Last January, I, Fanny, turned 35. Even though I am still young, I already start to feel and see that my body is going through some changes: My skin is getting thinner. I am getting more and more white hair, to a point where I cannot remove them anymore. Wrinkles are developing on my chest and around my eyes. I am getting tired faster. I feel colder more easily… You get it, I am aging, and I can see it 😭
People around me always tell me I look much younger than my age, that they cannot see all of those changes I mention to them. Older people tell me:
“Wait to see when you will be my age!”
And I get it. When Juliette, or other people, also tell me they look differently than before, I don’t see it. This is because we know our body by heart, so we notice in the mirror when there is the slight little change that is happening that no one else can see. Let’s be honest, accepting those changes is hard, especially as women!
And how can we do differently when all we heard since a very young age is that youth is everything? That we have to look a certain way in order to be desired and accepted by others. These beauty standards are so deeply rooted, that it doesn’t matter when people tell us that we have nothing to worry about. We trust what we see and all the shitty things people have told us over the years.
Isn’t it funny though, how we easily absorb any negative comments to a point they become our reality, but diminish every compliment we receive? This is when we realize, there is still so much work to do on ourselves!
It is time to embrace those changes
Not too long ago, I woke up and saw in the mirror that my chest was very wrinkled. It made me very sad, and I told myself that I should get an upper breast tattoo to hide this part of my body that is aging. Don’t get me wrong, I love chest and neck tattoos when it is well done, and I want to get one eventually. But I caught myself wanted to hide instead of accepting, and that is never a good idea!
Juliette and I have this conversation often, and in our opinion it is very important to understand why we feel the way we feel about our bodies, and learn to see beauty where society tells us there is none. No matter our age, It is all about breaking the negative self-talks most of us have, and stop treating our body as an enemy.
And when you get older, you have no other choice but accepting those changes because it is part of living. Like Juliette likes to say, and I highly agree, aging is a privilege!
Easier said than done
Always 😀… More seriously, there are a lot of solutions to start loving our body for its natural beauty. Here is what work for us, or what we have heard from the clients we have had the conversation with:
TIME HELPS
When I got more and more white hair, I freaked out for a little while. Then I told myself that there is nothing I can do about it, and tried to find beauty in having white hair. Eventually, I stopped focusing on them and now it doesn’t bother me anymore. Be patient, and you will get used to those changes. That is how we start to accept, with time.
SEE YOUR BODY FOR WHAT IT DOES FOR YOU
We forget that our body is so much more than an object that other people can criticize or desire. It carries us through Life, protecting our organs, bones, and tissues. The older we get, the more our body take, Between pregnancies, accidents, stress, and more, damn our bodies go through a lot. And we have to be thankful for that.
CHOOSE YOUR CIRCLE
Surrounding yourself with the right people is such an important step towards body acceptance. You want to have people around you who will lift you up and give you true compliments. Regarding social media, because it is now a big part of our life, you want to be looking at positive content and follow people who look like you so you can be inspired by others to accept the body you have, instead of dreaming of looking like them. And unfollow accounts that trigger negative thoughts about your body.
DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Yes, even if they are “scandalous”! People will always judge, so you might start not caring anymore and make your well-being a priority. Do not be afraid to try new things that help you reconnect with your sensuality. Finding an activity that focuses on your body (such as strength, flexibility, movement…) will change the relationship you have with it.
Try boudoir photography
Speaking of fun experiences to try that are body related, we cannot talk about this topic without mentioning the fantastic world of boudoir!
We are not boudoir photographers for nothing and if you have been following us for a while, you know that this is more than just getting pretty pictures of yourself. Having a boudoir shoot done is the opportunity to get pampered, have the me-time you deserve, and allow yourself to embrace your sensuality while having a lot of fun. You get to celebrate your body and see yourself in a new light. After your shoot, you will stand taller and walk with extra confidence. All of this gives you a long-lasting boost of experience and the feeling nothing in life can stop you 💪
Our bodies are changing, and that’s ok. So let’s give the big middle finger to all the pressure and external judgment we have felt over the years, to focus on the sensual beings we all are!