You can say "no" and people will still like you.

Since we opened Scandaleuse, we have been shaking the Earth for opportunities. One of our motto is “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”, so we jump right in with our no-BS mentality and 90% of the time, we get positive results. But sometimes, we cannot get a simple yes or no answer for the life of us.

A lot of people are incapable of saying “no”. Why is it so hard to reject an offer, to set boundaries and decline something you can’t or don’t want to commit to directly? If you are one of these people, do read the following!

You won’t be offending anyone. (and if they are, honestly, they need to grow up)

The #1 reason for not being able to say “no” is the fear to offend the person you are refusing something to. Maybe you like them, you’d love to help, you’d like to be able to swing whatever they are asking and if you were to say no, they will be disappointed, let down and -dear God- they won’t like you anymore.

Trust me, I am the one person that cannot stand not being liked by someone. I am Reliable Girl and it crushes my heart if you don’t like me. (I am working on it). But there is something even more important to me when it comes to other people: I treat them the way I want to be treated, with mutual respect.

To me, being honest with this specific person and admitting you won’t be able to do whatever they need you to do is showing respect.

Respect of their time. It definitely does not showcase a lack of feelings or care to them, it is just letting them off the hook so they can replace you, organize themselves and avoid endless awkward follow-ups with you.

don’t be the cause of multiple follow-ups.

On the business side of things, you have no idea how many times we follow up with people on a weekly basis. It feels like we need to babysit people constantly, and it is a huge waste of time when we finally get a “no”. Are we disappointed? Not so much. Are we annoyed because you stayed on our to-do list for weeks? A little. We are not psychic, so until you put on your big girl pants to say a definite and clear answer, we will keep asking.

The truth is, you are likely to lose credibility as a person or a business by making people wait around.

We have reached out to companies we truly admired and got led on a potential opportunity for weeks. It ended up not working out and it stained our perception of them. It just shows us you really don’t give a crap, which can be okay too, after all you can’t care about everything, but ignoring us or leading us on makes us feel like dummies. And if I feel like a dummy through your behavior, I will never come back and I will also never spread a good word around.

So truly, saying “no” can be a proof of reliableness, which is one of the best quality anyone could have.

Don’t make me feel like you are waiting for better options.

Ah. The biggest problem in our generation. People wait to see if they have better options before giving you a definite answer. They like to keep their options open. Blame it on the FOMO (the Fear Of Missing Out) movement.

But on the receptive line of this, how do you think I feel if you throw a bunch of maybe’s at my face and then cancel my plans for something else? Like crap. Like my ideas don’t matter to you, they aren’t worth your time. This also applied if you leave me hanging and don’t show up.

How to behave in society so you keep your friends and your business

Rant over, let’s get to the actual advice.

By all means, please decline an offer if:

• You have too much on your plate. If you already don’t know how you could possibly fit this inquiry in your schedule, be honest and decline it. It’s way better than half-assing it or worse, not even show up.

• You really don’t want to do it. It’s that simple. If you get an off feeling by just hearing the favor, that’s not a good sign. And no, laziness is not a good excuse, but feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable are.

• It’s just not a good time. Bad-timing is a real thing, you are not Wonderwoman. For your own sanity, you can’t accomodate everyone and maybe it is time you put yourself first.

Note: don’t be a dick when you decline something but be honest. Honesty is always appreciated. Remember: mutual respect.

What are the benefits of saying no?

• You won’t look like a fool. If anything, you may gain respect for not wasting people’s time.

• You can take better care of yourself. By not overscheduling yourself, you can take a breather and put your health, your mental state back into first position in your life, just like the way it should be.

• You actually become reliable. You’ve set boundaries and people know they can expect honesty from you, that you will actually be here if you can help. You are building trust and it is the hardest feeling to build with someone.

So there you go, no more excuse to… give excuses. Here are your big girl pants, tailored just for you. You will thank us later!

We have an empire of confident women to build.

When you are building a business, you need to figure out the big "WHY" you are doing it. It may sound simple at first, but putting it on paper and being able to explain it clearly takes a lot more work than you'd think. Our message wasn't clear enough.

The Soul Story

If you follow us on Instagram & Facebook, you may have seen that we went to a workshop without any big expectations and it kinda shook us up. It was led by Odette Laurie, very interesting woman may we add, and she was talking about finding your soul story to explain your business. Hers was based on her painful family past and harsh moments. It made us question about ours.

We were encouraged to be strong and to not take crap from others.

By our families, who raised up right. Our parents believe we could be whoever we want to be and that we have what it takes to do so. They taught us not to give up, be creative, be kind and not be a doormat because of our gender.

We mentioned it in one of our first blog post back in the day, we have dealt with sexual harrassement. We have heard the "you shouldn't do this, you're a woman.". We have dealt with awful men grabbing us in the streets. I have personally spent an entire job interview with a man twice my age staring at my breasts the whole time, when I was 18. Or that other man that told me I must spend a lot of time on my knees as a French girl. I have heard "whore", "slut", "how much" so many times I can't even count anymore. Directed to myself, but also to others.

I remember the anger for these specific moments. What I didn't realize, is that this turned into so much more. It turned into Scandaleuse.

Don't get us wrong, yes, we are all about body-positivity like 100% of boudoir photography studios in the city. It's a given to us. But we don't want to limit ourselves to just that.

We want to make women feel free.

It is absolutely killing us that some women are still stopping themselves from doing something because it's frown-upon. It makes me so angry when I hear "I could never do that, no one would respect me/take me seriously". They will, if you make them.

I just want to give you a hug if that thought has crossed your mind before. And encourage you to change that thought by "Screw them. I want to do this and I will go for it. I don't owe sh*t to anyone" , because guess what? You don't. For real.

We want to make women feel badass.

Because being free is awesome, but not enough. We want to make YOU feel like you can conquer that freaking mountain in front of you. Because we KNOW you can. If you are already doing it, we want to encourage you to keep going until you've reached your goal. And then find a new goal because a powerful woman like you does not stop there.

We want to bring up the "good hair days"

Don't go, I'll explain: you hear/read a lot about bad hair days. And by that, I mean when someone you know woke up on the wrong side of the bed, when nothing is going well and everything sucks. We don't talk enough about the days when you get up one morning and you feel like it's gonna be a good one. You feel gorgeous, you have a great smile on, you are ready to rock your day. This is exactly the feeling we give you with our boudoir photography. Let me tell you, your inner Beyonce is about to shine!

You deserve to be confident. You have every right to express yourself by any way your wish. It's already in you whether you know it or not. We chose to express it by boudoir photography. Now that you know everything, just one more thing: We're game if you are.

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How I Met My Business Partner - Episode 2

Episode 2 : From London to Toronto

In case you missed it, you can catch up on how two French girls ended up in London at the first place here. Grab a cookie, get comfy, here is the second episode of your Scandals-en-chef's story.

London, Wood Green, October 2012.

Our suitcases are heavy, so is the rain, but we don't care. We found a house. It looks cozy (turns out it wasn't), the rent is fairly cheap (for London), the landlord seems friendly (turns out she wasn't either) and the rooms were just re-painted (that was true. Our first night with the smell of the paint is a delirious and hilarious blur. Don't do drugs kids.)

First step was getting a job and quick. Knowing that our English was not that great, our first bet was to apply in bars & restaurants, hoping to get something fast. That's exactly what happened: we looked for 2 or 3 weeks before finding jobs as a barmaid and waitress. This is when the 17-hour shifts and the going home at 2 am started. I am not going to lie, little Scandals, it wasn't easy. But we were okay. We made enough money to pay for our basic needs. We didn't need much and we had each other. Our main activities were cooking, watching movies snuggled in one of the bedrooms (we didn't have heat for the longest time ever, told you it wasn't that cozy), and going window-shopping because with our wages, going real-shopping was out of the question. (They don't tip in the UK, guys!)

This is when you need to know one of the key element to our story: a 5"7 Canadian guy swept me off my feet and gave me the idea to start the paperwork and pack my bags to go over the Atlantic. After giving a lot of tears, time and dollars to the Canadian government, my paperwork went through and 6 months after our British arrival, I was about to leave again.

This situation was quite a bit of a pickle. See, we were kind of used to live together Fanny and I and we even started a wife/wife relationship there (our common shopping cart can be a witness of that).

Thinking of giving it up wasn't easy so Fanny decided… not to.

A blurry photo from when she took me to the airport in London

Fanny's second day in Toronto

Toronto, Yonge & Eglinton, February 2013

I will always remember when she told me "you know what, I'll come too". She applied for a working holiday visa, which she got a few days before I left, in February 2013. I landed in the Torontonian winter (during that ice storm we had back then, remember?) and I am not gonna lie, the months before Fanny's arrival were not a lot of fun. Getting accustomed to a new country, a new culture, a new job, while being away from my entire family was tough. Everything seemed just... so far. It was also the first time I was dealing with a time difference between my loved ones.

The minute Fanny landed in June 2013, everything felt like a little more like home. It was even better when she found a place literally across the street from mine. We were ready to conquer Toronto, one glass of wine at the time.

We have now been living for almost 5 years in Toronto, but trust me, it wasn't all pink and unicorns. But that will be the next episode…

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What changed since we opened Scandaleuse?

Five months ago, Fanny and I took the decision of changing our lives and get on the entrepreneurship boat towards new adventures. We have had a great start so far. Thank you for following us on our instagram and our facebook page, we are building a nice new community of butt cheeks we are very proud of.

While we’ve always wanted to create our own company, we never actually took the plunge. My life was more about reading books and testimonials from people who actually did it and then tell myself the ”I will do it too someday”. Then I turned 25. Then Fanny got her working visa, which allowed us to legally get into a partnership. And it clicked. I quit my job and 4 days after, our shaky fingers finally showed Scandaleuse to the rest of the world from the Toronto Reference Library.

Quitting your full-time job to follow what you really believe in and give yourself a chance wasn’t easy. But oh boy is it worth the risk.

Being photographers, we were already quite far from the 9-5 office job, we were used to long, odd hours and last minute requests. Maybe it helped with the full time business women transition. We have always been organized, hustlers and not scared of hard work. More importantly, we have each other. It's a no-brainer that jumping into something like with someone is easier.

Here are our 5 best perks of running Scandaleuse and many many other projects. Don’t worry, we are not giving you the usual  I-work-from-home-so-that’s-awesome that you can find online. Here we go:

1)    We are not paid less because we are women.

This had to be my first point. I am blown away that in 2017, women are still earning less than a man for the same exact job. A lot of companies take advantage of it. So yes, one of the biggest perks of running your own business is that you price yourself the way you want to. So, no less dollars because we have vaginas. BOOM.

2)    We don’t have to deal with creative frustration.

You want to work on a brand new project? Well then do it. No approvals to get, no time wasted. Of course, all the work is on you, but since we are kind of organization ninjas, it’s definitely not an issue. Now, on top of shooting, we are about to start giving workshops and being keynotes speakers at events and that’s pretty sweet. (The amount of terrible jokes people will hear is unreal. Sorry.)

3)    We are very good company.

I was a little scared of getting lonely and getting bored working from home. Hell no. Fanny and I work together face to face multiple times a week and from our places the rest of the time. I am seeing my apartment a little more (only a little, because seriously, we are always out somewhere) and I am loving it.

4)    The constant learning position

We are the kind of people that need to learn constantly. We are naturally curious. After working at the same job for a couple of years, I started being unhappy because I felt like I wasn’t learning anything anymore. This was when I realized I needed to go. Building your own thing teaches you something new all the time.

"Once you stop learning, you start dying.", right?

5)    The Brownie Points

Everyday is a new little victory. It could be from booking a shoot, working on a new idea, fixing the website or finalizing a project. That sweet feeling of "Damn, we did it” is so good!

This could sound like we live in a world full of unicorns and glitter, and trust me, we don’t. Consider us just well-prepared and determined to make things work. We have our tough days, a crap ton of stress and disappointments. Would I go back to working full-time for someone else? Not anytime soon.

For the road

• If you expect to start business without knowing a minimum what you are doing, think twice. Read, go to seminars, get as much information as possible
• While having a business bestie is awesome, pick the good one. Fanny and I have known each other for 8 years and have worked together on multiple occasions before officially doing it on paper. Trust your gut.
• Have savings. Business don’t pick up right away. We are lucky to have projects on the side and savings to save us from sleepless nights. Don’t start your business being broke.

Now, go YOU!

The day we spoke in public

Last week, Fanny and I did our first workshop. And since we never do things half-way, we chose to do it at the easiest place on the planet for regular people: the Oasis Aqualounge.

If you were to remember only ONE thing about us, it's that we believe that you should be able to do whatever the hell you want with your body, as long as you are not putting yourself or others in danger. We pride ourselves to be respectful of people's choices even though they might be different from ours. In case you are not familiar with the Oasis, it is the only high end sex club downtown Toronto. Meaning that you go there with or without a partner and you do or don't do things. No it's not dodgy, and yes it's safe (and clean).

Now that we cleared the air, you must wonder why we ended up here at the first place.

We actually contacted them. It's that simple. They were pleased with our body positivity approach and the diversity of our models, and offered to give us a timeslot during their monthly event. We saw an opportunity to talk to people directly and took it. However, here is the difference between this specific adventure and a regular workshop: people pay the entrance ticket to the place, not to your speech. It is available to them if they feel like it. Meaning that people came or left half way through.

We had NEVER spoken in public before, especially in English. We had no idea what to expect. I seriously had notes with me that just said "SPEAK" so I remembered.

How do you practice for an event that you know no one is coming for specifically? You can't introduce yourself multiple times if new people show up. What happens if it's boring and people leave in the middle of it? To be honest, all of these thoughts kept me up at night.

If you don't follow us on Instagram, you should. We love stories!

So here we were, a few days before the workshop, rehearsing in my living room, and timing our speech to keep it short and sweet. We got frustrated by our accents we think are too thick. We changed our speech 20 thousand times. We rehearsed for 6 hours non-stop one day. Again, again and again. 

The day of, we grabbed two glasses of wine, generously offered by the Oasis, took a deep breath and stepped on the stage, in front of strangers. "Picture people naked" they say. Well they already were. Surprisingly, after 3 minutes and a second glass of wine, we didn't even notice it. We did our speech - with technical difficulties and our awkward English - and we started asking for volunteers to take pictures of.

Then something pretty cool happened.

Instead of having one couple and one woman volunteering like we planned initially, we had 6 couples. We managed to make people trust us even though the first thing they said before listening to the workshop was "I don't want my picture taken". Our short intro did work. We even had to turn people down because we were out of time (and releases).

We met amazing people. All shapes, age and gender. The connection they share with their partners is unbelievable. We only had a few minutes per person and yet, we got amazing images. We saw the trust, the love and the complicity between two people and we were so honoured to be given a chance to capture it.

A lot of things didn't go as planned. We messed up quite a bit, we stuttered, we made jokes no one laughed at, saw people leaving when we were speaking, and had tough lighting conditions to shoot in. But we did it. We. Freaking. Did it. Because at the end, all that matters is that:

Some people stayed
Some people laughed
Some people were excited to have their pictures taken
Some people sent us nice emails
Some people believe in what we do.

Mission accomplished. To the next workshop!

How I Met My Business Partner

Episode 1 : From Paris to London.

Hello Little Scandals,

Juliette here! As you know, there are two Scandals-en-chef behind Scandaleuse. Fanny and I are lucky to have a rare relationship. A very strong bond that was built over the years. Not to say that we agree on everything, we are not Barbie dolls surrounded by unicorns, but we have been pretty lucky to find each other.

So that's the story for today: how we met.

(Fanny doesn't know I am writing this at the moment. Surprise!)

2012, and already taking lingerie photos....

Paris, September 2009. I am 17, Fanny is 19. I am from the middle of nowhere in the North of France and Fanny grew up in Paris' suburbs. We officially met for the first time when both of us sign up for Photography school in Northern Paris. Two young women trying to chase their dreams and learn the craft that Photography is.

The first things I remember about Fanny are:
• She was ALWAYS wearing heels
• She had to have her coffee from that crappy machine we had in the hall multiple times a day.
• Her nails were different color every week. Like seriously, that was the fun fact of every other Monday.

I felt like she was such a grown-up compared to me & my black nails, because y'know I am rock'n'roll.

We spent the first year of school becoming friends but nothing crazy. We both had other girls we bonded with. Turns out both of these lovely girls ended up leaving after the first year and Fanny and I kept going for the second part of the program.

I guess this is when we started becoming close. I was slowly struggling with this school that I didn't like, seeing Fanny was pretty much the only thing that made me go. We modelled for each other's assignments. We did random shoots when no one was taking care of us.

She was always game to follow my crazy ideas of creating dresses out of curtains and go shoot in a public park in Paris.

Yep, this was one of first sessions!

#artplease

I wanted more than the school. I wanted to travel. I didn't go through the program and didn't do the last year. Fanny kept going and I found another school than led me to London to work as an assistant for a photographer there.

Surprisingly, my leaving made us stronger than ever. Over the span of 8 months, I did my internship and went back home. Fanny had that tickle to travel then and I desperately wanted to go back to London. "You should come with me" I told her one day on October 2012.

Later that month, I got a phone call:

"I am coming with you, let's do it" she said.

Tickets were bought the same day, we packed our bags and left two weeks after.

The day we left for London with 3000 bags.

To this day, the moment when both Fanny and I were in the Eurostar, on the way to London-St-Pancras, is one of the most powerful moments of my life. We were both very serene. We were doing something kind of crazy, leaving our friends and family behind, to go to a city Fanny didn't know and I was barely familiar with. City where people speak another language we didn't really know. No jobs, no apartments, just our thirst for adventure. Yet everything felt like it was meant to be.

After writing this, I realize than we are going to need at least another post to tell you guys how we ended up in Toronto.

Stay tuned Little Scandals.

I had to end this blog post with some vintage pictures of us. Here we go, yours truly!

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