an ¨humoristic way¨ (men posing very femininely, to make fun of women posing for boudoir -.how nice is that 😬).

Even now, only a few photographers dare to stand out and create a different boudoir experience.

All of those caricatures makes boudoir intimidating, and limited for people who don’t relate to traditional boudoir photography.

You have to be the changes you wanna see in the world

Changes don’t magically happen over night. We have to fight for things we care about in order for them to change.

So opening Scandaleuse was, and still is, our way to change mentalities around this amazing art that is boudoir photography: make it accessible to all genders, body shapes, ethnicities, and ages, and create a safe community where everyone feel welcome.

Be loud about the changes you are making

We don’t understand how in 2021 we are still struggling with those inequalities. For us, it just makes sense that every services should be inclusive, this is part of our beliefs. We never understood why some business owners select their clients based on their gender, sexual orientation, or even skin color (and in a more general way, why we are still dealing with racism, sexism, homophobia,… - but that is another discussion).

Back to topic! To give you an example, one of our client told us she was afraid to be rejected by photography studios because she is trans - this really blows our mind but not in a good way!

There is a funny thing that often happens when you try to make positive changes. Most of the time, you think you are doing enough until you realize you could do even better.

Why are we telling you this? Well, we recently noticed that we haven’t really wrote it in our website’s copy that we are inclusive. People who personally know us, or are following us on social media know about that fact. But for those who go directly to our website, they have to do a bit of digging to read about it.

Being inclusive is not just about accepting everyone, it is also about making this information clear and easily accessible so people feel comfortable reaching out.

via GIPHY

Like this gif above, your boudoir shoot is your freaking show, so you should feel 100% yourself doing it. And it starts by feeling accepted by the photographer!

Even in life in general, your gender should not be an excuse others use to reject you. Your body type should not stop you from experiencing all the things you wanna. Your skin color should not close doors on beautiful opportunities life gives you.

To recap:

• don’t be passive, fight for things you care about;

• be loud about it, don’t be afraid to share your message;

• and make sure you are doing your best, there is always room for improvement.

We are always open to suggestion, so don’t hesitate to let us know how we can, in your opinion, improve Scandaleuse.

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