tips & tricks

How to build good habits

Do you remember few months ago when 2019 started, we were all super motivated with our new resolutions: I am gonna sleep more, drink less, eat healthier, buy less stuff, spend more time with my friends… How many of them are you still doing today? We all want to improve ourselves and set up goals to make our life better. So why is it so easy to give up?

 
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You can find so many tools on internet which tell you if you follow the steps it is going to work, like a magical recipe. Honestly those rules are not exact science and cannot work on everybody because we are all different. It is really important to find what works the best for you and to do so, you need to experience and educate yourself.

I am not really good at changing habits because I do not have a strong self-discipline but I love challenges. Here are few advice I can share with you, little tricks that have been working for me so far. But first of all grab a pen and a notebook, you have some writing to do!

The importance of writing things down

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Writing down ideas, goals or projects is primordial for their realization. But I am not talking about using a sticky note or paper sheet you are gonna lose, I am talking about a notebook or journal you can have easily access to, to read them whenever you need.

I was like you when my friend told me for the first time to write my goals down, very sceptical: “What does it change? I do not need to put those on a piece of paper, everything is in my brain!”. And you see, that is the tricky part because those are just thoughts, nothing specific. Writing them down will help you to visualize them to make it more real. It will also help you prioritize on what you should focus on, instead of having it all mix up because you have to much going on in your brain and taking the risk to forget half of them.

Motivation

This is the first step and most importante part. You need to have a strong motivation otherwise it is going to be very difficult to achieve. Once you wrote down the bad habits you want to change or new ones you want to add to your life, ask yourself why and write the reason. Let say you want to lose weight, what is the reason? is it because your actual weight makes you get tired real fast and you don't like not being in shape? or is it because someone told you you look too curvy?

Are you doing it for yourself or just because it is what you are “supposed” to do? Changing just to please someone else or to do the same thing as others will not help.

Recently, I decided to change my morning routine which was having breakfast in front of a tv show. There is nothing wrong with that until I realized it made me start my day tired and not really motivated. If I read, listen to music or work while having breakfast, it makes me start my day with way more energy than watching tv on my sofa.

Is it realistic

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The second step is to make sure you can actually achieve them, otherwise let me tell you it is a waste of time and it might break your motivation, when you realize you cannot be successful at it. If they are unrealistic but you really really want to make them happen, then find a solution to the problem (even though it means changing other part of your lifestyle):

One of my goal is to wakeup everyday at 6.30am because I want to watch the sunrise and have more time for myself during the day. Unfortunately I do not sleep well so waking up early when you had only few hours of sleep was too difficult. I had to find first a solution to sleep better: 10 min of meditation before going to bed works like magic. Since meditation is new to me I really have to force myself to practice daily, so I can sleep better and wake up earlier. Do you see what I mean? You might have sometimes to create a habit to be able to work on another one.

Consistency & Self-Discipline

And of course the last step and most difficult one: daily routine! Consistency is the key to set up any new habits, you HAVE to do them everyday so it can become natural. Of course at the beginning you will forget or be too lazy but do not give up. Force yourself even if you are not motivated to do it and stop looking for excuses. You will be tempting to go against those good habits you are setting up, just don't. Temptation is like a bad craving, but it goes away after few minutes… You are stronger than your brain! If not, trick yourself:

When I want to wake up early I put my phone far away from my bed so I have to get out of my bed to turn off the alarm. If I leave my phone close to me so it reachable from my bed, I turn off the alarme and fall back asleep.

Organization and scheduling

I found out planning your day in advance helps a lot to make some of your new habits a success. You do not to be as organized as business man but just scheduling your day when you wake up will have a huge impact on your routine.

So what about you Scandals, any tricks to add?

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VIDEO | Is it wrong to want to feel sexy?

Short answer: Absolutely not.

The truth is: there shouldn’t be anything wrong with the word “sexy” nowadays since it can mean a lot of different things. It is perfectly normal to want to sexy, and you can learn why in the video below:

Don’t be scared to say it out loud, sexy beast!

VIDEO | Safety first!

New concept alert!

This is our first video from a new series we will be developing around here. Since we can’t never emphasize enough about how safety is the first thing you should ever consider while booking a boudoir photoshoot, we turned it into an informative video for you!

5 mistakes to avoid when taking your sexy pictures

Don't get us wrong, of course you should book a boudoir session with a professional (aka us!). But if you're feeling a little adventurous and are dying to experiment a little bit by yourself with your beloved cellphone, here are a few common mistakes you can avoid.

 
 

1) Too low or too high is never flattering.

This is the main mistake we see when people are taking selfies, they tend to either hold their phone very high above their heads, or very low. Framing your shot with your phone slightly higher than your eye line can be a good idea, to make you look a little thinner, (and show the goods!), but don't put it up completely or you will look like your head is 5 times bigger than the rest of your body. 

Low angles are honestly the devil. Even us as professionals use extreme precautions before considering it. The perspective will be distorted, you will have a double chin no matter what you do. Unless you are mastering the art of low angle, ditch it!

2) Is that your dirty laundry in the background?

I don't know about you, but every time I see a selfie, I am always checking the background. Because God knows I have seen hilarious things there: toilet, food, people (!!), your dog humping a cushion, you name it!

Be mindful of what is behind you, you can have the best body in the world, if there is even the slightest toilet paper roll in that bottom right corner, your beautiful work is ruined.

3) You're not a contortionist and it's okay

Keep your posing simple. No need to put your leg behind your head, wraps your arms in an uncomfortable position you would never do in reality. All you need is to straighten your back, ideally arch it just a bit to bring the girls up, roll your shoulders out and balance your weight on one hip. Boom done. Leave us the more complex posing, we will guide you accordingly.
Bonus: it helps a lot to have a mirror facing you so you can see what's going on.

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4) The yellow bathroom lights are rarely a good idea

Prioritize natural light, always. Try to face a window as much as possible, avoid the harsh top lighting, it will create some shadows that will give you the ultimate raccoon look. Most of our artificial lighting has a yellow tone too, which is far from flattering.
Bonus: unless you have a super well lit bathroom, stay away from it (+ it will help with the background mistake we just talked about).

5) Watch out for the wedgies!

Wardrobe malfunctions on set! Make sure everything is where you want it to be! The straps, the stockings, the panties, pasties, whatever you are wearing! There is nothing more frustrating than mastering your lighting, posing and angles and your beautiful brasilian cut panties are waaaay too low (#unwantedbuttcrack)

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Last tip for the road: practice and snap away. Taking your own photos can be really fun, even if you just keep them to yourself. also, Make sure you are doing it because you want to, not because someone is putting pressure on you. always. Seriously.

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We can improve your sex life.

It's getting hot in here (so hot!) …
Now that we all have this song stuck in our heads, tighten your seatbelts and hold on to your panties, we are going to talk about sex and how a boudoir session can actually help improving your sex life.

Sex should be good.

Thanks Captain Obvious.

Whether you are sexually active (or not), with a partner (or not) and you are just curious, we can assure you that sex definitively has some perks. If you do it right, with consent (always), with someone you can trust, it's one of the best adventures in life. For some, it comes easy - no pun intended - for others, the road is a little bumpy, and guess what? It's totally fine.

If there is one thing to know about sex in general, is that you need to feel comfortable in order to fully enjoy it.

 
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Our bodies and minds work a certain way, and usually if your mind isn't at ease, the rest won't follow. Especially for the ladies it seems (yay). Have you ever had your entire body wanting to seriously get intimate with a specific person and no matter what you do, it's like there is a "NO PASARAN" sign by your vagina? If so, you know what I am talking about. Conclusion: happy mind = happy sex time.

You come first

No pun intended, again.

We are going to let you in on a little secret here: to be fully comfortable with someone, you have to be comfortable with yourself first.

We have received many inquiries from women saying they are sexual beings and yet don't come off that way even though they want to. They see themselves in a way that they are not comfortable with, which leads to them feeling the opposite of sexy and thus, they never let go.

Spending your intimate time with your partner wondering if he/she finds you attractive is definitely counter productive. Especially since 99% of the time, your partner does find you extremely attractive, because hell, you probably wouldn't be sharing sheets if it wasn't the case. And honestly, life is way too short to think about turning the lights off of hiding any parts of your body during sexy time. Focusing your energy on something else will only be beneficial. (And if you are dealing with the last 1%, run, that guy/girl is a douche, doesn't deserve you and you don't want to be there.)

 
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What the hell does it have to do with boudoir then?

As boudoir photographers, we change the perception you have of your body. Yes mam. When do you get the chance to see your entire naked/half naked body from every angle? Never.

You only see yourself from one point of view and depending on your mood, that view can seem terrible because we all know we are our worst critics.

Trusting a professional and getting a chance to see your body the way it is, in beautiful setups, flattering poses and gorgeous light is a huge step towards self-acceptance. Of course, if you go with someone who is going to edit the hell out of you, it is kind of killing the purpose, which why we don't change bodies during our sessions as discussed here. The goal here is to see the real you. And to start loving it.

And then what?

Then, reality is hitting you in the face, in a very nice way, like a warm summer breeze.

Seeing your photos will trigger different very positive emotions such as "is that me?" "oh god I didn't think I could look like that" "I would have never thought of that". You will start seeing yourself completely differently, and you now have a little reminder (aka the photos) of how great you look when you are feeling down. Hell, I look at my photos here and there too!

From there, you can make peace with yourself. Suddenly, you don't want to turn the lights off. You feel like trying new lingerie from your wildest dreams. Your first reflex isn't to hide your breasts when you are with a partner. You are not dodging your reflection. You are letting go.

And guess what? Letting go leads to the best orgasms. Isn't it what we all want? Now go have fun.

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